Wakey Wakey!
Hands off cocks, on socks..

Tis Monday, so, good weekend/busy week type thread?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 7:27, 89 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Busy.
Very busy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 7:37, Reply)

Doing what?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 7:45, Reply)

work.
Plus study for R03.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 7:54, Reply)

Morning
I have many miles to travel this week. I have to go up to the North-East to see two potential clients. I will be staying overnight - are there any particular phrases I should learn?
Weekend was good apart from the lack of sleep on Saturday and the aftermath of Saturday night's curry on Sunday.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 7:51, Reply)

Just say 'Ho-way!' all the time.
You'll be fine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 7:57, Reply)

Get a copy of this:
www.amazon.co.uk/Larn-Yersel-Geordie-Scott-Dobson/dp/0946928010
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 8:55, Reply)

back at work after a fantastic week
my work phone is taunting me; the homescreen has got stuck and keeps telling me i'm in spain and that it's 90 degrees. gash.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 9:00, Reply)

Interesting Saturday night.
Went into town to meet a lady for something to eat and a few drinks.

On the way into town, the bus was involved in an accident when a foreign gentleman tried to wrap his brand new Audi Q3 hire car around the bus.

Later that evening, while leaving a bar, we witnessed an assault in the street. The next hour was spent administering first aid, calling an ambulance, finding some nearby coppers and giving them a statement.

I think next weekend I'll maybe just stay in.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:11, Reply)

"witnessing" yeah right

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I'm a lover, not a fighter, Lighty.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:15, Reply)

"lady" yeah right

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:23, Reply)

+ I'm a

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Oh Scotchland :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Sad times Tangles
Apparently the assailant went up to his victim and asked for a fag. The guy said that he didn't have any, then wallop - knocked him spark out. He went down like a sack of spuds and hit his head off the pavement. Claret everywhere.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)

So did you get your fag off someone else then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:18, Reply)

get bum
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:37, Reply)

Should've just given him a fag

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Perhaps. When the poor lad finally got up the first thing he did was have a fag.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:38, Reply)

People are cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:29, Reply)

Morning!
A good weekend had by all. Beat my parkrun time on Saturday, made some excellent Spanish food and smashed a ceiling down
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:12, Reply)

I samshed YM's zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah we all Sam shed

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:19, Reply)

NO SHED CHAT

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:22, Reply)

^ruined my weekend^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:29, Reply)

My shed is being invaded by next-door's honeysuckle
I may do an 'Agent Orange' by night on it - bloody creeping menace of a plant.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:39, Reply)

I'm making room in the garden for another shed
you can never have too many
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:41, Reply)

I too am considering another shed
Hard base as I would like to put some power tools in there (Table saw, pedestal drill and bandsaw) and have a large central bench for woodworking.
Running power to it may be difficult though
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:46, Reply)

yeah, you need a friendly sparky to do a proper job on the power bit
especially if you want more than 13A available. Needs a dedicated spur from the consumer unit with it's own RCD etc and that ain't cheap. Not sure I'll bother as a beer fridge doesn't use that much......
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:54, Reply)

I read that as 'friendly spakky'
The power thing is not really that difficult - won't be running hugely powerful tools - 20a should be plenty. It's just where I would put the shed - I'd like it further down the garden but that causes problems with getting the power to where it's needed.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Morning, I forgot how aggressive recruiters can be, I've had 10 call/text/email me so far, and all I did was put on LinkedIn that I'm back on the market on Friday eve.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:00, Reply)

Alright Cranley?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:06, Reply)

No, he's the drug addict, I'm the alcoholic mate.

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:08, Reply)

congratulations

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Alright Lord Bluename.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Muahahahahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Surely that should be BlueVein

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Hung over.
Sooooo hungover.
Butty on the go though so things are looking up
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:10, Reply)

spare me the sordid details of your sex life, deviant.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:10, Reply)

but... I didn't even have any sex :(

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:12, Reply)

that's why you're here is instead of the inner ring of the seventh circle of hell

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:14, Reply)

of the seventh circle of hell
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:38, Reply)

And that's your problem, low self confidence. That's why you resort to getting bummed by a man. Somewhere out there there's a woman willing to love someone who looks as individual as you.

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:14, Reply)

get a new joke book

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:15, Reply)

mrs. potato head

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:15, Reply)

^^^

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:16, Reply)