why is it so shit on here today? come on, wake up
i have 4 different milka bars for the hordes at work, some salty caramel almond toblerone, some white toblerone, and some chocolate covered almonds. and some decent valor chocolate for the team. but... the oreo milka should be illegal. do you like decent expensive stuff, or are you secretly more of a pleb?

alt: what will scotland do on thu?

altalt: what colour is your toothbrush?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:33, 103 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I jnever buy holiday gifts for work. Why would I?
alt: sink

altalt: white and aqua
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Me neither
If they want sweets, they can go to the fucking shop
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Christ I don't even talk to them if I can avoid it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)

I like shit sweets and I cannot lie
Crappy jellies and suchforth. At the opposite end of the spectrum I love good chocolate

Alt:
Dont give a flying fuck, sorry

AltAlt:
Like YM in bed, blue
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:36, Reply)

I think it's because people post questions like 'What colour is your toothbrush?'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:37, Reply)

ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:40, Reply)

ORANGE AND WHITE HAPPY NOW?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)

very
*wanks*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)

I'm tired of my toothbrush constantly being used for people's online fantasies :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Just shut up and brush, you sexy bitch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)

I'm thinking about it right now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)

it was tongue in cheek
i assumed you wouldn't reply because you live in a smelly yurt and don't do things for the man, like washing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:53, Reply)

There are more natural alternatives

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:57, Reply)

mmm cavities

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:58, Reply)

How much of this chocolate are you going to eat yourself?

Alt: hopefully, go out and vote.

AltAlt: turquoise and white.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:37, Reply)

AltAlt - like your thighs?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)

No, they're somewhere between unbaked dough and corned beef.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Cor

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:42, Reply)

I know, right?
I still can't see why that modelling career has eluded me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:43, Reply)

When someone comes up with bake-at-home corned beef sandwiches, I'm sure you'll be inundated with calls

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I now want a corned beef sandwich

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:49, Reply)

Corned beef, gherkin, red onion and mustard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Pikey.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)

*proffers heather*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Corned beef is rank

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Corned beef and onion toastie = NOM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

^^TGGI

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Pikey corned beef hash with baked beans in it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:54, Reply)

I had never heard of corned beef hash until I went to university and met some northern people
Even then I wasn't sure it was a real thing
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Done properly it can be really nice.
It's a breakfast dish in the States.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:57, Reply)

No

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Its great
like a pikey cottage pie
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:58, Reply)

No.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Fucking Nom
www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/304609/corned-beef-hash-cheap-meal
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:05, Reply)

'corned beef #'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:08, Reply)

No.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

No

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

As Cranley and his schoolmates said back in the day,
"Just say NO"
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:03, Reply)

Does it still come with a little key on the side of the tin?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Yep.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:53, Reply)

1 in 5 of which self destructs, leaving you with the option of pulling it open and severing an arm

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:59, Reply)

Corned beef is awesome
Corned beef and tomato sandwich made with crusty bread - food of the gods
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:53, Reply)

If you'r going to eat mashed up meat
why not just go straight for a nice paté?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:00, Reply)

The bent spastic speaks for me on this issue.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)

I am correct on all important matters

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:00, Reply)

You could model gas masks.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:49, Reply)

I prefer decent beer and original first presses.
But I'll also drink cheaper beer and listen to reissues.

Alt: I think I heard something about them holding a referendum or summat
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:44, Reply)

alt: hopefully realise that Salmond is just another smug git politician milking it for what he can get out of it
promising everything but delivering nothing.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:45, Reply)

there's a little bit more to the issues surrounding independence than that

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:46, Reply)

There really isn't.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:49, Reply)

They're argument is similar to one from peep show many years ago where Jez says " Mark you're just SO Westminster"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:56, Reply)

it was comedy gold watching cameron, clegg and miliband suddenly wake up to the fact that it might happen and rushing up there en masse
at least cameron is pushing for a NO, even though a YES would get rid of 39 labour MPs and make may 2015 much easier for him. miliband cannot bring himself to say, "if you vote NO, it'll help me". the useless wetpants.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:58, Reply)

WETPANTS NUGENT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:59, Reply)

Time will tell
All of the UK needs more regional autonomy, as things are it's London against the rest.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

Well that's the rests fault for being shit isn't it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:57, Reply)

yeah
another fucking 2,000,000 cunts like you rushing down to england when it goes tits up.

i love watching them interview the yes campaign. "och aye, ah've always wanted an independent scotland," croaks yet another 70 year old, who won't be able to contribute a fucking mcpenny to its economy. really really useful.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Funnily enough
I have had numerous FB debates with our local SNP Councillor. His wife and son are both rabid Yes-voters too and frequently chip in with their tartan toss. The son is around 30, never worked a day in his fucking life and his FB profile is full of Dungeons and Dragons bollocks.

I've held my breath so far, but it's only Monday.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:39, Reply)

Yeah, he is
but a yes vote wouldn't make him king for life. They'd be able to vote him out at their first election.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

FFS.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:46, Reply)

grey

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:48, Reply)

In some proper news
I got a £458 tax rebate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I always said HM Revenue and Customs were too harsh on you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:50, Reply)

innit, frere.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Woo!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:51, Reply)

It's some free money.
I'm going to Cornwall this weekend and Lille next so that's the spending money sorted.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:56, Reply)

Could've been a miserable couple of holidays otherwise, eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:57, Reply)

You weren't invited so they would likely be awesome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:07, Reply)

Your choice, but it won't be as much fun without me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Wheels will be well and truly off now then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

I've got a car now. Pint?

( Peej, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:37, Reply)

dinner is on stunned
which is strange, because with a gob that big, you'd think he'd be able to find it with a fork
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:56, Reply)

Awesome.
What are you going to buy me?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:01, Reply)

saucy knickers.
what flavour sauce do you like? imma say curry.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:07, Reply)

Curry sauce knickers, or an Indian bird's used ones

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Saagy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:18, Reply)

Oh, you cunt.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:18, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)

haha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:19, Reply)

I like cheap fruity-type sweets but expensive chocolate
alt: Close but the vote will be no. The only reason I hope it'll be no is for the look on Alex 'smug git' Salmond's face when the result comes in.
Altalt: Handle and head are blue and white, bristles are blue, white and yellow
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Dark chocolate is all I need. Everything else can GTF.
Alt: Vote no

AltAlt: Green and white, you freaking weirdo. Christ, no wonder this place is going down the pan.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:53, Reply)

dark chocolate?
is there anything you aren't wrong about, fisty??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)

Plenty.
I think you're a colossal bell-end, for example. :-p
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)

that was almost quite sweet

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:54, Reply)

\o/
Screen-dumping this for future reference.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 15 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Depends on the nature of the item
Decent expensive stuff should really just be decent stuff irrespective of price i.e. I tend to buy mid range tyres rather than the high end ones and get just as good a drive. But I have bought expensive wine that was shit.

Alt: Get very drunk,

altalt blood flecked (that's a colour innit?)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:53, Reply)

She asked about your toothbrush, not your stools

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:54, Reply)

It counts for both mate

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

Why are you using your toothbrush on your stools?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:04, Reply)

gets them a nice shiney finish
For when I post them to friends and relatives
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:07, Reply)

Never scrimp on tyres or brakes
Mind you, the company pays for them.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:55, Reply)

I've always bought the cheapst tyres available and they've been 100% fine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 11:58, Reply)

so far...

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:00, Reply)

And when/if something does happen can you prove emperically that it was the tyres at fault?
It's more likely it'll be the 8 pints of stella
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:01, Reply)

or Mrs Ape "fixing" the brakes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:03, Reply)

The mid range tyres are just as good nowadays

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:02, Reply)

The cheaper ones are ok but can be short on wet grip
harder rubber gives longer wear times but less wet grip, swings and roundabouts.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:07, Reply)

NO CAR CHAT
TOOTHBRUSH CHAT

are you soft, medium or hard?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:11, Reply)

Always soft :( I think its my age

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:16, Reply)

oral b do some that vibrate when you push them in
that might help
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:23, Reply)

I heard that popular poster MEATSNAKE lies on his back with his mouth open and lets Lemmy peck away bits of food

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)

He takes the same approach to the removal of "clagnuts"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:30, Reply)

he does have a caressing but persistent beak

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:55, Reply)

yer, the ends are expensive though.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:29, Reply)