Christmas holibobs in Cologne
And a meeting at another bank prior to hunting for a nice one bed new build in MK with a "dual aspect" window in the bog.
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:49, 3 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

are you buying with your doris?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Yeah, turns out she's loaded.
*rubs fingers together in best money-grubbing fashion*
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)

i hear wedding bells
I you want me to do the ebst man's speech? I'm goood at speeches
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)

We're a little way away from that, yet
But we rub along pretty well, well enough that I let her meet some of these pricks. It has been noted, however, that it's pointless us both having large sums of money knocking about whilst paying rent, so...
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:55, Reply)

where are you looking? where you are now?
wanna buy my flat?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)

Teddington-ish
Chiswick
Dunno, isn't Barnes where all the pikeys live?
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:59, Reply)

yep absolutely it's rough as hell around there...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:00, Reply)

Been through it. Looked like a war zone.
I locked my doors for realsies.
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)

The weekly farmers market reminds me of a UN aid mission handout

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)

I drove past that shop that purely sells differently infused olive oils
And there was a riot because they'd run out of Croatian chilli and basil extra virgin
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:09, Reply)

dark days in Broken Barnes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)

oi, K Dogg
Don't go to banks for mortgage advice. They only advise on their own products (or from a very small panel of providers). Find an independent adviser, they're the only ones who can access the entire marketplace and genuinely find you the best deal.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:56, Reply)

This is just for early ideas of budgets, nobody's signing anything just yet.
I shall take that on board, though.
( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)

still, an independent adviser will give you the initial meeting at no cost.
They may do the mortgage for a proc fee depending on the amount borrowed. Even if you do need to pay, say, £400 for the advice you'll save that within a year. Not all lenders are listed on comparison sites, and many don't deal directly with borrowers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:00, Reply)

Oh Christ he's off again

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)

this is literally the advice from the 1st page of Moneysavingexpert.com
Are you teh financial equivalent of wikiwarrior chimpy?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:59, Reply)

the fact that you went to moneysavingexpert.com speaks volumes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:01, Reply)

they give soome good solid advice on a number of matters, you shouldn't mock from your hamster stuffed shit tower

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:02, Reply)

genuine lol for hamster stuffed shit tower

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)

stuffed hamster shit tower also works

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)

they give generic guidance
Not advice.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:04, Reply)

well yes, but if you are looking for a first mortgage etc there is good guidance on different products etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:07, Reply)

anybody using 'guidance' to find their first mortgage deserves to get stung on a shit deal
That goes for investment and retirement advice too, especially from banks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:09, Reply)

you are clearly being purposefully thick
at least I hope it's on purpose
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:10, Reply)

you mean people actually need things like variable rate, fixed rate etc explaining?
Christ.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:13, Reply)

uh huh, plus broker options, upfront fees, stamp duty, solicitor costs etc etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:15, Reply)

woah woah slow down, is this advice or guidance?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)

neither

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)

fod

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:17, Reply)

fewer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:21, Reply)

it's "more fewer THAN"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:26, Reply)

Fucking hell, people are thick.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)

i'd rather pay a few pounds extra every month than give pricks like you a salary

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:59, Reply)

Yeah it's three times their combined income.
Can you afford that?
(Mr Udagawa, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:08, Reply)

MMR m8.
Affordability, not salary multiples.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Measles, mumps and rubella?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)

mortgage market review

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Fuck off dozers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:15, Reply)

And they're protected against German measles
edit:pish
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)

And then they lend three times their combined salary even if they have measles.

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:13, Reply)

easier to live in your wife's house gifted to her by her parents I reckon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)

Or buy a mansion in Barnet WITH CASH

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:17, Reply)

That must be everyone's dream.

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:18, Reply)

One you can look in AND out of?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)

One you can look down BOTH directions of my dull provincial backwater side street whilst having a piss :)

( Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)