Evening, OT. Please tell e how to be liked in the real world, I've managed to fuck off the locals. I want my popularity back
I'm rather teary :((
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:07, 81 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Free bar for the next 30 minutes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:15, Reply)

Nah, part of the problem.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:19, Reply)

You can't make people like you, in fact, if you try too hard they will only despise you more.
Hth
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:21, Reply)

I'm not actually doing that.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:27, Reply)

be a massive dick to everybody you meet
the ones who stick around it's worth charming back into a loving lifelong friendship

helps if you're gorgeous and adorable
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:26, Reply)

I am lovely though.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:28, Reply)

this is a good start
call them all wankers then try not to go bankrupt while you schmooze your way back into their hearts
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:30, Reply)

Watch an Al Murray stand up comedy video.
You'll learn everything you need.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:30, Reply)

Comedy genius
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc47Wcso3hU
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:38, Reply)

Remind them you used to be a doctor
Offer the carrot of free drugs and if that doesn't work the stick of untraceable poisoning.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:39, Reply)

But the drugs don't work mate :((

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:40, Reply)

they just make it worse but I know I'll see your face again!

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:42, Reply)

What happened Doc?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:43, Reply)

Just locals being arsey.
I asked not to smoke in the doorway, they got annoyed. I got a few 72s free of a smooth, as a free sample they went mental, only cask... ffs
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:49, Reply)

What's special about the doorway?
Is it very very near the bar area? Could you build a replica doorway in the smoking area?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:50, Reply)

It's offputting, and ends up full of cig ends.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:52, Reply)

I meant
why is it important to the locals to smoke there? Or are they just 'sticking it to the man' in this scenario you.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:53, Reply)

Sorry, they have been since year dot, and it's their thing.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:54, Reply)

Walking into my local pub you have to
run a gauntlet of loud fat cockneys smoking in the doorway. It is very very off-putting.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:57, Reply)

Punch the biggest one.
You'll gain their respect and become their leader.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:05, Reply)

I've never met a cockney more than five foot nothing
they're the last pygmy tribe of Europe
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:07, Reply)

I've never met a cockney
I'm not sure they exist outside of 70s crime TV shows.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:08, Reply)

You slaaaag

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:30, Reply)

It's fucking horrible.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:08, Reply)

They're probably not official cockneys. Just loud and saarf
laaahndonish. I think it's something to do with being in a trade. You have to talk like that otherwise everyone you work with feels alienated and can't connect with you on an emotional level. Like about football an' that.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 22:31, Reply)

They got arsey because you were offering free beer that they didn't have to drink?
Bloody hell.
I'd not worry about it really, in my experience regulars love a moan, but they rarely go elsewhere.
Smoking in the doorway is a big no no though, really off putting for people.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:04, Reply)

I've told them they can go elsewhere,,as you say, they won't. They like to moan tbh, it's like dealing with kids.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:09, Reply)

Exactly.
Also, it's your business now, you're not going to build it by pandering to some grumpy smokers. Always do what's best for the pub. Sometimes you've got to upset people to get on.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:12, Reply)

They're knobs.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:19, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2408778
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:23, Reply)

Or -
wait until there's just one there and storm out and bar them.

Similar but less chance of being punched back.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:32, Reply)

Cowards way out, I like your style

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:38, Reply)

alright, sex offenders

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:58, Reply)

Hello!
Can I put myself out now?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 19:59, Reply)

plz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:01, Reply)

What is gazzing?
Gap in my knowledge.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:02, Reply)

a homosexual sex act

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:05, Reply)

Got it.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:08, Reply)

Private message. Long story. Google it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:06, Reply)

Ah ha!
Not my beeswax. I'll subside.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:06, Reply)

What?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:08, Reply)

Gaz means private message.
Maybe I wasn't clear.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:14, Reply)

Aaah
so gazzing is a private message, not a homosexual sex act. That's saved some embarrassing misunderstandings. I wouldn't want to be soliciting for a gazzing in a public toilet somewhere only for them to pass me a private message. That would be terrible.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 21:00, Reply)

And will someone
please explain who Rob Fathelm is? Google doesn't seem to know.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:06, Reply)

shut up, rob fathelm

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:07, Reply)

I reckon it's Cranley returned pretending to be a newbie

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:09, Reply)

Who's Cranley?
I've been a member for ages, only remembered my password recently.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:10, Reply)

it's clearly a despised regular

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:12, Reply)

Bou? Wombat? Dozer?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:13, Reply)

I am definitely not regular
I am only one account, with a burning desire to know who Rob Fathelm is.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:15, Reply)

He's a former poster of qftw that got old man river, formally shambles,
Banned from qftw.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:16, Reply)

Isn't he the owner?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:18, Reply)

That's rob Manuel.
He's a paedo dog fingerer
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:22, Reply)

formerly

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:20, Reply)

no no ... shambles is the name I use for High Table dinners and meetings with the Queen

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:21, Reply)

quite.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:23, Reply)

Nope.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:21, Reply)

if you meant 'previously' rather than 'when introducing in polite company' then yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:24, Reply)

Fuck off dozer

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:27, Reply)

bit of a formal response m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:27, Reply)

Thank you very much!
Sincerely. I thought it might have been someone who got themselves banned. Well that's my curiosity satisfied.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:22, Reply)

yeah ... course you do, fartbelm
www.b3ta.com/questions/drunkshopping/post2261161
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:21, Reply)

All is explained

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:30, Reply)

everybody digs me, man

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:20, Reply)

slight misunderstanding
we're digging a hole to bury you in
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:22, Reply)

just to the neck

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:24, Reply)

bit bullying m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:24, Reply)

Oh dear
Was he a former poster? Is it none of my business? Am I making myself look like a cunt? I just want to know!
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:09, Reply)

Calm down rob.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 20:13, Reply)