I just shut my hand in the boot of my car and it really hurts
What else is better than reading posts by Dozer?

Alt. I just bought a Barbie Malibu Mansion. Why do you hate your children?
( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 13:53, 129 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I dont hate my children
I simply dislike all children after more than about an hour in their company...

I have been sticking pins into my eyes and that seemed quite a bit better than dozer
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 13:54, Reply)

writing posts by dozer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 13:55, Reply)

This is pretty cool - that comet thinks it's part of the Radiophonic Workshop or summat
www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2014/11/12/4126840.htm
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:01, Reply)

I have a really annoying pain in my right forearm
My sex life is ruined

Alt:
I had a late night visit to pick plastic crap up from Smyths the other night
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:02, Reply)

Its OK Sporters, just use your left hand, then it feels like someone else is doing it

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:03, Reply)

I am left handed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:05, Reply)

Then why is your sex life ruined?

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:07, Reply)

How can I pin her down and push it in with one arm?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Just slap her until she gives in

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:11, Reply)

I sit on my left hand during a wank, and then use it afterwards so it feels like somebody else is making me a sandwich

( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:48, Reply)

Surely you have a real gay dog to provide the crap

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:07, Reply)

He really is rubbish

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:07, Reply)

Alt: I don't hate them, I just find them really annoying.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:03, Reply)

Why?

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:03, Reply)

All the noise they make

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:04, Reply)

And the constant neediness

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:04, Reply)

INORITE
I like to leave b3ta behind when I go home
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:08, Reply)

Why?

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:08, Reply)

You sound just like one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:09, Reply)

Why?

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:13, Reply)

Oh they're such bastards, aren't they

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:15, Reply)

Yes but why?

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:17, Reply)

Shoving my cock in a blender and shotting the results.
alt. I hate all kids.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:07, Reply)

Alt: Savile used to make a similar claim

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:08, Reply)

says the guy with the wispy samurai paedo beard.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:11, Reply)

Now then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:19, Reply)

This lunchtime I finally experienced 'a bag of ready salted tipped into a bowl of tomato soup'.
It was 'alright'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:20, Reply)

I had Kale and Nutmeg soup
It were "ok"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:22, Reply)

NO CRISPS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:23, Reply)

I like to make me own lentil soup.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:24, Reply)

I rather like making soup
I'm going to oven dry the last of the tomato crop for use in a soup
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:28, Reply)

Ian Duncan Smith just called.
He said: "GET A FUCKING JOB YOU LAYABOUT CUNT!!"
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:25, Reply)

I eat it at my desk, in work.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:32, Reply)

Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just that was such an archetypal DSS meal.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:45, Reply)

The most DSS thing i've ever done was when I lost my wallet and started making piccalilli and rice.
My then housemate, disgusted at the notion insisted on buying me food.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:49, Reply)

Pasta and beans

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Smash, mixed with gravy and beans in a large jug...kept me alive for at least a week in hard times

( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:53, Reply)

Sounds delicious!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:54, Reply)

I was going to be all yurty
but then realised that you probably didn't have the spices...

Student house lived on Daal for about 3 weeks at one point got lentils ect huge batch bubbled on hob and made bread to dip in it... must have cost pennies per person. But we did have spices etc to start with
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:00, Reply)

Didnt have nout. £5 a week food budget, £45 a week cannabis habit

( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

The only herb I needed

( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:02, Reply)

One of the lads parents
Supplied him with loads of spices so made cooking easy.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:16, Reply)

Alright 'Neil'
Did Vivian kick rick in the bollocks at any point?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:02, Reply)

smash + corned beef and beans.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

corned beef would have been considered a luxury item

( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:02, Reply)

Phone interview guy wants a face to face.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:41, Reply)

Oh well that's blown it then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:41, Reply)

It was going so well, too :(

( Kroney, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:46, Reply)

Tell him you prefer doggy

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:43, Reply)

haha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:45, Reply)

ZING!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:28, Reply)

Is a Barbie Mansion
Significantly cheaper to buy in your part of the world, compared with a bit of the UK that has proper jobs?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:52, Reply)

No, but you can get the limited edition "Barbie's Tin Mine" playset

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 14:57, Reply)

Rotherham Barbie has
A room above a kebab shop playset. And a wind up taxi that menacingly circles it.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:05, Reply)

No why?

( Peej, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

I keep sneezing with a broken rib
Still better than reading dozers posts
( Glovington, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 15:03, Reply)