I'm older than many b3tans...
So my advice to you is to avoid standard class in the first cheap train of the day from London to Manchester. It's crawling with imbeciles.

Hello, all. How're you today?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:08, 103 replies)

I am well
are you well?

did you have a splendid time last night?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:10, closed)

Good thanks Mr,
and yourself?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:10, closed)

Hello.
I did have rather a good time last night. This is because last night was good.

Ummm... yeah. So.

*holds up pieces of paper with asterisks drawn on 'em*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:12, closed)

What Bash?
.
Photos or it didn't happen....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:13, closed)

you aren't older than me
so respect your elders and all that sort of thing.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:13, closed)

Heehee
I just tried to rub away the apostrophe in your "'em", thinking that it was a speck of dust or summat.

*daft*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:13, closed)

Hello Enzyme
I'm suffering from the "missed the bash" blues, but on the plus side, I've already started to make travel arrangements for the July one.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:21, closed)

Afternoon
I'm just leaving, but thought I'd say hi before I went.

When are you making the pictures go up CHCB?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:23, closed)

@mistaspakkaman
good stuff

I'm looking forward to it, now matter how brief the meetings are

also, if there are people around on the sunday then maybe we could meet for breakfast or something?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:23, closed)

@CHCB
I don't know about always respecting your elders, unless of course you just wanted Enzyme to "Respect" his "Elders" where by "respect" you meant "hump like a randy bison" and "Elders" you meant "my pert bottom".
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:28, closed)

@Al
*laughs so much he covers the whole office in coke*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:28, closed)

@Al
*snorts*

This is the sort of thing Gayer refused to tell us this morning.

Not that we'd any doubt about it, mind.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:29, closed)

@al
grabs rolled up tenner

inhales.

talks even more shit than usual.

nose falls off.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:30, closed)

@Vipros
I recon I could stay around for a Breakfast meet-up too. It would just mean I won't be staying at my friend's place that night as he lives on the other side of Devon.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:33, closed)

well, before we make any concrete plans
we should see if we can get a few people together for it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:34, closed)

thank you for descrivbing my bottom as pert, al
and soon there will be photos. I am gimping them as we speak. Not photos of my bottom though. No. They are for private viewing only.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:46, closed)

Pfffft
Viewing privates.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:48, closed)

Is gimp like Photoshop
in that you can use mask layers....?

*chuckles geekily, in hexadecimal*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:48, closed)

@K2k6
yes I believe it is similar to photoshop, though it's open source, but you can have mulitple floating layer and .....

hang on.

*gets joke*

in case you think I'm thick, I got it straigtaway, but wanted to make my own joke about not getting it.


*sniggers*

not getting it!

*sniggers more*

*views CHCBs Privates*

Ooooooooooooooooo.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 13:58, closed)

why oh why......
is there never a bash in Manchester???
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:01, closed)

Re concrete plans
Just checked the First Great Western ticket site and realised I've still got plenty of time to book my tickets (I think the cheap ones have sold out but I can still get cheap-ish ones).

As for a place to stay, I could stay at the Globe Backpackers Exeter youth-hostel.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:03, closed)

that place has a good reputation
as far as I remember. obviously, living in exeter I've never stayed in a hotel or hostel there...

that one is in a pretty good location too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:04, closed)

Re bash in Manchester
So far, the timetable for future bashes is as follows:

July 26: Exeter
August 23: London
September ??: Southhampton
April 11 2009: Edinburgh

Perhaps we could organize a North of England bash somewhere in the big gap between September and April.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:12, closed)

@spak and vipros
26th July - going to travel down on Saturday, stay overnight and travel back on Sunday. Will arrange travel to encompass breakfast if you're both keen.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)

@clendrix
yeah, that would be good

I'm sure we'll get some other takers too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:20, closed)

Manchester bash
would be fun!!! With a mortgage and a kiddie to pay for I can't afford train fares to London, Exeter et al.

And I don't think the missus would let play out that far from home anyway :(
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:20, closed)

@spikeypickle
You don't need train fares to me! Oh I see, never mind.

Sorry that was a truly crap joke.

I just wanted to join in.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:24, closed)

PHOTOS
are in teh b3ta bash flickr pool
www.flickr.com/groups/b3tabashes/pool/

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:24, closed)

@Spikeypickle.
Why don't you arrange your own bash and put it on the calender. I'll come : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)

I especially like the one
of Bert and MM, and it looks like Bert is wanking his pint.

Also, I am too a geordie you flexible hipped bioethicist abuser, I just don't sound like one.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:28, closed)

wow
kaol looks absolutely nothing like I imagined!

edit: @CHCB: you look a lot less stern than I imagine you. Think it must be the effect of your profile pic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:29, closed)

BGB
Even if i was feeling a little lazy and sorted it for Macclesfield? It's near Manchester :)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:30, closed)

@CHCB
They're rather spluffing spiffing...

EDIT - @al: not only does he look as though he's wanking his pint... he looks as though he's showing an audience how to do it well...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:31, closed)

@al
I don't think it's abuse if he likes it.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:31, closed)

Woo!
Back from my lesson and the photos are up!

Ah, great days!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:33, closed)

@Vipros
It's because I'm not doing my Angry Retard face. I'm actually a very mellow, sweet, gentle soul.

*cries with laughter*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:33, closed)

@Devil
you are the master of excellent facial expressions.

*lets others do puns on 'master' and 'facials'*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:34, closed)

@CHCB
"I'm actually a very mellow, sweet, gentle soul able to disguise the fact that I'm a dangerous loony much better now than I was when my profile pic was taken."
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:34, closed)

*Faints*
Who knew you were all such a handsome bunch. I'm quite looking forward to meeting you all now *leer*
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:35, closed)

Sounds like Enzyme
hit the nail on the head there

so to speak

ummm...fnarr
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:36, closed)

@Enzyme
I knew you wouldn't respect me in the morning.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:37, closed)

It's the classical acting training, see...
And, being pictured with such a bunch of good looking people, I had to make myself stand out! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:38, closed)

@clendrix
I'll be coming up from London either on the Friday or the Saturday. Not sure which yet. I'll be staying for breakfast and leaving in the Afternoon. Weren't you going off to Cornwall first?

Thanks to the way the train ticketing system works, it's possible to get one train on the Paddington line and get the other train on the Waterloo line.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:38, closed)

I felt the photos
of me were a little unflattering, I was slightly scared of Kaol, especially after he did bad things to my mouth.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:39, closed)

I am
suitably impressed. I may even have to come to one of these bashes!
( Kroney, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:39, closed)

@al
stop fishing for compliments! Your photos are perfectly flattering. Why, I especially photoshopped someone else's head on each and every one, just to make sure.

You should've worn a pink hat though.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:40, closed)

@ Kroney
You should! It was a really good night out! B3tards are great people!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:42, closed)

okay
in august I will wear a pink hat.

That'll show you. That'll show you all.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:43, closed)

...
And I'll wear some tights...

Fishnet?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:45, closed)

@chcb
thanks loads for these pics!

@everyone - who knew you were all so gorgeous?

@spak - change of plan, so probably going on saturday lunchtime instead now. will just get a place to stay near the gig.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:45, closed)

look what I made!!!
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/15046

Huurah for Northerners!!!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:45, closed)

Oooh! Pictures!
Aren't we a pretty bunch?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:48, closed)

How about an Irish one?
There seems to be a few Paddies aboard with frequent reference to Dublin and Belfast - any takers? Gaz me.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:50, closed)

Pieces of paper
Had a look at the pic of the pieces of paper. Was there also one for "SPANG!"?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:52, closed)

@spikeypickle
While I'd love to come to a Northern bash someday, its too close to the other two so I won't be able to make it.

Perhaps we could have one in Yorkshire in October. It's conveniently located between London and Edinburgh.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:55, closed)

The bits of paper
were a masterstroke. I almost moved my foot a bit below the table laughing at them.

You all look pretty much as I expected. Except Kaol, and Madam Marlboro, for opposite reasons!

Scarily, (Bel)Gayer looks exactly as I imagined him to. If the pics hadn't been annotated, I'd have picked him out. That worries me.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:55, closed)

@mistaspakkaman
the asterisks were used for that - hold one up on each side of you face and say what you need to say.

@K2k6 - when it comes to masterstrokes, I'm yer man woman auntie.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 14:56, closed)

@mistaspakkaman
4th of October in Derby. There's a bash.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:00, closed)

@CHCB
hur! hur!

masterstrokes

*makes crude reference to masturbation*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:03, closed)

edited for mrspakkaman
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/15046

Now 1st November (hope that suits BGB!)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:03, closed)

@Spikeypickle
I'm very flexible : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:05, closed)

.
@K2k6 re MM and Kaol
My thoughts exactly. We must have the same thought-processes when imagining what others look like.

Kaol I'd immaginjed to be slimmer, without glasses, and without spikey hair. MM I'd immagined to be blonde and slightly taller and with hair down to her shoulders.

@BGB re Derby bash
Is that a QOTW'ers bash? There's toomany strange people signed up. And besides, if I'm going to the Southhampton bash in September, I may not be able to do another one so soon.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:08, closed)

@spikeypickle
Nice one. I'll tentatively sign up for that.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:10, closed)

Funny that
as soon as Gayer walked in I knew it was him.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:10, closed)

@Not a qotwers bash.
But nice people nontheless.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:10, closed)

BGB
I had a flashback to last weeks QOTW and made a little chuckle
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:11, closed)

Ahem
I'm 5'7. I aint no shortarse blonde.

EDIT: And I do have long hair, I just never wear it down.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:11, closed)

Wow,
Kaol looks a lot less like a murderer than I thought he would.

Looks like you all had fun last night.

*weeps*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:13, closed)

* regrets putting up pic in profile *
coz now I'm losing my mysterious air.
But at least I've not yet shown my hair.

EDIT: * Hugs POD *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:14, closed)

We did!
Looking forward to August now... And am sad that I don't think I'll be able to make Exeter. :(

Funnily enough, you were all pretty much as expected... Except Kaol!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:16, closed)

I had a mysterious air once.....
I lost it when I joined B3ta though : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:17, closed)

I too had a mysterious air once...
turns out the Cat had farted.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:22, closed)

Me too
but it was the Mrs that farted.

Only kidding, she would never do that.

*pffft*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:42, closed)

@al
Utter tosh. I could smell your Mrs' anal gases all last night, she practically made the pub cloudy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:45, closed)

Actually that might have been me,
I was rather nervous and I've been practising my fartriloquism.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:55, closed)

Since you mentioned it, wookie
in that photo of us, we look as though we could be a ventriloquist and his puppet.

But I can't tell which one of us is the dummy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 15:58, closed)

May I be the first
to 'shop?


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:05, closed)

Fantastic!
*horns*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:07, closed)

If you want to start an act, I'll need a bit of training.
I doubt I could take more than two fingers at the moment.

Do you have big knuckles?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:07, closed)

Enzyme
looks a lot better and a lot less evil in the flesh
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:07, closed)

I have tiny, girlish hands.
This could be the first time it's ever been a good thing.

Excuse me while I fetch the lube, and you can start practising saying things like 'gottle of geer' and 'I like gumming goys in their gutts'

@MM he sure does, I found him to be a most friendly, amiable chap.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:10, closed)

you
fuckers.

Absolute fuckers.

Delete immediately or I shall be forced to impersonate Auntie Sandra and deliver a hell of an ass-kicking.

I said NOW!

Oh, and don't forget, I can also use photoshop...
*threats*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:11, closed)

@chcb
But my Aunite Sandra's a lovely lady, she'd never hurt a fly.

'shop away!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:12, closed)

I'm needing glasses
or perhaps some sort of brain therapy. Bert wrote about Enzyme:

"I found him to be a most friendly, amiable chap."

I read the 'most' as 'moist'.

Nice pic, by the way, spakka!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:14, closed)

anyway
that's not me in that photo, that's Auntie Sandra. And why am I is Auntie Sandra still wearing a camping table and mosquito net ensemble?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:14, closed)

Because it's sexeh.
Seriously, I'd do you in that veil and camping table any day.

:D
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:18, closed)

We can do that trick where the dummy drinks pint after pint and the ventriloquist blathers away the whole time.
Have I got that the right way around?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:18, closed)

@wookie
Who cares? As long as you're on my knee, you can do anything you want.

...and I really do mean ANYTHING

*winks*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:20, closed)

@Bert
it's the closest I'll ever get to a wedding dress and a wedding night, so yeah, sign me up.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:20, closed)

@chcb
Ahhhh.......!

If you ever change your mind, can I wear a hat to your wedding?

You've got to wear the veil and camping equipment though, I don't find you attractive at all without them. :D
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:23, closed)

OI! SPAKKA!
Just: OI!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:26, closed)

*blushes*
*loses bowel control*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:28, closed)

@wgw
How did you know that's what I'm into?!

*excremefellates*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:29, closed)

* Looks at distant object *
.
* whistles *

* grows immaginary halo on head *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:33, closed)

oh Bert,
I didn't know, but I'd hoped.

*swoons*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:34, closed)

*croons*
... we'll stop into a quiet little place or two,
then I'll go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like DEFECATE IN MY MOUTH, BITCH.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:37, closed)

@Bert
Pffft!

@spakka
That is just frickin ace! I can't believe how sexy Berts Aunty Sandra looks in that photo. And I didnt even realise she was at the bash!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:39, closed)

@al
Don't be perving over my auntie, she and I are practically married now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 16:41, closed)

@ K2k6
That's not what I normally look like...

I hope. If it's what everyone thought I looked like last night then I must've looked like a goon. :(
(Belgaer is, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 17:21, closed)

I've just realised what day it is, and the time
it's no wonder it's so bloody quiet.

RIGHT, I'm off home, cheerio b3ta!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 17:36, closed)

Evening all!
I've just got back home. Well, I've been back an hour or so.

Splendid evening on Thursday, brilliant bunch of people, nice venue (I had a bit of a wobble about it after some bad reviews started going up about it)... Can't wait until August!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jun 2008, 19:02, closed)

Evening all
Kaol, you owe me a fiver as I forgot to write down your phone number, so when I turned up at 8:15 and didn't recognise anyone I had to trek it to starbucks and use their extortionate wifi for 2 seconds to get onto here to read your gaz. Also why was I left out of the face rape? *cries*

*gets over it*

It was lovely meeting everyone last night and I had a thoroughly good time. I recall jumping up and down on a chair at kicking out time with Bert for some reason and getting stern looks from the bouncer - who fucking ID'd me going in - so not surprising really.

MM and GMF are beautiful pixie ladies who I want to trap and keep in my pocket and I'm sorry I didn't get to speak to them more.

Ancrenne...LEGEND.

Belgaer, you're exactly how I thought you'd be.

DIT, Davros and Bill are lovely fluffy men

Bert and Al, sorry for the face licking, but I'm sure you loved it really.

Oh and yeah I am prohibited by law from kicking the shit out of annoying people as I have black belt status in kickboxing.

I was back in Covent Garden this afternoon as I had my rescheduled date with the Italian guy from Wednesday when I went out and got slaughtered with the guys at work. Imagine the most boring, self opinionated boring wanker you can and then multiply it by a gazillion and you have my date for the afternoon. Hence I'm back on here this evening licking my wounds and swearing off internet dating for a while.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 19:31, closed)

.
.
Chat continues here
.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 20 Jun 2008, 21:33, closed)