poetry
whilst we're quoting other people, a bit of culture:

WHEN I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
‘Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;

Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.’
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
‘The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
’Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.’

And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.
( rachelswipe why am i still at work? it's fucking friday night!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:49, closed)

hur hur
you said bosom!
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:54, closed)

Oh come on now, al.
You've just ruined a perfectly sensible post.

*gives pearls to R'swipes bosom*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:58, closed)

Sorry Bert

Sorry R'swipes bosom.
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:00, closed)

honestly, boys
is there nothing you can't bring down to your own smutty level?

Tut, tut.

*sniggers anyway*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:01, closed)

Hi Rachelswipe.
Who knew you were so cultured : )
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:01, closed)

i tried
but i've still ended up with a pearl necklace...
( rachelswipe why am i still at work? it's fucking friday night!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:01, closed)

You two...
Stop it! I had to take al to task yesterday regarding his moist milky breasts comment...

*EDIT* that was directed at al and bert, not the lovely BGB and rachelswipe...
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:02, closed)

@DG ^
Yes, but I bet at least one of you thoroughly enjoyed it!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:03, closed)

^ *Whistles*
*Looks innocent*

Actually the first bit's a lie - I can't whistle.
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:07, closed)

I
cant wink, its heartbreaking
(Halfy No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:09, closed)

Sorry
for lowering the tone.

But at least Ms Swipe only got a pearl necklace and not a, errrrr, well whatever the scatological equivalent of a pearl necklace is.
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:10, closed)

@ Halfy
I had to read that twice!

I thought you were trying to compete with al and bert.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:10, closed)

@D's G & Halfy
But...but...but... how do people know when you're appreciating their physique in public?

*winks*

*whistles*

@al a brown necklace mebbe?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:11, closed)

A malteser necklace
if you're particularly skilled and spherical in your output.
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:12, closed)

@clendrix
I have seven rabbits, purely for that reason.
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:13, closed)

We should all be more like rabbits
*sighs*
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:14, closed)

@clendrix
I have big ears, and regularly poop outdoors, if that helps?

Nyah, what's up Doc?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:15, closed)

Bert
Following last week's bash, I now dry-hump their legs as a sign of my appreciation...

Whistling is so 20th century.
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:15, closed)

*acts like a rabbit*

*wipes mess off bert*

My girlfriend can't wink.

Hang on......

Trevor is that you?
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:16, closed)

Rabbits?
Is there nothing more satisfying than crunching those fuckers in your car?

*thump*
*looks in rear-view mirror*
*grins*
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:16, closed)

D's G
I see, but I'll never understand these new-fangled courtship techniques, I'm far too old-fashioned.

RIGHT, who's up for a bit of fisting?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:16, closed)

I hit
a rabbit the other day.

It made me really sad as it was only a little one.
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)

*Waves hand in air eagerly*
Oh..
.
Sorry, I thought you said fishing...
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)

Kaol
tortoises are much crunchier...
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:19, closed)

Oh...
See, I think of myself as a force of Nature when I'm driving.
If I kill something, then I'm putting Darwinism into action.

Tortoises aren't generally on roads in rural Essex...
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:20, closed)

@D's G
Yeah, I'm fishing for a fisting.

Want one?

*knuckles up*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:20, closed)

Errrrrr...
I'm slightly scared now.
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:21, closed)

Don't be afraid,
I'll go easy on you.

*up to the elbows*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:22, closed)

@Bert
Sometimes I worry about you. *furrows brow*
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:22, closed)

Well that was an eye opener...
In more ways than one.

*looks for inflateable cushion*
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:23, closed)

@BGB
I'm in a really weird mood. I don't know if I've had too much sugar, or not enough, but I'm bouncing all over the place today.
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:23, closed)

Bert
you must have looked like James Heriott. Did you pull anything interesting out?
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:24, closed)

A rabbit?
*stamps*
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:26, closed)

Well the wonderful things about Berts...
Is that your the only one : )
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:26, closed)

@clendrix
I found Shergar, Lord Lucan and the Russian Royal Family's skeletons up there!
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:26, closed)

@BGB
Only one of me, you say?

DUN-DUN-DUNNNN!
(Because Everyone Relishes Turd it's not like I slept with your granddaughter, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:27, closed)

Nah! your like Tigger.
Bouncing around


but the wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is that your the only one.
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:28, closed)

This is true
there may be three of us, but there can be only one.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:30, closed)

christ
i try to give you lot a bit of english culture and look at you!

beyond salvage, every one of you........




thank goodness.
( rachelswipe why am i still at work? it's fucking friday night!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:34, closed)

Oh dear
we appear to have multiple berts. That cannot possibly be a good thing. Surely.

*locks doors and windows*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:34, closed)

Omg!
Their everywhere.

Beware the Bert epidemic.
( big-girl's-blouse wants a spanging pan for christmas, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:35, closed)

@rachelswipe
no one can say you didn't try.

Now go and lock the doors and windows before any more berts get in!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:37, closed)

It's alright, calm down
we're all just parts of the same whole.


Pfft. I said hole.
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:37, closed)

good lord
what an extraordinary thread
(Kroney is having a night of hell, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:39, closed)

Sadly
it seems normal to me.
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:40, closed)

@Kroney
You gets out what you puts in.

*gets out*
*puts in*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:41, closed)

Who Needs BertAlKaol
When you've got BertBertBert?
( mistaspakkaman - think of it as an extended vacation!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:41, closed)

*gets involved in a four way Berty shag-fest*

Woooooo!
( althegeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:41, closed)

Well, for what it's worth
I liked the poem quite a bit.
(The Resident Loon is currently a starving artist, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:41, closed)

gimme a B
gimme an E
gimme an R
gimme a T

now run like hell before he splits his personality again
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:42, closed)

@TRL
so did I, it actually moved me a little. Then al ruined it.

@TWW The three of us could do terrible, unspeakable things to a lady. Who's up for a bit of water-tight Bertie-Bert-Berting?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:44, closed)

I'm scared...
Very scared.
*hopes that Burt doesn't get his terrible revenge*
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)

@TRL
"a shropshire lad" is one of my favourite poetry collections. i know that sounds wanky, but i did english at uni and now i'm a lawyer and i don't often get chance to read that sort of stuff any more!

my grandma always quotes it at me, esp: "and of my three score years and ten, twenty will not come again."

she's 83, but whatever.
( rachelswipe why am i still at work? it's fucking friday night!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)

Kaol
I suspect he will - I suggest you sew up all your holes immediately.
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:47, closed)

Sew?
Nah...

*clenches everything*
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:48, closed)

@Kaol
Thanks, I like it tight.

*Evil Twin pins you down, inserts into anus*
*SensibleBert disapproves but inserts into mouth*
*I take your front bottom*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:50, closed)

The hell of it is
everyone has to go through that initial heartbreak, don't they? All of us have to fall in love hard once, get out heart broken, then let it heal up and learn caution. Just as we need to touch a hot stove once when we're young to teach us caution in regards to hot things.

Me, I had a recurrence of that about six years ago, and felt like an absolute idiot for ages after. Still do, in fact.
(The Resident Loon is currently a starving artist, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:50, closed)

@TRL
While I'm not as wise, or as intelligent, or as old as many of the B3tans, I know what it's like to go through that.
I was absolutely, utterly and totally destroyed a few years ago, and I'm only just recovering now.

Life can be a bitch.
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:52, closed)

*sighs in relief*
I'm so glad I had that clone made.
So very glad.

*runs away*
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:53, closed)

TRL
never feel like an idiot for that! Never!

Kaol - I did try to warn you...clone indeed!
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:53, closed)

well
reading it today, housman sounds appalling hearty, all "hail fellow well met" and "lads and lasses". but there's some truly beautiful stuff in there. my own favourite is this one, so bittersweet and self-pitying and nostalgic:

Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?
That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
( rachelswipe why am i still at work? it's fucking friday night!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)

*applauds*
(Jam Mister Geordie wants to build bridges, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:55, closed)

@ Davros' Granddad
Yeah - I know Bodega but not the Crown Posada.

I guess I was more talking about the slightly-niche class of pubs which:

a) Sell good ales
b) Are quiet enough to chat in
c) Attract a lively/slightly younger crowd.

Anyway, this is all academic since I haven't lived there properly for about 10 years.

Cheers for the info though - I will definitely give them both another shot the next time I'm back up north.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:59, closed)

Clendrix
You think you met the real Kaol-based overlord yesterday?
That was Clone#027.
He's a bit broken.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 14:59, closed)

Kaol
I wondered why he was so nice!

*runs away*
( clendrix has norks, but they belong to Al, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 15:00, closed)

New bash
Another one is being organised.
( mistaspakkaman - think of it as an extended vacation!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 15:01, closed)

Yeah...
Sorry about that...
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 15:02, closed)

Shippy
Crown Posada is down near the Quayside, just up from the Side Gallery.

Also the Forth has a good crowd in, but it does get a bit loud musically. But it's good music, mostly. Always a younger crowd though.

I like the Red House on the Quayside as well, and the Head of Steam.

Oh, and the Bridge (next to, er, the High level Bridge), and the Cluny.
( Davros' Granddad is unflappable, unlike his coat., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 15:12, closed)

Newcastle
Quite fond of the Head of Steam when I'm back myself.

And I am a massive fan of the Forth Hotel, have been since I first went there in 1998. Met a lovely young doctor lady last time I was there too. :)
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 16:13, closed)

.
.
Chat continues here
.
( mistaspakkaman - think of it as an extended vacation!, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 16:52, closed)

There is
so very much wrongness in this thread.

*curses being at work so couldn't join in with wrongness*
( beckyjsbx FAH Q, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 20:39, closed)