Duffers
Was a maths teacher at my old school. Well into his fifties, wore a lot of threadbare tweed, had wild white hair and awful breath.

Duffers lacked the required social skills to be able to handle a brief conversation at a Tesco’s till, let alone the craft to boss 30, unruly, 15 year-old scrotes.

This story concerns one double maths lesson on a hot summer’s afternoon. Duffers had been busy writing on the blackboard throughout the class, all the while entertaining us with his poor attempts at teaching trigonometry. His back to the class throughout most of his diatribe - members of the congregation had been peppering his jacket with carefully-targeted spit balls of chewed-up paper. So much so that his back looked like a Joey Deacon-inspired Blue Peter creation.

This went without incident until someone missed and the small, soggy mess whistled past Duffers’ ear and made a satisfying ‘splot’ noise on the blackboard. Time stood still for about 10 seconds before Duffers started to convulse violently, hands trebling and head shaking like a shitting dog.

He then slowly spun around on the spot and uttered some immortal words, all the while spit spewing from his gritted teeth: “If I ever found out who did that… I’LL MURDER THEM!”

The shock lasted for about five seconds, before the majority of the class responded by repeating the line back to him. His anger deflated, Duffers ran out of the class a quivering mess.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 16:08, 3 replies)

No, LAST week's question was 'Twatty mates'.
You cunt.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 26 Sep 2013, 16:20, closed)

Thanks
CUNT
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 16:34, closed)

Head shaking like a shitting dog.
office lol, thanks.
( I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 23:00, closed)