My sex misconceptionsFreddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
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chthonic, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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I blame CosmopolitanAnd similar publications (you know, must have 'Amazing Sex Tips','Red Hot Sex Tips','You'll be gushing like a fountain' on the front cover alongside 'You look fat', 'You've got cellulite now kill yourself', and 'aren't men superficial bastards with only one thing on their minds'.
According to them:
1. You have at least as much sex after marriage as before.
2. You have at least as much sex after five years of marriage.
3. During pregnancy? Rut-heaven.
4. After children? At it like rabbits who've been at the Spanish Fly.
And it can be combined with twin careers, a hectic social life, and becoming President of the Known Galaxy.
Cosmo-gits.
*smashes head into wall a few times*
(, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 16:25, 8 replies)
Well...I have no knowledge of being married.
But I read your title as "I Blame Constipation".
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Cawl, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 16:41,
closed)
At least in the good old daysthey taught you how to knit your own orgasm.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 17:12,
closed)
No ChickenladyYou want Women's Own for that.
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Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 28 Sep 2008, 17:43,
closed)
The most depressing parable I ever heard.A mate told me this: On your honeymoon, get a jar. Every time you have sex, put in a penny. After the first year, take one out.
The jar will never be empty.
He wasn't wrong.
(, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 19:24, closed)
So...you had sex twice on your honeymoon?
(, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 21:15, closed)
Once in a Cosmo I bought to read on a long train journey...There was a spread about how you should love your body as it is, appreciate who you are no matter what weight and that men will love you for your confidence and beauty.
Or something to that affect.
Over the page was an advert about makeup and a tip page on "How to Lose 100 Million Stone in a Week!".
I haven't stopped giggling about it since. =p
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vix0r was not Matthew on, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 21:22,
closed)
Ohthere's plenty of sex to be had after having children. The secret is to not have children with the person you're having sex with.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 0:45,
closed)
in fritzl landyou just have sex with the children as well, solves all kinds of dilemmas
and introduces a few more
(, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 12:41, closed)
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