I have a recipe I call "Five Surprise Chicken"
It doesn't contain any chicken, for one thing.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 9:41, 17 replies)

This reads like a prelude to an abduction.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 9:56, closed)

To be fair, though, most things do.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 10:00, closed)

I have cable ties and gaffer tape in the boot of my car if you want to look

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 10:01, closed)

No puppies = no deal

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 10:11, closed)

I actually did that
the first time I met/cooked for my then GF's Dad.

He came to visit, my gf was slightly nervous, as her Dad was a bit of a tougharse and she was hoping he would behave himself.

When she asked what I was going to cook, I said 'Chicken surprise'. She was banned from the kitchen, her Dad duly turned up, and sat chatting with her while I finished the grub.

When we sat down to eat, I had done roast beef. He thought it was quite funny, which was a bit of an icebreaker.

Later turns out he was as big a twat as she said he was, but anyway . . .
(username failed moderation, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 10:39, closed)

If you use say, diced turkey breast, sometimes they don't cotton on until you tell them

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 10:59, closed)

My other half once prepared a chicken pie but neglected to add any chicken.
Kids and I got about halfway through before we noticed, remarking only that there was a lot of bacon.

It's laugh a minute round my house - I should keep a blog.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 11:55, closed)

Let me know so I can unsubscribe from it.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:52, closed)

This is actually moderately funny.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 13:49, closed)

That's it, you laugh at my expense.
It won't be so funny when I come round and kick your dog to death.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 16:34, closed)

It would be.
b3ta.com/talk/6952397
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 19:51, closed)

Upset!
On the Internet.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 22:27, closed)

Thick. Everywhere.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 7:55, closed)

thought it was quite funny turned out to be Hindu
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:02, closed)

Vegetarian
would have been less convoluted.
(username failed moderation, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:34, closed)

Haha, because a vegetarian would willingly sit down for what they thought was going to be a chicken dinner, lol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 12:52, closed)

My family has one we call tuna surprise
It's bacon, onion, tomato & pasta.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 18:38, closed)