Swords!
I collect swords, but not just any old swords, propperly made, sharp, functional blades. These are expensive, the most basic around £70, the high end stuff is insanely expensive. The most I ever spent was £130 for a katana with some money I got on my 21st.

These are a waste of money for two reasons:
1. You can but real looking replicas for a fraction of the price.
2. Most of them arn't displayed.

So why do I get them? Am I a vigilante swords man? A tornament fighter? A history enthusiast? Nah, I just fucking love swords. A replica wouldent be the same, I'd never want to use them as real weapons, but having a replica instead of an actual weapon is like having a print instead of a painting, you can't really see a diffrence but it isn't as good.
(Mong goose, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 3:40, 19 replies)

Read up on the dangers first! (NSFW, pretty sweary)
www.channel101.com/shows/view.php?media_id=2084
(pizzaforcat ate some cement and HARDENED the FUCK UP on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 4:36, closed)

That is fucking brilliant.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 7:50, closed)

They'll fuck you up!!!

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 12:44, closed)

Wow! Thanks for letting me know! Although it's to late for a small chunk of my right pinky.

They'll cut a fucking baby in half!
(Mong goose, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 13:42, closed)

Sword tricks;
the number 2 cause of all sword related injuries.
(Kitcar memeless in a meme filled world, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:40, closed)

Brilliant!

( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 13:06, closed)

A few moons ago
I was in the land of the rising sun and though it'd be a good idea to look up and see how much an authentic Katana blade would set me back and if I had the proverbial snowflake's chance in hell of affording it.
I asked around - in itself a feat - and was finally (Tokyo addressing anyone? Non-fucking-existant!) directed to what looked like someone's front room in a Tokyo backstreet. The other half was starting to get a bit sweary at me by now as this was looking more and more like a News Headline by the minute (think "2 Tourists disemboweled in Tokyo Backstreet").

It turns out this is probably the most famous and authentic place to buy a very sharp, 800 year old, strip of metal on the planet. Here they had what has to be the most impressive array of bladed weaponry that I have seen outside of the Tokyo Sword Museum (or The British Museum when the TSM lent them). No price tags, of course.

The very Zen looking old man sitting Lotus in the corner looked up and smiled. I asked (realising by now the answer was going to be a resounding "no") if there was anything I was likely to ever be able to afford while keeping both kidneys and the wife. I also did the international sign of can-I-have-the-bill-please, you know, the finger-pen on paper-hand.

In the best British accent by an oriental gentleman I've ever heard (OK, who wasn't brought up on the UK, you know what I mean) - not a trace of L-R swap or the inability to pronounce certain consonants - he said: "Unlikely, sir."

You see, the cheapest blade he had went for £25,000. The most expensive was more than triple what my house is worth.

I sat there for half an hour talking to him about swords. He was a fantastic chap.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 7:05, closed)

Great story!
Have a click!

As a bloke who's borked somewhere north of two grand on swords over the years, I feel the collective pain here.

May I suggest for future purchases you look at Korea? Same traditional folding methods, comparable quality but significantly less outlay.
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:02, closed)

Yes, but still
It's a bit like getting a Nissan 350Z when you could have a Porche 911. It's just as good, a lot cheaper and nowhere near the same :)

/edit: And thank you.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:30, closed)

I put it to you....
...that the best way forward was to buy the cheapest sword, disembowel him with it, snatch all of the other swords, have a spectacular fight out of the back street. Steal a car, race across town, avoiding the Yakuza mobsters, Japanese government officials and the agents of a shady pan-global corporation that mysteriously appear on the scene, each wanting the swords for their own nefarious purposes.

All of this culminating in a tense stand-off on top of a multi-story car park between yourself and the 3 rival factions. Throw a bag of swords to each group, allow them to fight amongst themselves while you leap aboard a helicopter that appears for no reason, fly to Hollywood... sell the story to a film director and use the profits to buy all of those swords legitimately......

Thats what I would have done anyway.
(The_Mighty_Spleen, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:50, closed)

damn, Damn, DAMN
A golden opportunity WASTED!

DAMN YOU KRAPOTKIN!
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 19:31, closed)

Not, then, a waste of money if you enjoy them?
I'd be in the same boat if I could, inherited a couple of civil war type ones and a sword-stick. Always wanted the real deal folded wise. *Keeps saving*
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 11:26, closed)

It's more a waste from the outside perspective, I can see why people might call it a waste.
(Mong goose, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 12:03, closed)

That sounds cheap to me.
I have a katana "suitable for cutting" and "clay tempered" and it set me back around £200 to £300, I bought the cheapest that looked decent too.
My only worry is I lost my "certified replica" certificate so if the Police raid me I'll likely be arested until I can prove when I bought it.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 18:16, closed)

Didn't they make those illegal?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 5 Oct 2010, 18:40, closed)

They made the replicas illegal, not the weapons. The laws were some what clouds, at first, it was only blades made in japan you could still buy, but now it's ok to buy most blades, and the ban isn't retro active, anything bought before is fine. There's no need for any licence or certification.

Pretty much all that it effects is the cheaply made stainless steel ones.

Also, most outher types of swords are perfectly legal.
(Mong goose, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 21:34, closed)

Pork swords are cheaper.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 20:08, closed)

Oh yes
I must be back at B3ta. :)
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 23:14, closed)

I have a fully functional Paul Chen leaf bladed sword
which will be extremely useful come the zombie apocalypse.

Next I intend to buy a decent side-sword which will be just for fun and in case they ever make duelling legal again.
( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 13:09, closed)