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Gonzo rose clumsily from his nest like a bear drowsy from honey and hibernation.
His head was still heavy from the excesses of the night before and as he walked to the bathroom for his morning ablutions he flinched as a twinge of pain ran the length of his colon...
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:05, archived)
Suddenly he remembered with shame what had taken place.
The evening had started normally; a friendly game of monopoly with Sexface followed by luke-warm beer and left-over Chinese food. Normally the two old friends would chat about webhosting, however, last night had been different.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:07, archived)
Sexface hadn't been his usual undeservedly confident self
he has become angry when Gonzo made a joke about prostitutes in a Park Lane hotel during the course of the game.
The anger turned to melancholy and by the time Gonzo had used his Semitic wiles to fleece Sexface out of his monopoly money Sexface was on the brink of tears.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:09, archived)
"Oh gonz!" cried Sexface
"Why is it I've not had sex with anybody who wasn't a bloated, attention-seeking beanbag in so long?"

Gonzo didn't have an answer but instead took his old pal's hand in his as a gesture of solidarity, after all Gonzo hadn't seen a quim in the best part of 18 years. He remembered with longing the last opportunity and how a tragic combination of genetic incapacity, awkwardness and being drunk had left him forlorn just inches from Lampito's weeping wound.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:11, archived)
Sexface turned to face Gonzo and almost involuntarily kissed his friend on the lips.
There was a pause, which seemed to Gonzo an eternity before the two leapt on each other, tearing at their clothes, desperate to give form to the lust that had lain dormant in their brotherly relationship in a bedsit for so long.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:14, archived)
Sexface quickly took control
and manipulating Gonzo by his Ferenghish ears worked him into a position to mount his ample buttocks.

Like a glistening mini-milk, Sexface's organ pierced the air before being rammed without grace into the object of Sexface's desire, Gonzo's tube.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:15, archived)
I'm not writing any more.

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:16, archived)
ok maybe a bit more.

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, archived)
Gonzo resisted at first as the blinding red-hot agony of Sexface's sin echoed through his cavernous anal canal
but after a few pumps, the cooling liquid relief of his jammy spunk began to bring pleasure.
As abruptly as the disgraceful act has began, it ended.

Now it was Gonzo's turn...
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:25, archived)
"You think you're getting away with that?"
"not by the beard of Moses you aren't" Gonzo exclaimed.

Sexface was groggy and Gonzo quickly brought his wonky face into line with his sweaty crotch.

"It's not kosher, Sexface, but you're going to eat it"
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:27, archived)
I'll pay a female b3tan to sleep with you now just to stop you typing :(

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:29, archived)
I quite like the idea that both you and Gonzo are reading this ae will be spending the rest of the evening giving each other uncomfortable glances over your takeaways tonight.

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:33, archived)
I quite like how you think me and Gonzo sit in the same room all the time but chatting online and eating takeaways

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:41, archived)
Gonzo's pride throbbed like the handbrake of Sexface's Nissan Sunny and it's degloved helmet came to rest against Sexface's nose.
Without waiting for his cue, Sexface began to run his goblin-like tongue up and down Gonzo's length.

Gonzo's shivered with delight and lay back to enjoy his reward for being a fuck-bucket for Sexface's frustrated scrotal contents.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:30, archived)
Sexface took to his task with gusto
gobbling at the smooth, foreskinless squid of a cock presented to him.
He noticed with delight that Gonzo's sack was bald and he caught the faintest whiff of Veet.

"You've been at my consmetics haven't you, you cheeky yid?" whispered Sexface erotically.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:36, archived)
brilliant

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:16, archived)
pure genius

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:18, archived)
hahaha
'Like a glistening mini milk'.
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:18, archived)
I love you and hate you simultaneously

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:21, archived)
Excellent.

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, archived)
I take offence at "undeservedly"

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, archived)
Bravo. Oh how I do love these.
Though I was hoping for an 'endoscopy' reference/metaphor.

I lolled at 'Semetic wiles'
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, archived)
As wormulus sat down in his bu'dwar, he took stock on his life, the meloncony hit him with the full force...
... he saw on the wall, the troffies of his days spent in South Africa hunting wild game, there was the head of a zebra, a knuckle of a gorilla and the brillo pad belonging to a rare tribe. He sighed to himself, sure, he worked hard, building himself up the ranks of a prestidgous law firm in the heart of the city, but what was it all for? He couldn't quite say, couldn't even say if it was worth it. It was then, as the record skipped on his War of the Worlds album, that the idea came to him, a stunt that'll be harroled in the anuals of history, he was going to do this, and he was going to do it right..... [TO BE CONTINUED]
(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:18, archived)
*Sympathy laugh*

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:21, archived)
Shut up Gonzo.

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:24, archived)
A worthy effort there Gonzo

(, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:26, archived)