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In football. We're trying to sign most of France, but bearing no fruit.
How's your pre-season looking?
I am setting myself for disappointment.

That's right. Lovely football.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)
LEAVE MW ALONE :''''''''''''''((((((((((((((((

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:39, archived)

you'll get him banned again, is that what you want? is that what ANY of us want??
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
It's a good job I'm an incredibly popular man who is above all this.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
you're the most pathetic person on here

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)
Can we go ONE of my threads without you having a tantrum?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)
yes i expect so
is there anything in your life except football, being bald and craving attention on here?
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

yes i expect so
is there anything in your life except football, being bald and craving attention on here?

No.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
i mean, facebook fanpage? seriously? they say i'm a needy spastic
jesus christ
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)
lolololololol
Populolololarity!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
lol, yeh
i haven't looked but i fully expect it's awesome and full the best b3ta has to offer
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
Can you not look at it?
I don't want it being on your list of sites you've visited in case you ever end up in court.
Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
no worries

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
The important difference is nobody likes you.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:04, archived)
correction
nobody knows me, on here anyway.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
So ronery and sadry arone!

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
PFFFT.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
Except because it's Mortal Wombat, internet superhero, he looks like this.
www.freedomsphoenix.com/Uploads/Graphics/173-0602091433-Kim_Jong-Il_heart_throb.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)
Has he let off?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)
Kim Jong-Il's farts are so powerful they cause blizzards.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
I think this should go on the popular page so that everyone can laugh at it.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)
i think you should take a long hard look at YOUR life
and stop being an internet dickhole
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
Hahahahaha.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)
or don't you go out much since your life fell apart?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
Please, stop, my sides ache.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)
yeah crying into your ex's knickers all day will do that

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)
How's girlfriend.jpg?
Or the internet job?
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)
great thanks
certainly no-one has fucked girlfriend.jpg up the arse at a lonely bastards convention
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)
Now why are you getting worked up at BraynDedd these days?
He hasn't called you a nonce.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
Note how he has to resort to mentioning things that happened years back that have no bearing on my life.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
But if you have some of her knickers, and as long as there are none of your stains, and plenty of hers....
.... then I'd be quite interested in them.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
As MW pointed out, they're stained with my tears or something.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLRE6c6ntrg
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:29, archived)
Fuck right off.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
It's a good job I'm here.
Nobody would notice him.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
If cr3 stepped him yesterday, which I'm hoping he did,
it was the best 24 hours the board has had in ages.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
I thought he just ran away when internet cr3 brought up the question..
I'm totally out the loop.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)
yeah because everyone half decent has fucked off
leaving the board almost wholley populated by small cocked internet whingemasters who like nothing more than attempted internet bullying. you're all pretty dire. except the ones that aren't, there's a few remaining, thank FUCK.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
I'd love to know why you're still posting then

(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)
it's a laugh

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)
Interesting.....
*strokes beard*
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
get off my beard!

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)
says the man who returns within 20 minutes of his 24-hour stepping
20 minutes! I bet you set an alarm, and when it went off you rushed off to the PC but your Mum said, in her stern voice "YOU SIT RIGHT BACK DOWN THIS MINUTE YOUNG MAN, AND FINISH YOUR SOUP!" and you fucking did, shoulders hunched, slurping it up with eyes constantly flicking towards the clock and arse atwitch like a hundred ants were probing your bumhole, so desperate were you to start a new thread. You sad, miserable wanker.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)
don't give me attitude you live in Poland.

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)
I live on my own, in my own property, in Poland
you're a grown adult sponging off his parents, on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)
you know precisely fuck all about me.
but you're another sad fucker crafting 'witty' replies on a board each night looking for internet validation that you're so funny even desperately pointing out your last comment in the hope of achieving your pathetic nightly goal of getting yet another dry bitchy comment on the popular page whilst you sit in your shack with bits of shite bmw parts strewn across the carpet wishing you could be somewhere else, back in the uk maybe, but can't because you'd be arrested for being a criminally tedious attention seeking fuckwit.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
This is comedy gold.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)
oh fuck off

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:08, archived)
Ooof.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)
Dear god, the irony.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
JMG is bald.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:10, archived)
you're right, I'm completely wrong about you
I'm sure you have a deeply fulfilling job and satisfying personal life that, through hard work and willpower, allows you to put in a solid 16 hours on here every day. I bet your Mum's really proud of you, and your 'tache.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:12, archived)
98.5%

(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)
YES!!!!
CLASSIC INTERNET BULLYING!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
I don't have carpet

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Totally screencapping this in case it mysteriously gets deleted.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:25, archived)

I actually quite like this
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:27, archived)
You are a total fucking prat.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 21:19, archived)
Oh cool, xenophobia.
I think you're now officially Syncubus.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)
Woah there Grrmachine, you just got served a ZINGER TOWER.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
I wish I had someone to make me soup

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:14, archived)
I'm sure MW's mum would get you some.
She'd be so pleased to see he actually has some company for once she'd make a special effort. When you had gone she'd probably keep asking MW when that lovely young man was going to visit again
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:17, archived)
I bet she's the type of homely mum who, when you come in, says
"ooooh, so you're Grrrmachine, little Wombat talks about you sooooo much!" while he's there saying "oh Muuuuu-uuu-uuuum!"
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
Then she overdoes it on the cooking sherry and tries it on. Cue MW walking in at the worst possible moment.
'Oh muuuuum, not again!'
*comedy trombone*
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:20, archived)
I wouldn't mind a quick comedy tromboning off MW's mum

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:28, archived)
We shouldn't bully her, really.
She must be a fucking saint to put up with him.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:30, archived)
Who's bullying?
I just want MW's mum to flick her tongue over my anus whilst rubbing my penis, is that too much to ask?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
._______________________
__________________________)
*BBRRRRRRR----RRRRRRRR----RRRRRRRRARP*
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:33, archived)
Is Grrrmachine going to be MW's new daddy?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
This place gets more inbred every day :(

(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)
Rafa Benitez turns down the Villa job..
They're going to end up with McClaren.. Oh boy..
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)
McClaren just been ruled out of that one

(I helped save b3ta! Ibstock, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
BRYAN ROBSON!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:11, archived)
i saw west ham last wednesday jamrag, not looking good
i reckon if our boys knuckle down then come this season spurs will get it up the arse

www.theonion.com/articles/zombie-corpse-of-scatman-crothers-speaks-out-again,1619/
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)
They're on their arse, Plixis..
You can't beat an egg. ROFFLE.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)
We beat Chelsea like an omelette last month.
I reckon our boys can do your boys up the arse, they'll be spunk in the terraces come next wednesday
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
you beat your dinner up?

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
i'm making this up as I go along, basically, if you use generic homosexual related words in a football context you can sound as if you know what you're talking about
for example

Arsenal spunked all over Wigan
youtu.be/oIvkyFDCU9o

throw in the words 'Season' and 'ref', you're an instant expert

I've been doing this for about a year, no one noticed, much lool
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)
Nice

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)
I noticed. I thought it was great.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)
did you see the Arsenal match?
they proper barebacked the ref while eleven of Man City's finest chucked their much into the linesman's mouth.
AND it was offside.

*sips Stella in a shit pub somewhere*
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)
voulez-moo
spotify:track:6roDcltHtqkI0RiG2AGZKm (Voulez Vous by Erasure)

b-side
spotify:track:4wZOmbYApgoF2zD9IHznDD (Voulez-Vous by Abba)

and then
spotify:track:0f4FdMaOUjxGBZ4djEAgE3 (Sometimes by Erasure)

spotify:track:4LkjC23inzEkWtsJzs5t2v (Get Up - Explicit Version by 50 Cent)
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)
I'm eating cheese on toast

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)
An excellent choice.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)
Reeves and Mortimer are doing a comeback
Glory be
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)
Never liked them in anything other than the original Shooting Stars..
I'll be honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)
I'm a big fan of their early work
The Salvador Dalis of comedy.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)