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Something about manolith's arse and wookiee hole
Lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)
T3h lolz0rz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:18, archived)
Less chat,
more hole.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:40, archived)
OI OI

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:52, archived)
a new thread?
really?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:44, archived)
Right before bedtime, too.
He'll give himself nightmares.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:47, archived)
ban him!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 22:41, archived)
Did you see the simpsons steamed clams thing on links? It looked like your sort of thing
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRsOBFhNjVM&app=desktop
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 22:53, archived)
Haha u legend

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:45, archived)
I might delete this thread.

(, Thu 8 Mar 2018, 7:37, archived)
So sorry to hear about your mother
:(
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:55, archived)
Is that the one where Ben Stiller does a spunk in manolith's hair?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 22:40, archived)
Well that's that, I suppose

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:04, archived)
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun,
But the wine and the song, like the seasons have all gone...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:15, archived)
it's the sex I'll miss

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:20, archived)
all good things must come to an end
which is why this place just keeps going
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:33, archived)
Might freeze it for future scientists, like Disney's head

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:38, archived)
yes! top
www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)
wow, it was pretty tight at the top

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)
that's what she said

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:43, archived)
oo-er missus!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:43, archived)
Over 30 posters, who knew?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:54, archived)
It's users like Pyroleaf who make it worthwhile

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:55, archived)
planearm deserves a medal

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:27, archived)
twat's twat, more like

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)
Will this thread win a wankety-wank chequebook and pen?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:01, archived)

? is
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:28, archived)
I've missed a great forum day

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:11, archived)
translated from German, there is a saying:
"everything has an end only a sausage has two."
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:16, archived)
I'm fairly sure there are other things with two ends
but better to not say this, just look at what happened to the All Lives Matter lot
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:19, archived)
does a drinking straw have one hole or two?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:24, archived)
One.
It's one long hole. This is the stupidest question.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:28, archived)

so how many does this one have?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:39, archived)
Lol, communicable diseases

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:41, archived)
One.
3 entrances. 1 hole
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:34, archived)
when you go out your front door each day, are you going into an infinite hole with infinite entrances?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:37, archived)
any hole's a goal

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:47, archived)
any cave's a rave

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:48, archived)
No. I'm going outside.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:48, archived)
yeah but wouldn't it be functionally the same thing?
how many holes in this ball?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:50, archived)
That's a ball with holes in.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:51, archived)
i'm beginning to suspect that you're not as much of a hole expert as your business card would suggest

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:05, archived)
I'm not sure you're aa stupid as you pretend.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:38, archived)
shh

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:03, archived)
aa

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:16, archived)
real monsters

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:56, archived)
Dunno what that is

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:07, archived)
Are you trying to replace me as official /talk idiot?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:22, archived)
This question to everyone in this subthread.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:23, archived)
Oh I thought most of these accounts were you

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:26, archived)
Alright, dollars.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:45, archived)
i don't have the time to dedicate to it that you do

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:36, archived)
I've worked hard to get where I am.
I suppose it just comes naturally to you.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:46, archived)
A one sided hole is a cave

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:38, archived)
so you can't dig a hole unless it comes out somewhere else

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:40, archived)
That's then a tunnel

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:41, archived)
so you can't dig a hole at all? you can only dig a tunnel or a cave?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:42, archived)
You could argue that any hole is a very small cave.
At which dimensional point does a hole become a cave?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:58, archived)
This one
->ē
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:03, archived)
That's your mum's excuse

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:12, archived)
Any hole's a goal.
Any cave's a grave.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:54, archived)
That russian bloke's daughter y/n

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)
Is she still comatose?
If so, I might be in with a chance.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:47, archived)
I'm so glad the NHS is staffed with people like you

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)
Keeps me off the streets.
That's a win for society.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:05, archived)
Also good incentive for hypochondriacs to just stop it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:08, archived)
I should delete this really

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:50, archived)
This is as good as it gets now, 2H.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)
#holechat

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:04, archived)

www.paulaustinworks.co.uk/includes/images/POLO3-two-holes.png
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:11, archived)
see?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:44, archived)
please

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:12, archived)
Bottom hole get

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 22:52, archived)
I found an old recording I made about 20 years ago!
It's 4 minutes of not-very-well-mixed acid-jazz (why we put the piano higher than the drums and horns is beyond me) but my bass work wasn't bad.

What have you rediscovered that you're strangely proud of?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:50, archived)
Pride is a sin, m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:52, archived)
Looks like we've sold the fridge, and one of the wardrobes
one more wardrobe to go. #Blog
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:54, archived)
set fire to it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:59, archived)
Nah, it's Ikea
it'll stink
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:01, archived)

ikea been used for making cheese
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
No, it's a big gay festival with lots of lycra
and muscly boys and whistles
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)
I thought that was a moustache parade?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)
^here, queer and doesn't want anymore bears

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
let the bears pay the bear tax I pay the homer tax

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
that's the homeowner tax!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
Don't go down to the woods today, then
or Berlin. Berlin is probably more full of bears than the woods, even on the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
franz ferdinand are playing in berlin today

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
Is this the secret agent password?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
nope, i just happen to know

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
There were lots of posters of men in leather, holding hands
In an unrelated matter, I ate a tremendous amount of sausages while I was there
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
That must have been early
by the time I got there the bears on the posters had gone WAY past holding hands - very little left to the imagination.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:12, archived)

h gl

lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
haha!
something about the beatles touring germany in the early days
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
Count me in.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
i'd like to see you say that to a load of lions, ma8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:38, archived)
This is a good story
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Gary_Mathias
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:55, archived)
look at those glasses
maybe he went missing because he was such a fuckin' nerd
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
YEAH

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
YEAH, FUCKIN *NERD*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:16, archived)
people like that make me sick

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:54, archived)
I've been there. Plumas and Yuba. It's pretty wild.
I love the phrase "when the snow melted in June..."
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
you really ought to volunteer this information to the police, m8
just to remove you from their enquiries
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:13, archived)
benny on the loose!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:15, archived)
Elton Johnzzzzzzz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:17, archived)
my Jewish heritage

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:58, archived)
mazel tov!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:01, archived)
My grandad died at Auschwitz.
He fell off a gun turret!!

lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
That is actually true

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
Opa Spunkmayer.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:23, archived)
strikey-g gangnam style

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
sometimes people ask me a car question and I'm not sure of the answer
so I google it and top result is something I wrote on a car forum nearly a decade earlier, which turns out to be the right answer.

It's a fucking stupid niche to be an expert in, but at least its something.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
well, when you're write you're write
that's what i always say
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I have already edited it because I am a ninja

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I thought write looked good

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:08, archived)
That's because all the people who followed your advice are dead
and can't vote down your post or reply saying "ur wrong and i'm ded!"
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:07, archived)
I stand firm on my stance that milk is the best type of brake fluid to use on a track day event.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
I wouldn't say expert if you have to google it
or can't remember it
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
Expert with dementia

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
shh shh, let him have this
he's got nothing else
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
my car wiki is basically my research notes
ain't nobody gonna remember all that shit.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
you're right, it is fucking stupid

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
I learnt it from you m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:13, archived)
*BOOM*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
touché

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:15, archived)
haha, you got him there!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:17, archived)
he won't step to me like that again for QUITE a while

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:28, archived)
I feel sheepish, I won't lie

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:32, archived)

ish tits
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:33, archived)
no ewe

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:41, archived)
I found a bottle of coke in my drawer.
Bit flat.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)
you'll never see the likes of these days again.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:17, archived)
posting just to say I was here

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
my sweaty pelmit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)
jesus, how many times do we need to go through this
IT'S A VALANCE
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
#brianconley

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:28, archived)
The less successful shoegazzzz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:10, archived)
I was stuck behind Kevin Shields at a very odd Death in Vegas show shot for live Japanese TV at 2 in the afternoon one Saturday
The phrase 'chronic BO' has never been so inadequate.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:21, archived)
me, I mean

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:22, archived)
a poem i got published years ago
it was utter shite, but it's the first piece of writing i was ever paid for
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:37, archived)
RIP NME

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:44, archived)
Find out what it means to me

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:45, archived)
:)

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
i used to be a subscriber when i was at uni
didn't even realise it had become a free publication
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
Really?
I didn't know that either
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:51, archived)
yeah, mainly given out in london and to students apparently

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:54, archived)
and what about the NME?
haha this is a joke at your expense
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:56, archived)
oh hahahaha

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:58, archived)
i know, great isn't it!?!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
i don't get it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:05, archived)
yeah, that's what I heard!
man, I'm on fire today
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:05, archived)
POW!!!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:19, archived)
that's just confused things further, if anything

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
Sure...
That's what she said!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
what? when?
why?!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 16:39, archived)
I am laughing in a sneering, conspiratorial way!!!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
my mate used to read it
i always thought it was a bit shit
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
yeah, it was a bit shit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
it's no 'people's friend'

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:05, archived)
I subscribe for the craft project of the week

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
Angela's lentil soup m8
www.thepeoplesfriend.co.uk/2018/03/05/angelas-lentil-soup/
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:09, archived)
angela's a fucking whore
there
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:10, archived)
she's as pure as the driven snow
driven right up your bumhole lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
lol

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:13, archived)
Look & Learn 4 lyf, m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:19, archived)
My feet

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
It's funny because I'm fat

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)

My Sian Lloyd's
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
Paging banned poster

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:16, archived)
too busy wanking himself off thinking about it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:16, archived)
Oh wrong sian

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:17, archived)
oh he really doesn't like it when people make that mistake

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:22, archived)
Damn it, you ALWAYS accidentally leave something behind when you move
www.portsmouth.co.uk/our-region/portsmouth/breaking-hilsea-road-sealed-off-after-suspected-bomb-is-found-1-8405927
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
seems a bit excessive, couldn't you have just left some fish in an airvent or sutin?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)
G'day, shit-wanger's
I do hope you are having a lovely day.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:19, archived)
alright beefybollox
can't
stop
yawning
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:28, archived)
not bad ta m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
I've just found out that my credit rating has gone from 'very poor' to just 'poor' for the first time in several years
Woohoo, go me.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
get in!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)
might celebrate by taking out a 3500% interest payday loan

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:37, archived)
3499 more interesting than this thread

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:42, archived)
get the sniff on credit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:44, archived)
might contact an Albanian loan shark

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:13, archived)
I think my mate's rating is still fucked after he took a massive loan out and fucked off to Thailand

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)

rating post-op fanny
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:43, archived)

till often
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:14, archived)

think confirm
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:31, archived)

r r

lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:33, archived)
lol

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:35, archived)
lol

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:35, archived)
now this is lol

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:36, archived)
lol, "cedit ating"

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)

I prefer to eat my foods in as natural a state as possible but do love cooked dishes as well. All of my dishes are put together with as much organic produce/products as possible as I believe our food should be clean of pesticides and GMOís. I will be making my own creations as well as re-creating, or veganizing, recipes I find appealing. I am no chef but I know what I like, and am learning & expanding all the time. Join me on this lifelong adventure as we learn to eat for health, animal rights (everything is better when its cruelty free) and environmental sustainability. Veganism is liberation, not just for animals, but for all life!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)
what's the vegetarian option?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
an oxo cube stuffed up your bum

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:44, archived)
Cheese omelette.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:02, archived)
Vegan girl on FB
Got yelled at in her work canteen for taking the last vegan meal, despite the girl doing the yelling not being vegan. Next day, shouty girl gets in the queue before her, buys the last vegan meal and proceeds to bin it in front of her. Petty as fuck.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)
I want to work there

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:20, archived)
today's just flying along
dunno how
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:36, archived)
my wife's review went very well indeed

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
well I'm glad you managed to shoehorn your life into yet another completely unrelated comment

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
and hopefully you can afford to buy Paul that pint you owe him now

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
I'll just paypal him a fiver

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
A fiver a pint, outrageous

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:41, archived)
Probably only get you a half, in London.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:06, archived)
£11.50 for two lagers in Gandalf's

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:10, archived)
Fook dat

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:11, archived)
innit, fucking robbery

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:13, archived)
YOU SHALL HAVE HALFS!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:33, archived)
*click*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:34, archived)
*unclick*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:43, archived)
*semi-click*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:45, archived)
*m'ladies*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:51, archived)
DO NOT TAKE ME FOR A RETAILER OF CHEAP DRINKS

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
MY MOUTH IS DRY, YOU FOOLS!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:01, archived)
we were chatting about this the other day, thought you might be interested.
you rude benny
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
I'm only teasing, you massive beaker
Did it compensate for that gender inequality guff regarding her colleague?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:41, archived)
yup, 15% increase in basic
Plus her bonus after tax will be the equivalent to nearly 6 months of my take home pay. Admittedly this says more about my shit job than much else...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:12, archived)
tl;dr gazing into my crystal ball, I forsee a future containing a load of fucking shoe

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:19, archived)
Well, that's nice.
Do husbands normally give their wives an annual appraisal?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:59, archived)
This one does
I've told her that her cleaning game needs upping as a matter of urgency, but other than that, her performance is satisfactory.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)
As least you can pat her on the bottom without HR getting on your case
I ... assume that's okay ...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:29, archived)
let's hope so! she's quite litigious

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
and she'll SUE anyone who says otherwise!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:57, archived)
How is her cheese game?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:09, archived)
strong, brah

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 14:03, archived)
I think we're all forgetting the words of Dr. Robert Schuller
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:47, archived)
take a look up a lady's skirt to see her minge

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 11:51, archived)
Guff the theme tune from Eastenders

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:00, archived)

(the start, not the dum-dum-dum-dumdum-dum bit)
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:00, archived)
Anyone can fall in guff

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)
shit up a coipu

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)
Customer of the morning: Goetze Butcher

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)
nice

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)
Imagine Pat Butcher pulling a goatse
go on, imagine
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:41, archived)
I'm imagining as I type this

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:55, archived)
Mustn't grumble
Unlike some.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:15, archived)
OH STOP FUCKING MOANING FFS

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:18, archived)
I'm pretty joyous actually, off to Prague in a week and a bits time
Which will be nice
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:20, archived)
I want to go to Prague

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:22, archived)
You can come
But you'll have to tidy up your dirtbox
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:25, archived)
no deal

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:29, archived)
In Polish "Szukac" means "to look for"
whereas in Czech it means to give a blowjob. Imagine the hilarity when I drove my shitheap of a car around Prague, telling locals that I'm looking for a mechanic.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:29, archived)
why were you speaking Polish to Czechs?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:30, archived)
because I don't fucking speak Czech, do I
It's a bit like speaking Swedish to a Norwegian.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:32, archived)
Bet you did it whilst getting more and more angry

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)
I did end up beating that car with a bit of tree, tbf

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:02, archived)
it's a bit like shoving your willy up a mallard's turdpipe more like

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:56, archived)
^ the voice of experience

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:00, archived)
for realsies

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:00, archived)
it's just the small matter of the bill
*straightens tie*
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:02, archived)
+ clinton
tie willy
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:13, archived)
*plays sexophone*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:14, archived)
*waffles*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:18, archived)
Asda just emailed me to tell me it's National Pie Week!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:27, archived)
That's good of them
Otherwise, how else would you have found out?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:34, archived)
Maybe someone wearing a gravy and pastry ribbon on their lapel?
#forevainourtarts
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 12:38, archived)
It's going well so far

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 13:08, archived)
morning

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:15, archived)
Good morning grrr

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:32, archived)
alright mongy
got any plans?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:42, archived)
Nope

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:27, archived)
I booked my hotel in Krakow
see you there
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
I'll be the one drunk and miserable

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)
you'll blend in with the other 38m then

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:58, archived)
Hope you're attending a
Spaceman Spiff convention.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:07, archived)
broken link

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:27, archived)
Eh, it worked in the preview.
Think I've fixed it now - it's gone purple, at least.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:31, archived)
stupid kid can't pronounce krakow

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:42, archived)
He's clearly pronouncing it "krakow".

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)
wot a nob

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:53, archived)
G-unit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:49, archived)
dunno what you heard about me

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:57, archived)
poppin' them thangs

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)
Morning peeps

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:52, archived)
*drops binoculars, falls out of tree*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:57, archived)
Morning Bernard Bresslaw.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:18, archived)
Bernard Wroclaw now, get with the times

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:28, archived)
A pole-tergeist.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
Hi

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:02, archived)
pics of moped pls

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)

imgur.com/a/zxtCp
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
I can see why you bought it now

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
No kick start apparently, so you have to pedal up and bump it every time.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)
that's brilliantly shit

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:53, archived)
How I'm going to get parts is anyones guess.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:54, archived)

r n

lol
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:58, archived)
Yeah, that too. I have an oddly shaped bottom.
Like a dragon fruit
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
must be tough
I pitaya
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:07, archived)
My elderly neighbour used to get about on something similar.
Never bothered to get a licence for it, got away with it for years before a policeman told her to stop.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)
hiya
Iím kind. Iím genuine. Iím stubborn as hell.

I have depression. Iím gay. Iíve experienced a lot of pain, but also a lot of joy. Iíll explore both in my blog.

I love the water. I love being outdoors. I love exploring. Exploring ideas, exploring places, exploring feelings. I love meeting new people and making deep connections.

I tend to wander. I rarely move in straight lines.

I donít have a plan for the future, but Iím working on it. Once I have one it will probably evolve anyway. And thatís a good thing.

So thatís me. Thanks for taking the time to visit my site!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)

78.media.tumblr.com/e224daff1d02aa064e084a8770d1c1fa/tumblr_mowxx6a0Mk1stqv9no5_400.gif
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:05, archived)

kind selfish genuine impatient stubborn as hell a little insecure
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:14, archived)

kind. Iím genuine. Iím stubborn as hell.

I have depression. Iím gay. Iíve experienced a lot of pain, but also a lot of joy. Iíll explore both in my blog.

I love the water. I love being outdoors. I love exploring. Exploring ideas, exploring places, exploring feelings. I love meeting new people and making deep connections.

I tend to wander. I rarely move in straight lines.

I donít have a plan for the future, but Iím working on it. Once I have one it will probably evolve anyway. And thatís a good thing.

So thatís me. Thanks for taking the time to visit my site!
a fucking wanker
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:17, archived)
Roads, rails, escalators and lifts must
represent quite a challenge. On the bright side you're safer from crocodiles.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:28, archived)
Alright SexFace

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:07, archived)
good god

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:09, archived)
R U a fish?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)
hiz0rz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:17, archived)

|-|3|_|_0
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:29, archived)

=CHAR(109)&CHAR(111)&CHAR(114)&CHAR(110)&CHAR(105)&CHAR(110)&CHAR(103)
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:21, archived)

=CHAR(112)&CHAR(114)&CHAR(105)&CHAR(99)&CHAR(107)
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:30, archived)

=CHAR(119)&CHAR(097)&CHAR(110)&CHAR(107)&CHAR(101)&CHAR(114)
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:33, archived)

void loop {
Serial.println(=CHAR(112)&CHAR(114)&CHAR(105)&CHAR(99)&CHAR(107));
}
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)
You just broke my excel, thanks

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
cos it's some bastard version of C, soz

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
haha brilliant!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:43, archived)
^ kids tv show presenter

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:46, archived)
the fast show, member

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)
posting on here is like making love to a beautiful woman
I have to use my fingers
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
Paul Whitehouse bought me a pint once
I was in the garden of a pub and he mistakenly included me in a round he was buying. I was skint af at the time so it was very well received. Thanks Paul!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)
No one cares

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:03, archived)
:*(
*I* care, m8
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)
This could well be the 50th time I have posted this, and it doesn't really merit reading even once.
Soz, boarder's
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)
Well *I* enjoyed it

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
you could have bought him one back by now, you leeching ponce

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
coulda woulda shoulda m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:21, archived)
Was he very, very drunk?
Haha, like one of his characters!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)
haha!

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:21, archived)
lol, did he pass you the drink and say "suits you, sir"?
I bet he did, he's a consummate showman.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:37, archived)
were you on your own?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
I was with a bunch of people who were all at one full table so I was perched on the end of the next one
Which was where White-o's m8s were, so presumably this is why he thought I was with his lot.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:38, archived)
I'm sure I remember a sketch where he asked a young lady if he could cum on her tits
didn't seem very bbc-ish
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:03, archived)
that's just your wank fantasy about kathy burke m8

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
I do get aroused when she says she's smoking a faaaaag

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)
"BBC" is a popular term on porn sites.
I often wondered what it was about, but it's starting to make sense.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
^'BMW enthusiast'

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:49, archived)

M B
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
Wednesday, 33 from Luton, enjoys long walks, romantic meals, and banging like a shithouse door in the wind

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)

Luton Cemetery Ridge
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)
morning
This time it's personal.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
your own, PER-SON-AL, MOR-NING

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)
Sorry I'm late

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:29, archived)
you are a period AICMFP

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:30, archived)
no white sofas for me

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:37, archived)
Could be worse.
You could be a colon.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:41, archived)
with a semi

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)
;-)

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)
:?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)
Morning

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:44, archived)
bada bah bah bah
I'm morning it
(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)
will one of you pricks start a new fucking thread already

(, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:49, archived)
Evening cockshits.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 20:45, archived)
mcbeef's poo-spunking helmit

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 20:57, archived)
Just the two worst posters on the whole forum so far.
This thread is not promising.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:07, archived)
That's not a very charitable character assessment m'hééitt't.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:35, archived)
Aw, you and I aren't the worst his forum has to offer, Windy.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:02, archived)
A pox upon the dung of your evening's cockerel.
Jk lol.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:01, archived)
Fucking hell

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:08, archived)
Ask, and you shall receive.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:31, archived)
Evening
Might have an early night
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:13, archived)
Getting better.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:49, archived)
Sup nig

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:39, archived)
Here's one.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:49, archived)
ahoy hoy

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:09, archived)
It's ok I'm here now.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:23, archived)
BOKKO!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:24, archived)
Tim Cap
ello...
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 23:13, archived)
alright, shitcocks?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:04, archived)
yeah
got my bonus and pay rise confirmation today.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:13, archived)
noiss
I've never had a bonus - and I've not had a raise in about four years. Trading is tough so I'm not expecting one anytime soon either.

Still, wife-o's is tomorrow at half ten. Followed either by celebration or a call to lawyers.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)
Yeah, fingers crossed

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)
I don't dare hope tbh

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:21, archived)
I mean, it's not much, and most of it's gone already
but still. Not going to complain about free money
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)
House moving is an expensive game

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:20, archived)
you can say that again

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:24, archived)
House moving is an expensive game

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:27, archived)
brill

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:27, archived)
+o on my willo

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:28, archived)
too sweet

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:35, archived)
This is the best thread today, might try again tomorrow but I'm losing faith in it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:23, archived)
It's got everything
swearing, money, fingers. What's not to like?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:24, archived)
immigrants

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:29, archived)
Fingers eh, thanks for that , bully boy

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:39, archived)
out of order

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)
and shitcunts

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:25, archived)
Inclusive, I like it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:26, archived)
The cream of society.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:26, archived)
coincidentally I just shat on a dog's cock

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:28, archived)
nice one, great isn't it?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)
yeah fine thanks except greg didn't have the pasty i wanted
and you know the woman who works there, yeah? the fat slow one? i think she's related to the fat slow woman with brain cancer who works in asda. you know the one, the one with the black eyes and the funny turban, talks at 0.1mph about having cancer in her brain. her.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:08, archived)
did you read that part about when
in January, on a beach, about 180km from Perth, Australia, the now oldest message in a bottle was discovered?

The message in the bottle is not at all romantic. It simply states when and where the bottle was thrown overboard (32į 49í South, 105į 25í East), the name of the ship, its home port of Elsfleth near Bremen in Germany and details of its voyage. The finder was asked to write the details of where it was found on the back of the message and send it to the German Naval Observatory in Hamburg.

The German experiment of getting ships to drop messages in bottles into the sea lasted from 1864 to 1933. It's thought that the 662 messages recovered were about 9% of those thrown overboard. Before this latest discovery, the last one known to have been found was in 1934.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:15, archived)
That's genuinely interesting

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:18, archived)
I like that they sent the message back to Germany, and put the empty gin bottle in a museum.
More museums should feature rubbish collected from beaches.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:46, archived)
that had better be short for shuttlecocks, mister!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:36, archived)
Yes
Electrician isn't going to be happy, just found his phone in the lecky cupboard
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 18:44, archived)
I hope no-one accidentally fills up the camera memory with anything horrid.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 19:05, archived)
I wouldn't dream of it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 19:17, archived)
He just wanted a pretext to come back off the clock, creepy

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 19:25, archived)
Us electricians are never happy , we were promised the world by this trickery, and get less than pipe monkeys

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 19:24, archived)
I've been having a mahvellous day, dahling.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 19:48, archived)
Britains top health official says we all need to go on a diet.
'Coz we're fat an' that.

What are you having for lunch?

Do we do food threads here?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:27, archived)
Ok, food, nah

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:33, archived)
Whoops. Soz.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:42, archived)
Fish curry fuckers

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:35, archived)
That's some niche grot

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:36, archived)
Puddi puddi puddi puddi giga puddi

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:38, archived)
chicken salad on rye with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:39, archived)
decent.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:43, archived)
it's the complete opposite of tuna on toast

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:16, archived)
indecent

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)
and side pot of jenkem

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:40, archived)
gross

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:43, archived)
Kung Po chicken.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:42, archived)
I had lasagne
which I made with lentil bolognese. It was fucking yummy. I made a meat lasagne last week and it was also delicious but I'm really liking the veggie version.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:43, archived)
Any particular reason for the veggie?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:44, archived)
I'm after eating less meat, but of better quality
bit healthier, bit less environmental impact, I really like lots of veggie food.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:50, archived)
I recommend Richmond sausages

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:56, archived)
Bit of a guilty pleasure, those.
I like a high rusk content in a sausage.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
They remind me of boarding school dinners on a Saturday evening.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)
lol, unloved and unwanted

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
imagine spending tens of thousands of pounds on your child's education
only for it to end up here.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:40, archived)
stranglewank

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)
my opinion of UK diets is a distinct lack of vegetables
my parents, aunts, friends, restaurants, really seem to skimp on the veggies, like they're a waste of platespace or summink.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:49, archived)
As kids, we had veg or salad with absolutely everything.
I still do it now.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:57, archived)
Meat is tasty, carbs fill you up, and chocolate is nice as a treat.
What are vegetables for?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)
They're pretty good at gravitational singularity theorems in the framework of general relativity and the theoretical prediction that black holes emit radiation

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:15, archived)
and they wee and poo in bags lol

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:17, archived)
I likes his robot voice he does

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:19, archived)
lol

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:19, archived)
pretty sure black holes have been observed to emit radiation

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
I observed your nan's hole last christmas, m8
and what it emmited had a half-life of 10 million years
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)
that's not very nice
why are you being so mean?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:58, archived)
seriously my nan is really nice and i'm sure her bumhole is perfectly normal for a ninety-odd year old
you want to have a serious think about punching up and punching down. seriously.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:00, archived)
i mean fucking hell, my nana is lovely. you've badly pissed me off now. enough is enough.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
i hope your nan dies in the next thirty minutes you fucking bastard.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
K monitoring this thread now

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)
I've already reported him to the mods
He'll be banned by the end of the day
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:34, archived)

a i
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:54, archived)
lol

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:03, archived)
What can men do against such reckless hate?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)
they fill up your food pouch so you don't gorge yourself into becoming a fat cunt
seems this theory hasn't worked in the UK
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:17, archived)
you'll have to start eating stones to fill you up, like fucking sea lions or something

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)
I like to fill up on faggots

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)
we know

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
right

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:58, archived)
+ in the cunt

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)
shit thread is shit

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)

Carrot and bacon soup made by the mrs, improved with the fuckton of Tabasco I threw in.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:03, archived)
Tabasco is a desk drawer necessity.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)

^ tggi
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:35, archived)
isn't that from a system of a down song?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:04, archived)
Siu mai

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:04, archived)
which is what?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:21, archived)
the mating call of a litigious brummie

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
lol

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:58, archived)

lol
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:30, archived)
this is your best post in ages

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:40, archived)
56 minute brisk walk and a bowl of lentil and tomato soup
#virtuous
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:39, archived)
alright m8

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:48, archived)
been better tbh

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:04, archived)
bent

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:50, archived)
i'm not fat, i'm slim and sexy as fuck with a perfect bmi and everything.
i've not had lunch but i plan to get a pasty from greg's in a bit, then i'm going to get some chuftwackawacka, then either a takeaway or a nice italian restaurant for some fatty dairy and carby goodness.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:51, archived)
^28 inch waist and own hair

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:13, archived)
heh

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
I was in a meeting and someone had bought a box of Krispy Kreme donuts
they smelled very nice, but I just thought they looked like fried fat and sugar blobs. It was kind of the person to buy them and all, but honestly - they are not nice things.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:16, archived)
My sister always said that the best thing about krispy kremes is that they're just as good the following day
but that's generally because they're already stale by the time you buy them
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:35, archived)
i like the ones with holes in so I can stick my willy through lol

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:37, archived)
Krispy Kum

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:39, archived)
^ provides his own glaze

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:49, archived)
LOL!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:49, archived)

Krispy Quoits?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:53, archived)

A few years ago I worked in an office where most Fridays some prick of a manager would buy a couple of boxes for the whole team, as a questionable 'perk' for keeping wages at low end of stagnant and timing their piss breaks. You should have seen it, it was like a scene from Parks and Rec, like the Second Coming or some shit. All the chubby middle-aged Kathys clucking around, 'ooh doughnuts!' God, that was a depressing work environment..
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:52, archived)
I didn't eat the treat foods
management people would bring out, or the birthday cake because it made me feel like a child. Also I've encountered 2 separate creepy people who used to buy treats for the team but never eat anything themselves. It was probably meant to be kind but it just made me think they might be sitting at home rubbing their nipples to cctv tapes of fat women nomming down on Gregg's yumyums.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:26, archived)
Your mum's fish taco

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:37, archived)
That thread was abysmal
I just found out Motorpsycho did a best-of album last year and it's really good. What's put a smile on your face recently?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:36, archived)
gay things

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:37, archived)
what, involving bottoms and that?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:50, archived)
don't be disgusting, I meant either Ďlight-hearted and carefreeí or Ďbright and showyí

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:00, archived)
"bright and showy" is an interesting way of describing what the Enola Gay did to Hiroshima

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)
It's hard to do jazz hands, with your fingers melting

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:24, archived)
Put the residents off ever buying rubbish synth pop records again?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:30, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/7856611
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:36, archived)
That rare occasion when my eldest gives me a hug without trying to pick my pocket.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:44, archived)
mine's just developed sympathetic responses
but in her simplest toddler style of over-exaggerating, it just feels like she's taking the piss
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:50, archived)
My kids made me birthday cards
The one from the youngest featured a picture of me crying, with a speech bubble that read "I'm 41! I'm having a mid-life crisis!"
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
Haha, it's funny 'cos it's true!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)
There is NO chance of me making it to 82

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)

8 4
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
meh, I've had a good run

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)
You haven't had any kind of run, by the look of it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)


(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:19, archived)

morbotron.com/video/S03E07/4nhCPShyoW2nLYnWNZ3L-REQi5g=.gif
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
So, you're saying I should encourage a young boy to feel my bumhole?
Disgusting.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)
no, i'm saying it's already happening
and you're happy when it doesn't

don't make this weird
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)
I'm glad to be back in my natural state of confusion.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:09, archived)
*Spitting Image latex heads, Rutherford on guitar*

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:13, archived)
The tunnel that goes from the exit from Waterloo bridge to Kingsway
you can get up to about 60mph going through there - it's like Diana's last moments!

Wheeeee!!!!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:46, archived)
wow, 60mph! That's almost fourth gear!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)
I don't go up the dusty end of the rev counter very often.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)
Euphemism?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
Not really. I try to be relaxed most of the time
so I only wind it up every now and again - I'm a clumsy puppy at the best of times!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:28, archived)
I'm not really a smiler
Moving house has definitely improved my overall mood, though. I'm a lot more relaxed than I was.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)
have you got a shed though?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)
Yeah
but I need a bigger one
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8155945
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)
No, this is different
The current shed isn't big enough for the things we want to put in it
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
Get smaller things.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
perfect

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:12, archived)
it really was, sorry boarder's
:(
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
chin up richey
I'm sure there are some revoltingly garish shoes being released this month
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:59, archived)
Tits

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
trying to choose the worst word for tits
not sure if its jubblies or chesticles.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)
Always hated 'puppies'
'Mum-Nuts' isn't so bad, though
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)
did anyone ever use that besides jerry lawler though?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:08, archived)
Good question
I'm actually not sure. Something tells me I've heard it elsewhere, but I can't be certain.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
the answer you're looking for is 'top bollocks'

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)
never heard them called that before
"dirty pillows" isn't particularly appealling either
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)
That shower scene from "Carrie", eh?
Probably classed as "extreme pornography", now.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
I use the expression 'the curse of Eve', because of that film
my wife finds it WELL funny
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)
Menstruation is proper lol!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:25, archived)
No, it's disgusting
Like proper disgusting
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:26, archived)
It really is.
But women just can't help themselves.
Dirty creatures that they are.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
honkers

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)
top bollocks

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)
Are you helping Mr McBeef with his letter to his ex wife?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)
thought I'd try my hand at erotica for beer tokens

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)
"mammary glands" takes all the fun out of things.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:08, archived)
Any made up word
Bazongas, etc
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
all words are made up m8

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)
woah

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)
take that Dr Johnson
ya fat cunt
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)
He who makes a prick of himself gets rid of the pain of being a ledge

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:33, archived)
when a man is tired of bantz, he is tired of Shagaluf, m8

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:46, archived)
oi oi
down it, down it, down it, down it!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:59, archived)
Fucking hell Nine Inch Nails are doing Meltdown!
Shit, I need NEED to get tickets for that.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
I don't

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
Oh my giddy aunt - NIN!!!!
I'm so excited!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)
try to hide it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:16, archived)
Like in Monty Python!!
NIN!!! A SHRUBBERY!!!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:44, archived)
alright Yeti

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:06, archived)
They will be shit, guaranteed

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)
Thanks, when I fail to get a ticket this will console me
you're very kind
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
Your best bet is to invent time travel, and see them at their peak
Now, I suspect, it will be a middle-aged Trent Reznor, a couple of session musicians and a computer
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:25, archived)
All been downhill since the march of the pigs video

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
Saw them years ago, can confirm

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:23, archived)
watching Trent press Play on his laptop will be EPIC!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:16, archived)
When I was at school I knew someone who came away from a NIN gig with half a Korg M1
Fortunately, I didn't really get into them when I was a teenager, but I'd love to see them live. Maybe I could get some free cables if they trash the stage?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:21, archived)
I had a crap tape copy of The Downward Spiral as a teen
and took a journey up to That London just to buy The Fragile. But since he got all loved up and happy NIN's output just doesn't hit the spot any more.

From what I've heard though, co-operating with Trent is phenomenal; he's got an almost savant knowledge of digital tech.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:23, archived)
I'm hoping he'll do one of his old angsty numbers
I would love to sing along with head like a hole...
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:27, archived)
cracking bass line

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
from the YT comments:
"good old days when Trent looked like a broom"
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:43, archived)
SO DO I!!!!!!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:42, archived)
Oh man I wonder if he'll play that Johnny Cash cover!!!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:43, archived)
thoughts of rape and murder

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:30, archived)
alright 'mlwttkk'

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)
Hearing someone describe very saggy and oddly shaped tits as looking like gonzo's nose
Proper giggled at that.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:33, archived)
Weirdest plastic surgery request yet.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:37, archived)
'National Geographic tits'

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:44, archived)
thread's dead, baby

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)
Only 3 days til the new Ministry lp

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
Is this a wind up?
Morning everyon'e.

Tensions are high chez Ricard at the mo. Stress over my ex/kid access (looks like back to court for me), stress over wife's work, stress over my brother, stressity stress stress and I have to be the dude with his shit together for everyone's sake. I am not the dude with his shit together, this can't end well.

On the positive side, I've got an Eddie Hazel LP turning up today and my new Street Sounds shirt is the bee's knees.

BUT HOW R U
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)
^Tracy Beaker

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
My wife was looking at houses in St Albans (better placed for both our jobs), but realised we'd be looking at £2.5k a month in mortgage payments.
#grownupstuff
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:09, archived)
St Albans is not cheap

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)
Briefly looked at renting there when I quit uni.
Prices haven't exactly crashed in the intervening years.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:35, archived)
with all this job interview and bonus chat
I'm reassessing my career options and I'm at a loss.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)
Depending on how tomorrow goes at my wife's work, we're thinking of buying a second rental property

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)
good work ensuring the next generation are unable to get on the property ladder m8

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
you're right, supplying the massive overdemand for rental properties *is* helping society

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:23, archived)
buy something mid-sized and carve it up into smaller flats
London needs more slum housing
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:26, archived)
Might move some slavs into my shed

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:27, archived)
they do love a squat

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)
clickin dis

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:29, archived)
I've been eyeing up our shed with slum landlord urges
it's small, but would easily accommodate half a dozen. They would need to be one of the shorter races, mind you.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)
like, a half marathon, you mean?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
lol

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
one of those nearly killed me, mat8
stick to 5ks
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:16, archived)
I've done the Paris marathon (good)
and the Amsterdam marathon (less good, but still okay)

I do 10k a couple of times a week so a half marathon's not too much hassle.

But I was thinking of putting some Vietnamese in the shed, ideally malnourished and smalls so I can get more in a small space.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:19, archived)
marathons are for legitimately crazy people
i've done 3 halfs and the thought of doing two in a row is bonkers. you're a maniac.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:47, archived)
Yeah, I trained for months
I'm not doing it again - it just takes too much time out of your life, but I'm glad I've done it a couple of times.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:58, archived)
I believe that's a fun-size Snickers
nowadays
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:17, archived)
Yayyyy more stress!

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
Quite

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:27, archived)
Smarties for breakfast m8

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)
eww

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)
Just needed some chocolate

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:16, archived)


(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
banned substance for mastermind contestants

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:22, archived)
I'm having a bad craving for them lately

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
any particular colour?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:25, archived)
Blue and purple

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:43, archived)
I'm here 4 u hun x o x o

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:16, archived)

here gravy
x
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:22, archived)
have a wank

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:20, archived)
Do you want some biscuits?
I will send you a packet if that will cheer you up.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:23, archived)
no thanks m8, I don't eat biscuits or nommy cayke

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:26, archived)
you're all about teh bac0nz though, eh

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)
T3H B4YC0NNNNZ

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:43, archived)
I'm not sending you bacon in the post
that could be anti-muslem
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:45, archived)
r u a [email protected]?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:45, archived)
see?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)
Back to court is no fun.
You'd think a judge or whatever would eventually cotton on to the fact your ex is a loonycycle.

A record turned up for me yesterday that I had forgotten I had ordered, so that was nice.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:30, archived)
your old friends drink and drugs will help you to hold things together

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:02, archived)
"things" does not include your sphincter

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)
yes it does
opiates can cause constipation
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:17, archived)
they never let me down

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:17, archived)
morning

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
Hullo

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:18, archived)
I'm glad it puts a grin on your face m8

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:00, archived)
Good morning
I canít leave the house yet to drive to Manchester because everytime I get in the Car I think I am going to Shit myself and have to run back in for a shit.

Why havenít you left for work yet?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 6:46, archived)
just sat down at my desk
it was a busy commute up the stairs this morning.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:10, archived)
Because unemploled

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:20, archived)
are you bald?
do you live with your mum?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
*Firm handshakes*

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
Because I'm lazy and haven't long been up.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:29, archived)
lol, "long up"

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
I'm already at work.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:36, archived)
Ah. I had a few drinks last night. And it seems I may have bid on an old Batavus moped.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:37, archived)
do you also have a thing for fat girls?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
No? Is there a link I'm missing?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
mopeds and fat girls are both fun to ride
until someone sees you.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:48, archived)
Haha,
I'd never heard of one until I woke up this morning as the winning bidder
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
I've not heard of them either
but a quick google seems like they're a knock-off of some Javas.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:05, archived)
Fuck sake
Well, it'll be a bit of a laugh.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)
how much was it for this dutch shitness?

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:22, archived)
Because I'm worth it.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:36, archived)
I'm so sorry you were born with it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:40, archived)
A willy, you mean?
lol
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)
that's really stretching the definition of willy

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:07, archived)
More like a second 'outie'

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)
Sad face.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:02, archived)
Going to work from home today
You know...for a change
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:56, archived)
I can't seem to find the right place for my desk in my home office
If I place it so I can look out of the window then I get too much screen glare for most of the day, and if I try to reduce the glare then I'm stuck staring at blank walls.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)
The people who used to live here ran their own business
and they built an office area at one end of the house. Job done.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
look mr moneybags here
part of the fareham set now
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
My son told me he's having a fencing lesson today
I don't know where I've moved to, Dollars.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:48, archived)
they'll expect skiing holidays every year soon

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)
fuck
I'll be ruined
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
Tell your kids they have a hereditarry condition that means they are allergic to expensive sports
polo, skiing or golf will cause their thumbs to swell up and stop working.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
alright spanishfly

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)
ah

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)
Glad I think so to

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
I mean "you"

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
cheers

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
Nah it's a brand new person isn't it

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
I guess, I mean a person well versed in IT security wouldn't make it so obvious

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
Morning Jammy_Dodger poster
I am at my desk. What's with the Random capitalisation, Mate?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
Because I'm on my last day of paternity leave because my greedy wife won't share any of her maternity leave.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:34, archived)
being back at work is much better than being at home with a screaming infant

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
He's got other people's screaming infants at work

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
Because I haven't got a job yet
And I have to wait in for the electrician
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)
still no job?
it's almost like you're willfully sabotaging your chances.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
There's fuck all decent right now
Hoping this auditor job comes off next week
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)
This is the worst morning thread this week
who do I complain to?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
The vicar

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
my anus

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:53, archived)
Oi, $$'s bum
this thread is shit!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)
I've started a beakering new one

(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
Evenin'.
Look at this! You couldn't make it up. Straight out of the Monty Python.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:53, archived)
I'm sure I read the exact same story six months ago

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:01, archived)
i wish my life was as exciting as yours

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:13, archived)
Sounds suspiciously like you're accusing the BBC of reporting FAKE NEWS.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:13, archived)
Nah, more like accusing cheese festival organizers of being shit
www.standard.co.uk/news/london/organisers-of-diabolical-cheese-festival-hit-back-as-angry-foodies-demand-refunds-for-worst-event-a3721656.html
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:50, archived)
I thought it was Alex James who was into cheese.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:00, archived)
Vg

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:34, archived)
nice of them to have cheese made by mongers

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:08, archived)
Must be a care in the community scheme or something.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:09, archived)
Blessed are the cheese makers.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:11, archived)
I try my best

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:13, archived)
it's well within your briemit after all

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:05, archived)
I'm not doing cheese puns vlad, you know me better than that

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:20, archived)
You gouda made an effort.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:24, archived)
Edam well does

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:31, archived)
Is this a wind up

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:15, archived)
Did you come here for an argument?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:15, archived)
No really, but I'm not overly busy, go for it, I'll disagree with whatever you fancy

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:17, archived)
oh no you won't!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:22, archived)
Not with that attitude

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:21, archived)
I got offered the job.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:19, archived)
cor! think of all that coin you're going to bring home

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:21, archived)
If I can just rescue the princess from the castle...

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:06, archived)
*some sort of strikey-g attempt to undermine the fact you did alright at something for once*

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:24, archived)
lol kn

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:35, archived)
I think I can accurately describe myself as a "middle management",
which is another way of saying "useless wanker" .
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:08, archived)
Haha, shit on from both directions

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)
Nicely.
It doesn't involve delivering cheese to festivals, does it?
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:26, archived)
Coals to Newcastle.
Should be easy money.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:05, archived)

j kn
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:42, archived)
lol, willy!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:04, archived)
fog, he'

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)
Congratulations.
What job?
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:11, archived)
Contract Manager.
Is there's a more exciting, dynamic, and fulfilling role available, then I'm not qualified to do it.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:37, archived)
Have you considered proofreading

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:40, archived)
Ive connsidered it,

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:01, archived)
I considered are we led it off the road.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)
I did that for a few years.
Turned me into the complete opposite of a grammar Nazi.

Unless I'm being paid for it I don't give a flying fuck about how you misspell or otherwise screw up the English language.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 5:12, archived)
Not clickin that, might be a load of old wank

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:42, archived)
I was bored so I went on one of those sex chat cam rooms I've been hearing so much about. Managed to start a food thread.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:59, archived)
^ sploshing cam whore

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:04, archived)
Had to google that so now I've learned something today, thank you.
Well actually I learned two things, the cam girl's favourite food is mushroom soup.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:08, archived)
We used to troll them on here years ago

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:08, archived)
I wasn't trolling. I even bought some tokens so I could tip her 5 quid to tell me what sort of sandwich she's having later.
She showed me her bumhole too although I didn't ask her too. Would have seemed rude.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:14, archived)
Why are you in possession of tokens?
And www.adultwork.com is still active so you can watch local cam whorez
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:19, archived)
Can't beat this
chaturbate.com/thehungd/
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:24, archived)
Not your cam again , get your hair cut

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:28, archived)
K originally intended to just link to the site but his cam came up and it made me lol.
I apologise if he's got his cock out now.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:28, archived)
Yeah his

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:29, archived)
A mate of mine went on a cam site when we were wasted
and bombarded the model with questions about where she did her shopping.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:15, archived)
I didn't bother to ask that, I don't really know anything about shopping in Estonia.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)
Ask if there is still a warrant out on me

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:23, archived)
Remind me why they don't like you?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:36, archived)
Racist

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)
Me not them

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)
yet more evidence piles up that as a species we deserve to be removed asap
did people really complain about this
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:00, archived)
I mean I am certain I saw loads of cheese in a shop recently, there was like a whole aisle of it, open fridges,
what kind of tool pays twenty two quid to be able to go buy some cheeses, when you can go buy some cheeses without paying an entry fee, in literally thousands of places
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)
genuinely how do they get through their days
without harming themselves accidentally
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:04, archived)
I think of it like st patricks day in Tokyo, utterly ridiculous

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:17, archived)
"But for some of those who paid £22 to get in, there simply weren't enough of those mongers."
Fucksake BBC, we don't call them 'mongers' any more.

Please. It's 'spazmodeacons'.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:06, archived)
alright Mr T

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:12, archived)
Vladz0rz

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)
RIP Trevor Baylis

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)

Į\_(ツ)_/Į
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)
this has to be a wind up

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:45, archived)
^

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:52, archived)
strikethrough making lindup

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:54, archived)
and a mike is there

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:20, archived)
is he some obscure prog guitarist or saink?
surely you're not talking about fucking cricket.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:46, archived)
Did he make hair dryers?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:48, archived)
Or did hair dryers make him?
aaaaaah
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
Is he a hairstyle?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
well that's an odd thing to say, garidead

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:14, archived)
NO, HE'S A LONDONER

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:41, archived)
Shakes stuff

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:26, archived)
AIDS related, apparently

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:52, archived)
or Obonobo's disease as he called it

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)
After the biscuit?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
o'bonobo's is a jungle themed bar in dublin, ma8e

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)
he may have licked the toilet seats when he was there

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:24, archived)
we can never rule it out

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:29, archived)
I had one of the first radios, it was shit , rip

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)
I had a wind up torch of his
that was fucking dogshit
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)
fuck him
useless prick
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
I'm so angry I could shit

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke?
Your Mum can't take a joke!!!!!!

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:09, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:11, archived)
haha that's quite good

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:13, archived)
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face!

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
ok, turn off the internet
This is the stuff right here!
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:18, archived)
It spawned endless other wind up devices
that were shite.

RIP
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:57, archived)
oh HIM

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:46, archived)
Wow, looks like I've won a new car!
Dear BMW Enthusiast,

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a prize of a brand new 2016 Model BMW 7 Series Car and a Check of $500,000.00usd from international programs was

held DEC 29th of this first section of 2017 in the New Iberial Louisiana, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Model: BMW 7Series
Mileage: 5
Transmission: Automatic 6 Speed

Contact him by please providing him with your secret pin code X7PWYZ2005 and your Reference Number BMW: 2551256003/23. You are also advised to provide him with the

under listed information as soon as possible:


1.Name in full.
2.Address.
3.Nationality.
4.Nearest Airport.
5 Phone/Fax
6.Present Country.
7.Email .

===============================================================
Please you are to provide him with the above listed details as soon as possible so he can begin with the processing of your prize winnings.

Note: Do disregard any email as this is a PROMO BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT that was held DEC 29th 2017.
...

Congratulations once again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Marta Wegrzynek
THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS
BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:49, archived)
*types "driving gloves" in ebay search*

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:50, archived)
congrats, mate!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:52, archived)
Amazingly, I've had another email saying I've won another BMW!
but, weridly, the sender seems to be "MR. X"

All very mysterious, but exciting.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:01, archived)
wow, you're having a good day!
U shud do the lotery lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:03, archived)
lol 'BMW enthusiast'
They got your number eh m8 eh eh eh eh
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:53, archived)
*fans flustered forehead*
I ... I don't know what to say!
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:00, archived)
hurr hurr hurr

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:10, archived)
Trevor Gay-Piss MORE LIKE!!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:55, archived)
hey
I'll let it slide this time
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:15, archived)
Is this a wind up?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:29, archived)
in your own time m8

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:34, archived)
there's a timing concern

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:40, archived)
:(((((

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:15, archived)
Greetings, Elder One.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:09, archived)
Are you turning my handle to charge a dynamo

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:35, archived)
are you radio rental?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:09, archived)
hi guy's
How r u 2day lol

My boss is in the Caribbean, which I pronouce 'CaRIBbean' because I am a fucking nobber.

I've had four deliveries of stuff today, I'm well pleased I came to work. Got any shipments due?
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:59, archived)
A record, a t shirt, a pair of Pumas for my wife and a Motorhead pint glass courtesy of banned poster Dozer 4eva in r sharts

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:00, archived)

MŲtŲrhŽšd, more like
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:12, archived)
Bloater fed, more like

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:14, archived)
Snails are rubbish at hide and seek

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:28, archived)
99994 ..... 99995 .... 99996 .... 99997 .... 99998 ... 99999 ....
10000 HERE I COME READY OR NOT!
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:13, archived)
That's bad counting.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 23:47, archived)
I'm just about to drop a shipment as it goes
just had an order from someone called Quim, I had no idea Quim was a first name
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:02, archived)
Yeah u do, it's ur first name lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:03, archived)
lol ur right lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:04, archived)
I no lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:04, archived)
lol wot u like lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:08, archived)
Is he a eskimo lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:04, archived)
lol dunno lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:08, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:11, archived)
Ian.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:03, archived)
Ben.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:08, archived)
a nice man might bring me some marijuana
which i pronounce 'mariHWAna' because i am a fucking nobber
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:09, archived)
In my head, I pronounce fishes as faeces because i am a fucking nobber

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:10, archived)
Marry jew anna

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:10, archived)
<s> Give me hope

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:17, archived)
Cuba I calls Coo-bah
just like the locals
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:11, archived)
I pronounce it 'moribund FLEBsite'

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:13, archived)
yeah right

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)
Tesco bloke should be here any minute
I pronounce it Tescos even though there's no s at the end.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:18, archived)
to rhyme with lesbos?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:20, archived)
that's the standard polish pronunciation

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:27, archived)
wait, grrry's gonna feature on the new queen latifah album?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:02, archived)
A thick cunt I used to work with called it Tescoses

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:21, archived)
I shop at ASDAs now

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:22, archived)
Aagh

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:25, archived)
My inlaws mispronounce everything
Wetherspoons is Wutherspoons, Poppadoms are Pompadoms. They mispronounce the names of people we know. It's extraordinary.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:39, archived)
One of my mother's friends repeatedly referenced the works of popular author 'Roland Dahl'

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:49, archived)
Ate a lot of raw fish, I bet.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:00, archived)
the plural is actually Tesci

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:32, archived)
Tescodes

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:33, archived)
and if a woman shops there, you have to call it Tesca

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:36, archived)
and if she buys their own brand IUD it's called a Tesca Coil

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:39, archived)
here's one for you
🎵Let's all go to Tescos, where Grrry gets his best clothes 🎵 Na na na na (hey!) 🎵 Na na na na (hey!) 🎵
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:35, archived)
starting to regret signing up for my account tbh

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:01, archived)
starting?!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:04, archived)
First grindr hookup of the week?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:39, archived)
stupid delivery prick is late now

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:11, archived)
half an hour late to a two-hour time slot
useless bastards
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
sounds about right

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
yeah I'm waiting for delivery of a load of cash from my building society
and a dvd
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:20, archived)
Yes hello, I'd like to convert my maturing 25k ISA to 1p coins please, and can you courier it all across to my office, kthx

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:24, archived)

maturing 25k ISA to 1p coins please, and can you courier it all across to my office, kthx old casio calculator into a remote heating control system for my house, because I am Grrrmachine and I am a fucken willy lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:31, archived)
It's good to have a hobby

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:33, archived)

h j

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:38, archived)
2 Can m8
I don't even own a house
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:38, archived)
You're the board's own MacGuyver m8

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:39, archived)
as long as it makes my mullet socially acceptable, I'm ok with that

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:40, archived)
Wow a dvd
Well retro
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:20, archived)
I ordered a record.
I also ordered a new aux cable thing for the car becuase the stupid unit needs a stupid cable that only the stupid company that makes the unit stupid make.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:23, archived)
I missed out on a free ticket to see the long-sold-out Oh Sees gig not 5mins walk from my gaff on Friday night
Apparently it was brilliant, which is helpful to know, eh :(
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:28, archived)
ma8, we were all waiting for you by the bar
it was well peng, we got to meet oh AND one of the sees!
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:00, archived)
:((((((((((

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:54, archived)
sounds pretty stupid

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:28, archived)
here's a shipment for you
*guffs*
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:59, archived)

uffs ives you a lovingly wrapped present with a thoughtfully hand written card
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:18, archived)
Waiting on a shirt to be delivered
And a couple of new vape juices
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:02, archived)

r

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:13, archived)
Lol af

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:14, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:03, archived)
I found an old DAT of my college work
I sent it off to some AV company who are transferring the tracks onto CD - I'm really looking forward to hearing some of the stuff we did. There were a couple of quite nice arrangements with some pretty good musicians. It was also back before I lost the few skills I had as a bass player so it may be bittersweet.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:39, archived)

b
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 13:41, archived)

pl g
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:04, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
this is why we can't have nice things

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:31, archived)
well really now

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:32, archived)

well i'm
now gay

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:53, archived)
are you proud of yourself?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:07, archived)
a bit, yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
I'm in you disappointed too

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:19, archived)

ell rea i
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)
is this how you really want to start the week? Is it?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:09, archived)
y

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:13, archived)
I'm very disappointed in you

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
great
real mature guys
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:03, archived)
CaRIBean queen
now we're shaRING the same dream,
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
I always thought he said caribou Queen
until I was 43 1/2 years old
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 14:58, archived)
No more love on the rut?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:06, archived)
I thought he said "'ello dere mon"

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
urgh...

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:18, archived)
Nah, I have to pick stuff up.
Bottle of jack Daniels for a present and some crickets for the spider
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:22, archived)
My interviewers are late.
How rude.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:24, archived)
Very unprofessional

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:27, archived)
various adaptor cables and sockets and things. getting a bit annoyed waiting for them tbpfh.
oh and i need to send a parcel to france but laziness forbids it.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:44, archived)
morning

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 6:04, archived)
Candlllllleeeeeeessssssss party time

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:29, archived)
it'll be your turn in a week

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:33, archived)
Morning.
I've got a job interview, this afternoon.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)
internal, or are you moving out of the NHS?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)
Different bit of the NHS.
Been looking externally, but not found anything that suits.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)
maybe you should be a tailor
oh hahaha
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)
I see what you did there!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
They're pretty brutal, I hope you know the list of 30 years worth of Golden Demon winners off by heart

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)
Wife's cousin was involved in setting up Games Workshop.
Was "let go" a while back, and now he hates them.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
but where do you see yourself in five years time?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
Tip: "nuts deep in your wife" is an instant fail

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:01, archived)
For this job I did say "I don't make concrete plans as I like to adapt to a changing environment
but failing that, fucking your cum guzzling whore wife."
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)
Candles m8

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
how was your birthday d00d?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)
Yeah, pretty good cheers
Got my telly, so all is well.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
is it many, many inches?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:46, archived)
oh, it's several inches, don't you worry about that
In fact, it's a little bigger than I was expecting.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:51, archived)
you get used to it, after a while

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:57, archived)
Yeah
I asked the kids how long they think it'll be until I say "I wish I'd got the bigger one"
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
disgusting

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
When I left the UK in 2004 I had a 28" which felt big
Then I bought a 50" two years back and it looked monstrous. Now I understand it's actually on the small side for most people.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)
People just seem to get the biggest they can,
regardless of living room size.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)
how gauche

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:59, archived)
It really is.
Being a hopeless nerd, I read up on optimum TV size, based on distance from furniture to screen, and I should have bought a slightly larger one.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:03, archived)
move the sofa forward a bit

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:08, archived)
No need, I'm long sighted.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
Well would you just look at that

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
finally too old for [board paedo account name]

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)
Grrr, you'll be a woman soon

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:49, archived)
once more, with feeling

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:54, archived)
megryan.jpg

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:02, archived)
billy crystal is looking terrifying these days

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:19, archived)
he is the only shit thing about Spinal Tap

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:06, archived)
Did I tell you that I saw Tap at Wembley Arena a few years back?
Their "One Night Only - World Tour"

They were spectacular. Supported by The Folksmen.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
I thought about going to that, but decided the spend was too high for a comedy show
Wish I'd gone now, ah well
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:15, archived)
We all know how much you love musical comedy, too.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
It can be good but almost never is
I really enjoyed the first series of Flight of the Conchords, that cracked me up
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:00, archived)
they're playing in pompey this week but i couldn't get tickets :(
david o'doherty supporting too.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
I thought about going, but isn't it about 70 quid or summat?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:27, archived)
kinell

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
In Portsmouth
So it's not exactly the O fucken 2
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:42, archived)
Guildhall?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:43, archived)
Correct

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:50, archived)
A quick search has found that it's £62.60 to sit in the Circle

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
+h

lol
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:27, archived)
yeah
sold out almost instantly too
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
what's his role in Tap?
I could google this but that kills the convo
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)
mime waiter

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
Shut Up and Eat

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)
Hullo

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:53, archived)
how do

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)
Morning

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:22, archived)
and what a morning it is!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
that looks like fun
alt: grrrmorning
alt≤: have a nice candles-day
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
I'm sure it'll really piss people off by the end of the day
especially on mobile
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:27, archived)
happy St Piran's Day to all our tin-mining /talkers

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
have we got any welshies left here?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:57, archived)
dunno you all look the same to me

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:59, archived)
those weirdos still want independence

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
Welxit.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)
errr

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
I read the reference to the Welsh, in the above reply.
I'm not looking up whose saint Piran is.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:35, archived)
prolly not going to get that job now with that lack of attention

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:40, archived)
What job?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)
blow lol

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:43, archived)
Haha, like the sex act!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:48, archived)
Yes, I do rather!!!!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
well you are quite good at it!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:40, archived)
haha, you'd know!!!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:56, archived)
I don't blame them
their local corner shop only sells The Sun and The Guardian
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)
even devolved regions hold too much centralised power
it's time to return to an open field system and allow each individual to be fully independent
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
they should grant Cornwall independence then bomb it and take it back

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:19, archived)
happy st piranhas day!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
Bon matin mon ami!
Ca va?
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)
ca va bien merci
Que vas-tu faire aujourd'hui?

lol hui
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)

haha, I get this because in many languages hui is something like cock. Bulgarian for example, and Polish, obvsly
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:40, archived)
Cangles
what a special day!
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:06, archived)
13 years of perfectly penned online misery

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)
with some time off for flounces

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)
I ain't never flounced in my live "meight"

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:20, archived)

giphy.com/gifs/bbuk-game-of-thrones-celebrity-l1J3viBK9SYAqbOa4/fullscreen
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:29, archived)

media1.tenor.com/images/408ce6d687a86456186aebc30f6a5486/tenor.gif?itemid=9438567
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)

media0.giphy.com/media/hv3Kj5tvW3oKk/giphy.gif
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:36, archived)

i.imgur.com/g9H4QPg.gif
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:41, archived)
loving all these tbh

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:48, archived)
I wouldn't stand for that if I were you...

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
it's amusing cos most of the people in these images actually have beards
so the whole "growing a beard" joke falls completely flat.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
what joke is that then?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:22, archived)
Yeah I'm interested to know what the fuck he's on about too

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:29, archived)
Me three

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
what a fucking idiot, eh lads

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:22, archived)
too right!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:55, archived)

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:49, archived)
alright candles morning yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)
good innit

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
I'm starting to think I might be too old for the internet
imgur.com/gallery/WRjEjq4
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:51, archived)
imgur is full of whingy teens making "wish I could kill myself" jokes

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
Oh.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:58, archived)
yeah

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:26, archived)
yeah!

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
Isn't that baby eating sand, or something?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:01, archived)
what, quicksand you mean?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
lol internetz
78.media.tumblr.com/20b5be2ed99f843255ac55ef89121632/tumblr_p532vzCzwR1qz6f9yo2_1280.jpg
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:37, archived)
SATIRE

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:41, archived)
alright, well done on 13 years of being a nob
           )
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.|.
l8J
| |
_.--| |--._
.-'; ;`-'& ; `&.
& & ; & ; ; \
\ ; & &_/
F"""---...---"""J
| | | | | | | | |
J | | | | | | | F
`---.|.|.|.---'

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:54, archived)
it's nobs all the way down

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:56, archived)
Morning.
I've got my yearly review.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:06, archived)
good luck m8
I've got a new boss poking his nose into the team I created, so I dunno if I'm going to be given more powers or have all the credit stolen.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:08, archived)
my wife's bonus/payrise is announced on Weds
It's either going to be a fantastic day - or the start of a heavy legal process. She found out a few months ago that one of her juniors was on a higher basic than hers - in this current media climate of 'gender pay gap' hoo-hah she could do very nicely.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:32, archived)
she should take them to the cleaners asap

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
she's going to kick the fuck off if they don't dig deep

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:45, archived)
that's usually good cause for them to find a reason to "downsize her role" a few months later though

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:01, archived)
she's bored as shit there anyway
She begged them to make her redundant a couple of years ago but they said she was too 'valuable' to them.
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)
Whoops!
That should be an open and shut case (in her favour).
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:48, archived)
Yup, and timing-wise it's perfect
Amusingly, every morning she takes part in a meeting part of which is to assess the good (or otherwise) press coverage the bank is getting: she knows perfectly well how desperate they are to avoid negative PR
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)
Hope she increases your allowance.

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:03, archived)
She says if the bonus is more than 30k then I can replace all my vinyl storage boxes which will cost a couple of G's

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
'if the bonus is more than 30k'

*weeps*
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 12:07, archived)
after a chat, it seems I could have had this new boss' job if I'd known it was up for grabs
but he basically said "crack on, you're doing fine".
(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)
not so bad then I spose

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:01, archived)
I already got the pay rise so I'm not going to kick up a fuss

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
Happy candles Grrrrry

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:42, archived)
cheers mVIIIt

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
Yeah hi
I'm at work in Manchester in some seedy bar
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 23:58, archived)
Do the punters not mind you pissing about on your phone whilst you're giving them lapdances?

(, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 1:17, archived)

The government's an corporations are modifying the disease they are infectin us with it deliberately to keep population down. How in just 20yrs can 1in 4 people be affected by cancer now it's 1in 2 people that's a dramatic increase in such a small period of time they promote it on advertising like it's OK to hav cancer etc they know so much about it there's a different type of cancer for every part of the nervous system that's because they create an modify it that's how they know so much they will hav a cure for it also but u will not get to hear of it that's for sure. There's a good film called watchmen marvel film it's about the states government whoever infectin citizens with cancer and I believe it's very true I know it's a film but where do u think they get there ideas for films usually on real life events past or present FACT
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:14, archived)
Fuck Off
this contains elements of truth tho
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:24, archived)
If you believe this sort of drivel, kill yourself.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:34, archived)
No it's true
I have seen Watchmen
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:36, archived)
Someone forget their pills?
And their punctuation?
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:24, archived)
Dunno,

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:34, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7794570
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:49, archived)
I must admit that I didn't believe any of this until the last word, now I know it to be true

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:46, archived)
It is persuasive

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:05, archived)
I don't find it that hard to believe that Zak Snyder is an agent of the nwo,
and that he deliberately picked Alan Moore's classic comic to ruin and taunt us over the increasing cancer rates.

Y'know, if you choose to overlook that this is all a load of rubbish.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:54, archived)
Ruin?
I bet you got all funny about Thor ragnarok being too fun as well. You stupid nerd cunt.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:06, archived)
Ragnarok was great, Watchmen was a fucking travesty.
Terry Gilliam had the right idea when he suggested making it into a TV series.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:17, archived)
It was a bit paired down, lost some elements, but it wasn't terrible.
The ending was probably a bit better too.

Some nerds I know got very upset about Thor being too silly. I admit it was basically a bit planet hulk with Thor in, but a good film
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:19, archived)
A straight adaptation of Planet Hulk would have been a bit bleak, for my tastes.
Everything about Watchmen was terrible, except for whoever it was who played The Comedian, he did a really good job.
I think Terry Gilliam was on the right track when he proposed making it into a TV series, rather than a film.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:33, archived)
Watchmen is the only superhero movie I can think of that isn't formulaic toss
the rest is all boil-in-the-bag bollocks.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 19:52, archived)
I'm not going to try to argue that marvel films offer splendid variety,
but "not being Iron Man" doesn't turn Watchmen into a good film.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:39, archived)

Thank Trump for breathing new life into the gun control movement, which most likely will not be successful, but will serve as the pretext to censor social media all the same - a prized consolation prize for the Left. The deep state and liberal media have decided to go ALL IN right now with the gun control push. Hollyweird celebrity degenerates will be pushing it tonight (or whenever it is) at the Oscars like never before. Conservative voices on YT are being censored and banned to set an example of what happens when you oppose this push and don't accept the MSM narrative. Even if this push doesn't get the results they want, they've at least banned voices off social media which will make the next push against guns (the next mass shooting incident) all the easier and more likely to gain traction without the naysayers around to point out the facts and ruin the MSM narrative. The impressionable sheep are on Youtube, the choir is at Infowars and other alternative sites. The establishment must've finally figured out how the Internet works and are playing dirty and for keeps now.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:21, archived)
Finally, some sense in this fucking place

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:28, archived)
I'm so bored that I actually read this

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 19:49, archived)
I'm not even going to ask what "MSM narrative" is.
30% of my brain shut down trying to read this.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:37, archived)
WINDY PIG: LONDON CABBIE

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:35, archived)
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:36, archived)
*something about always trying to walk it in*

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:38, archived)

walk it thumb a softy
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 20:42, archived)
What?

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 20:49, archived)
Shoving the teacher's pet about with your thumbs.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:41, archived)
:D

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:49, archived)
Since the CIA turned my frog into a bender
I have eschewed flu jabs. No-one's Brazilling me and my fingerprints. Fucking extraterrestrial lizard pricks.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:10, archived)
Your frog is happy with his sexuality, don't hit him with your negativity

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 22:14, archived)
He's on the 'toad' to hell.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 23:23, archived)
Government preference reassignment chemicals are they wean him off the toad

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 23:43, archived)
Happy birthday Two Hats

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)
I can't make it, sorry

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:10, archived)
no worries
I'll save you a bit of cake
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)
I hope you had a good shit on his lawn

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)
done and done
and I mean done
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)
Two Hats might not have time for us when Anna comes
alt. happy birthday from /talk
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:21, archived)
thank you

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)
Another successful orbit around the sun, I dunno how he does it

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:30, archived)
considering his mass, it's more of a binary system

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:33, archived)
crisps

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)
jelly and icecream or GTFO

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:37, archived)
willy and bumcream more like!

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)
I hope Father Birthday's brought him summat nice

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:47, archived)
AIDS

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)
RIP Sir Roger Bannister on Two Hats birthday

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)
Another hero who died while pooing :(

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:50, archived)
at Paul's house no less

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)
Where would staircases be without him and his invention

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:08, archived)
lol

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:11, archived)
gay sex on the stairs
roger bannister
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
to the tune of brown girl in the ring

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)
Just seen Dog Day Afternoon, what a brilliant piece of cinema.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:03, archived)
It is, and what an ending

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:06, archived)
fantastic film

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:11, archived)
dog day noirfternoon, more like

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:24, archived)
day day day day
d-day d-day day day day
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)
dunno what ur on about mush

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)
Wog Gay Farter Coon

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
Hat day!

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:09, archived)
x2

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:11, archived)
and now Davide Astori fiorentina defender
RIP
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:09, archived)
i never got to tell him how i really felt :(

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:25, archived)
Soft and yielding, would be my guess.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 16:47, archived)
That's nice
I'll bake him a cake
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:23, archived)
he would love that, cheers

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:37, archived)
I hope my card got there in time

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:49, archived)
The snow won't have helped our presents get there

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:52, archived)
did you definitely use the new address?

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:56, archived)
no, unfortunately not
if royal mail can't deliver due to bad weather, they set fire to all the post to help keep the homeless warm
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:00, archived)
fake news

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)
fake nudes more like!

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:00, archived)
cake news more like!

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)
Thanks girls
x
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:41, archived)
Big up, Sundayers!
It's a cracking mild and sunny day out there today, perfect for a long country walk.

Breakfast: fokken king fokken prawns, bliksem.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
Turns out my tablet repair job was a success, after all.
Quick bacon, egg, fried bread to fuel myself before whatever it is I have to do today.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:19, archived)
Result.
Fried bread...I love that shit. Haven't had it in aaaaaaaaaages.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)
Cook it in the bacon runoff, with a little olive oil
Foooooooood...
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)
^ winning at breakfast

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)
You know, I haven't got up yet but I was planning to make exactly this for breakfast.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:54, archived)
There was steak left in the fridge this morning
Now there isn't and I'm full.
(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
You can't go wrong with a bit of steak.

(, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)

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