Well that's that, I suppose

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:04, archived)

it's the sex I'll miss

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:20, archived)

all good things must come to an end
which is why this place just keeps going
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:33, archived)

Might freeze it for future scientists, like Disney's head

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:38, archived)

yes! top
www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)

wow, it was pretty tight at the top

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)

that's what she said

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:43, archived)

oo-er missus!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:43, archived)

Over 30 posters, who knew?

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:54, archived)

It's users like Pyroleaf who make it worthwhile

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:55, archived)

planearm deserves a medal

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:27, archived)

twat's twat, more like

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)

Will this thread win a wankety-wank chequebook and pen?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:01, archived)

? is
(Paint! Another one lost, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:28, archived)

I've missed a great forum day

( mongychops, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:11, archived)

translated from German, there is a saying:
"everything has an end only a sausage has two."
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:16, archived)

I'm fairly sure there are other things with two ends
but better to not say this, just look at what happened to the All Lives Matter lot
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:19, archived)

does a drinking straw have one hole or two?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:24, archived)

One.
It's one long hole. This is the stupidest question.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:28, archived)

so how many does this one have?
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:39, archived)

Lol, communicable diseases

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:41, archived)

One.
3 entrances. 1 hole
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:34, archived)

when you go out your front door each day, are you going into an infinite hole with infinite entrances?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:37, archived)

any hole's a goal

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:47, archived)

any cave's a rave

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:48, archived)

No. I'm going outside.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:48, archived)

yeah but wouldn't it be functionally the same thing?
how many holes in this ball?
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:50, archived)

That's a ball with holes in.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:51, archived)

i'm beginning to suspect that you're not as much of a hole expert as your business card would suggest

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:05, archived)

I'm not sure you're aa stupid as you pretend.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:38, archived)

shh

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:03, archived)

Dunno what that is

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:07, archived)

Are you trying to replace me as official /talk idiot?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:22, archived)

This question to everyone in this subthread.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:23, archived)

Oh I thought most of these accounts were you

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:26, archived)

Alright, dollars.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:45, archived)

i don't have the time to dedicate to it that you do

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:36, archived)

I've worked hard to get where I am.
I suppose it just comes naturally to you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:46, archived)

A one sided hole is a cave

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:38, archived)

so you can't dig a hole unless it comes out somewhere else

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:40, archived)

That's then a tunnel

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:41, archived)

so you can't dig a hole at all? you can only dig a tunnel or a cave?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:42, archived)

You could argue that any hole is a very small cave.
At which dimensional point does a hole become a cave?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 18:58, archived)

This one
->•
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:03, archived)

That's your mum's excuse

( mongychops, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:12, archived)

Any hole's a goal.
Any cave's a grave.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 19:54, archived)

That russian bloke's daughter y/n

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)

Is she still comatose?
If so, I might be in with a chance.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:47, archived)

I'm so glad the NHS is staffed with people like you

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)

Keeps me off the streets.
That's a win for society.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:05, archived)

Also good incentive for hypochondriacs to just stop it

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:08, archived)

I should delete this really

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 20:50, archived)

This is as good as it gets now, 2H.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)

#holechat

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:04, archived)

www.paulaustinworks.co.uk/includes/images/POLO3-two-holes.png
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:11, archived)

see?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:44, archived)

please

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 21:12, archived)

Bottom hole get

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 22:52, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:15, archived)

Good morning grrr

( mongychops, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:32, archived)

alright mongy
got any plans?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:42, archived)

Nope

( mongychops, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:27, archived)

I booked my hotel in Krakow
see you there
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)

I'll be the one drunk and miserable

( mongychops, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)

you'll blend in with the other 38m then

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:58, archived)

Hope you're attending a
Spaceman Spiff convention.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:07, archived)

broken link

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:27, archived)

Eh, it worked in the preview.
Think I've fixed it now - it's gone purple, at least.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:31, archived)

stupid kid can't pronounce krakow

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:42, archived)

He's clearly pronouncing it "krakow".

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)

wot a nob

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:53, archived)

G-unit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:49, archived)

dunno what you heard about me

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:57, archived)

poppin' them thangs

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)

Morning peeps

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:52, archived)

*drops binoculars, falls out of tree*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 7:57, archived)

Morning Bernard Bresslaw.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:18, archived)

Bernard Wroclaw now, get with the times

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:28, archived)

A pole-tergeist.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)

Hi

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:02, archived)

pics of moped pls

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)

imgur.com/a/zxtCp
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)

I can see why you bought it now

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)

No kick start apparently, so you have to pedal up and bump it every time.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)

that's brilliantly shit

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:53, archived)

How I'm going to get parts is anyones guess.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:54, archived)

My elderly neighbour used to get about on something similar.
Never bothered to get a licence for it, got away with it for years before a policeman told her to stop.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)

hiya
I’m kind. I’m genuine. I’m stubborn as hell.

I have depression. I’m gay. I’ve experienced a lot of pain, but also a lot of joy. I’ll explore both in my blog.

I love the water. I love being outdoors. I love exploring. Exploring ideas, exploring places, exploring feelings. I love meeting new people and making deep connections.

I tend to wander. I rarely move in straight lines.

I don’t have a plan for the future, but I’m working on it. Once I have one it will probably evolve anyway. And that’s a good thing.

So that’s me. Thanks for taking the time to visit my site!
( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)

78.media.tumblr.com/e224daff1d02aa064e084a8770d1c1fa/tumblr_mowxx6a0Mk1stqv9no5_400.gif
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:05, archived)

kind selfish genuine impatient stubborn as hell a little insecure
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:14, archived)

Roads, rails, escalators and lifts must
represent quite a challenge. On the bright side you're safer from crocodiles.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:28, archived)

Alright SexFace

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:07, archived)

good god

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:09, archived)

R U a fish?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:13, archived)

=CHAR(109)&CHAR(111)&CHAR(114)&CHAR(110)&CHAR(105)&CHAR(110)&CHAR(103)
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:21, archived)

=CHAR(112)&CHAR(114)&CHAR(105)&CHAR(99)&CHAR(107)
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:30, archived)

=CHAR(119)&CHAR(097)&CHAR(110)&CHAR(107)&CHAR(101)&CHAR(114)
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:33, archived)

void loop {
Serial.println(=CHAR(112)&CHAR(114)&CHAR(105)&CHAR(99)&CHAR(107));
}
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)

You just broke my excel, thanks

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)

cos it's some bastard version of C, soz

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)

haha brilliant!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:43, archived)

^ kids tv show presenter

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:46, archived)

the fast show, member

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)

posting on here is like making love to a beautiful woman
I have to use my fingers
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)

Wednesday, 33 from Luton, enjoys long walks, romantic meals, and banging like a shithouse door in the wind

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)

Luton Cemetery Ridge
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)

morning
This time it's personal.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)

your own, PER-SON-AL, MOR-NING

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:44, archived)

bada bah bah bah
I'm morning it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)

will one of you pricks start a new fucking thread already

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 7 Mar 2018, 10:49, archived)

Evening cockshits.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 20:45, archived)

mcbeef's poo-spunking helmit

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 20:57, archived)

Just the two worst posters on the whole forum so far.
This thread is not promising.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:07, archived)

That's not a very charitable character assessment m'hééitt't.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:35, archived)

Aw, you and I aren't the worst his forum has to offer, Windy.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:02, archived)

A pox upon the dung of your evening's cockerel.
Jk lol.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:01, archived)

Fucking hell

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:08, archived)

Ask, and you shall receive.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:31, archived)

Evening
Might have an early night
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:13, archived)

Getting better.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 21:49, archived)

ahoy hoy

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:09, archived)

It's ok I'm here now.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:23, archived)

BOKKO!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 22:24, archived)

Tim Cap
ello...
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 23:13, archived)

Britains top health official says we all need to go on a diet.
'Coz we're fat an' that.

What are you having for lunch?

Do we do food threads here?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:27, archived)

Ok, food, nah

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:33, archived)

Whoops. Soz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:42, archived)

Fish curry fuckers

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:35, archived)

That's some niche grot

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:36, archived)

Puddi puddi puddi puddi giga puddi

( mongychops, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:38, archived)

chicken salad on rye with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:39, archived)

decent.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:43, archived)

it's the complete opposite of tuna on toast

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:16, archived)

indecent

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)

and side pot of jenkem

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:40, archived)

gross

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:43, archived)

Kung Po chicken.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:42, archived)

my opinion of UK diets is a distinct lack of vegetables
my parents, aunts, friends, restaurants, really seem to skimp on the veggies, like they're a waste of platespace or summink.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:49, archived)

As kids, we had veg or salad with absolutely everything.
I still do it now.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:57, archived)

Meat is tasty, carbs fill you up, and chocolate is nice as a treat.
What are vegetables for?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:09, archived)

They're pretty good at gravitational singularity theorems in the framework of general relativity and the theoretical prediction that black holes emit radiation

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:15, archived)

and they wee and poo in bags lol

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:17, archived)

I likes his robot voice he does

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:19, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:19, archived)

pretty sure black holes have been observed to emit radiation

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)

I observed your nan's hole last christmas, m8
and what it emmited had a half-life of 10 million years
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)

that's not very nice
why are you being so mean?
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:58, archived)

seriously my nan is really nice and i'm sure her bumhole is perfectly normal for a ninety-odd year old
you want to have a serious think about punching up and punching down. seriously.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:00, archived)

i mean fucking hell, my nana is lovely. you've badly pissed me off now. enough is enough.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)

i hope your nan dies in the next thirty minutes you fucking bastard.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)

K monitoring this thread now

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)

I've already reported him to the mods
He'll be banned by the end of the day
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:34, archived)

a i
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:54, archived)

What can men do against such reckless hate?

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)

they fill up your food pouch so you don't gorge yourself into becoming a fat cunt
seems this theory hasn't worked in the UK
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:17, archived)

you'll have to start eating stones to fill you up, like fucking sea lions or something

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)

I like to fill up on faggots

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:23, archived)

we know

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)

right

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 13:58, archived)

+ in the cunt

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:10, archived)

shit thread is shit

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)

Carrot and bacon soup made by the mrs, improved with the fuckton of Tabasco I threw in.
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:03, archived)

Tabasco is a desk drawer necessity.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)

^ tggi
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:35, archived)

isn't that from a system of a down song?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:04, archived)

Siu mai

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:04, archived)

which is what?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:21, archived)

the mating call of a litigious brummie

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)

lol

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 14:58, archived)

lol
(Enron Hubbard had a big meaty piss on, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:30, archived)

i'm not fat, i'm slim and sexy as fuck with a perfect bmi and everything.
i've not had lunch but i plan to get a pasty from greg's in a bit, then i'm going to get some chuftwackawacka, then either a takeaway or a nice italian restaurant for some fatty dairy and carby goodness.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 15:51, archived)

^28 inch waist and own hair

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:13, archived)

heh

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)

Your mum's fish taco

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 17:37, archived)

That thread was abysmal
I just found out Motorpsycho did a best-of album last year and it's really good. What's put a smile on your face recently?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:36, archived)

gay things

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:37, archived)

what, involving bottoms and that?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:50, archived)

don't be disgusting, I meant either ‘light-hearted and carefree’ or ‘bright and showy’

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:00, archived)

"bright and showy" is an interesting way of describing what the Enola Gay did to Hiroshima

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)

Put the residents off ever buying rubbish synth pop records again?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:30, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/7856611
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:36, archived)

That rare occasion when my eldest gives me a hug without trying to pick my pocket.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:44, archived)

mine's just developed sympathetic responses
but in her simplest toddler style of over-exaggerating, it just feels like she's taking the piss
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:50, archived)

My kids made me birthday cards
The one from the youngest featured a picture of me crying, with a speech bubble that read "I'm 41! I'm having a mid-life crisis!"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)

Haha, it's funny 'cos it's true!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)

There is NO chance of me making it to 82

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)

8 4
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)

meh, I've had a good run

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)

You haven't had any kind of run, by the look of it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:19, archived)

morbotron.com/video/S03E07/4nhCPShyoW2nLYnWNZ3L-REQi5g=.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)

So, you're saying I should encourage a young boy to feel my bumhole?
Disgusting.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)

no, i'm saying it's already happening
and you're happy when it doesn't

don't make this weird
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:07, archived)

I'm glad to be back in my natural state of confusion.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:09, archived)

*Spitting Image latex heads, Rutherford on guitar*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:13, archived)

I'm not really a smiler
Moving house has definitely improved my overall mood, though. I'm a lot more relaxed than I was.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)

have you got a shed though?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)

Yeah
but I need a bigger one
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8155945
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)

No, this is different
The current shed isn't big enough for the things we want to put in it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)

Get smaller things.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)

perfect

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:12, archived)

Tits

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)

trying to choose the worst word for tits
not sure if its jubblies or chesticles.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)

Always hated 'puppies'
'Mum-Nuts' isn't so bad, though
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)

did anyone ever use that besides jerry lawler though?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:08, archived)

Good question
I'm actually not sure. Something tells me I've heard it elsewhere, but I can't be certain.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)

top bollocks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)

"mammary glands" takes all the fun out of things.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:08, archived)

Any made up word
Bazongas, etc
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)

all words are made up m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)

woah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:15, archived)

take that Dr Johnson
ya fat cunt
( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)

He who makes a prick of himself gets rid of the pain of being a ledge

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:33, archived)

thoughts of rape and murder

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:30, archived)

alright 'mlwttkk'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:31, archived)

Hearing someone describe very saggy and oddly shaped tits as looking like gonzo's nose
Proper giggled at that.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:33, archived)

Weirdest plastic surgery request yet.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 11:37, archived)

thread's dead, baby

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)

Only 3 days til the new Ministry lp

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 6 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)

Good morning
I can’t leave the house yet to drive to Manchester because everytime I get in the Car I think I am going to Shit myself and have to run back in for a shit.

Why haven’t you left for work yet?
(Jammy_Dodger, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 6:46, archived)

just sat down at my desk
it was a busy commute up the stairs this morning.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:10, archived)

Because unemploled

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:20, archived)

are you bald?
do you live with your mum?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)

Because I'm lazy and haven't long been up.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:29, archived)

lol, "long up"

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)

I'm already at work.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:36, archived)

Ah. I had a few drinks last night. And it seems I may have bid on an old Batavus moped.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:37, archived)

do you also have a thing for fat girls?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)

No? Is there a link I'm missing?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)

mopeds and fat girls are both fun to ride
until someone sees you.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:48, archived)

Haha,
I'd never heard of one until I woke up this morning as the winning bidder
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)

I've not heard of them either
but a quick google seems like they're a knock-off of some Javas.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:05, archived)

Fuck sake
Well, it'll be a bit of a laugh.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)

how much was it for this dutch shitness?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:22, archived)

Because I'm worth it.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:36, archived)

I'm so sorry you were born with it

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:40, archived)

A willy, you mean?
lol
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)

that's really stretching the definition of willy

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:07, archived)

More like a second 'outie'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)

Sad face.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 6 Mar 2018, 10:02, archived)

Going to work from home today
You know...for a change
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 7:56, archived)

I can't seem to find the right place for my desk in my home office
If I place it so I can look out of the window then I get too much screen glare for most of the day, and if I try to reduce the glare then I'm stuck staring at blank walls.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)

The people who used to live here ran their own business
and they built an office area at one end of the house. Job done.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)

look mr moneybags here
part of the fareham set now
( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)

My son told me he's having a fencing lesson today
I don't know where I've moved to, Dollars.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:48, archived)

they'll expect skiing holidays every year soon

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:49, archived)

fuck
I'll be ruined
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)

alright spanishfly

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)

ah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)

Glad I think so to

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)

I mean "you"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)

cheers

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)

Nah it's a brand new person isn't it

( mongychops, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)

I guess, I mean a person well versed in IT security wouldn't make it so obvious

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)

Because I'm on my last day of paternity leave because my greedy wife won't share any of her maternity leave.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:34, archived)

being back at work is much better than being at home with a screaming infant

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)

Because I haven't got a job yet
And I have to wait in for the electrician
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)

still no job?
it's almost like you're willfully sabotaging your chances.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)

There's fuck all decent right now
Hoping this auditor job comes off next week
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 9:10, archived)

Evenin'.
Look at this! You couldn't make it up. Straight out of the Monty Python.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:53, archived)

I'm sure I read the exact same story six months ago

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:01, archived)

i wish my life was as exciting as yours

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:13, archived)

Sounds suspiciously like you're accusing the BBC of reporting FAKE NEWS.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:13, archived)

Nah, more like accusing cheese festival organizers of being shit
www.standard.co.uk/news/london/organisers-of-diabolical-cheese-festival-hit-back-as-angry-foodies-demand-refunds-for-worst-event-a3721656.html
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:50, archived)

I thought it was Alex James who was into cheese.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:00, archived)

nice of them to have cheese made by mongers

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:08, archived)

Must be a care in the community scheme or something.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:09, archived)

Blessed are the cheese makers.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:11, archived)

I try my best

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:13, archived)

it's well within your briemit after all

( vladimir, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:05, archived)

I'm not doing cheese puns vlad, you know me better than that

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:20, archived)

You gouda made an effort.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:24, archived)

Is this a wind up

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:15, archived)

Did you come here for an argument?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:15, archived)

No really, but I'm not overly busy, go for it, I'll disagree with whatever you fancy

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:17, archived)

oh no you won't!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:22, archived)

Not with that attitude

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:21, archived)

I got offered the job.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:19, archived)

cor! think of all that coin you're going to bring home

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:21, archived)

If I can just rescue the princess from the castle...

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:06, archived)

*some sort of strikey-g attempt to undermine the fact you did alright at something for once*

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:24, archived)

lol kn

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:35, archived)

I think I can accurately describe myself as a "middle management",
which is another way of saying "useless wanker" .
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:08, archived)

Haha, shit on from both directions

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)

Nicely.
It doesn't involve delivering cheese to festivals, does it?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:26, archived)

Coals to Newcastle.
Should be easy money.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:05, archived)

Congratulations.
What job?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:11, archived)

Contract Manager.
Is there's a more exciting, dynamic, and fulfilling role available, then I'm not qualified to do it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:37, archived)

Have you considered proofreading

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:40, archived)

Ive connsidered it,

( vladimir, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:01, archived)

I considered are we led it off the road.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)

I did that for a few years.
Turned me into the complete opposite of a grammar Nazi.

Unless I'm being paid for it I don't give a flying fuck about how you misspell or otherwise screw up the English language.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 6 Mar 2018, 5:12, archived)

Not clickin that, might be a load of old wank

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:42, archived)

I was bored so I went on one of those sex chat cam rooms I've been hearing so much about. Managed to start a food thread.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:59, archived)

^ sploshing cam whore

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:04, archived)

Had to google that so now I've learned something today, thank you.
Well actually I learned two things, the cam girl's favourite food is mushroom soup.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:08, archived)

We used to troll them on here years ago

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:08, archived)

I wasn't trolling. I even bought some tokens so I could tip her 5 quid to tell me what sort of sandwich she's having later.
She showed me her bumhole too although I didn't ask her too. Would have seemed rude.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:14, archived)

Why are you in possession of tokens?
And www.adultwork.com is still active so you can watch local cam whorez
( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:19, archived)

Can't beat this
chaturbate.com/thehungd/
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:24, archived)

Not your cam again , get your hair cut

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:28, archived)

K originally intended to just link to the site but his cam came up and it made me lol.
I apologise if he's got his cock out now.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:28, archived)

Yeah his

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:29, archived)

A mate of mine went on a cam site when we were wasted
and bombarded the model with questions about where she did her shopping.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:15, archived)

I didn't bother to ask that, I don't really know anything about shopping in Estonia.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)

Ask if there is still a warrant out on me

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:23, archived)

Remind me why they don't like you?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 20:36, archived)

Racist

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)

Me not them

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)

yet more evidence piles up that as a species we deserve to be removed asap
did people really complain about this
( vladimir, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:00, archived)

I mean I am certain I saw loads of cheese in a shop recently, there was like a whole aisle of it, open fridges,
what kind of tool pays twenty two quid to be able to go buy some cheeses, when you can go buy some cheeses without paying an entry fee, in literally thousands of places
( vladimir, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:02, archived)

genuinely how do they get through their days
without harming themselves accidentally
( vladimir, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:04, archived)

I think of it like st patricks day in Tokyo, utterly ridiculous

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:17, archived)

"But for some of those who paid £22 to get in, there simply weren't enough of those mongers."
Fucksake BBC, we don't call them 'mongers' any more.

Please. It's 'spazmodeacons'.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:06, archived)

alright Mr T

( vladimir, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:12, archived)

Vladz0rz

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:15, archived)

RIP Trevor Baylis

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)

this has to be a wind up

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:45, archived)

^

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:52, archived)

strikethrough making lindup

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:54, archived)

and a mike is there

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:20, archived)

is he some obscure prog guitarist or saink?
surely you're not talking about fucking cricket.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:46, archived)

AIDS related, apparently

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:52, archived)

or Obonobo's disease as he called it

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)

o'bonobo's is a jungle themed bar in dublin, ma8e

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)

he may have licked the toilet seats when he was there

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:24, archived)

we can never rule it out

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:29, archived)

I had one of the first radios, it was shit , rip

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)

I had a wind up torch of his
that was fucking dogshit
( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)

fuck him
useless prick
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)

I'm so angry I could shit

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)

What's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke?
Your Mum can't take a joke!!!!!!

lol
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:09, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:11, archived)

haha that's quite good

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:13, archived)

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay £200 to have a lentil on my face!

lol
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)

ok, turn off the internet
This is the stuff right here!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:18, archived)

It spawned endless other wind up devices
that were shite.

RIP
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 15:57, archived)

oh HIM

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 16:46, archived)

Is this a wind up?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:29, archived)

there's a timing concern

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 17:40, archived)

:(((((

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:15, archived)

Greetings, Elder One.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 21:09, archived)

Are you turning my handle to charge a dynamo

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 18:35, archived)

are you radio rental?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 19:09, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 6:04, archived)

Candlllllleeeeeeessssssss party time

( mongychops, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:29, archived)

it'll be your turn in a week

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:33, archived)

Morning.
I've got a job interview, this afternoon.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:39, archived)

internal, or are you moving out of the NHS?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)

Different bit of the NHS.
Been looking externally, but not found anything that suits.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)

maybe you should be a tailor
oh hahaha
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)

I see what you did there!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)

They're pretty brutal, I hope you know the list of 30 years worth of Golden Demon winners off by heart

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:51, archived)

Wife's cousin was involved in setting up Games Workshop.
Was "let go" a while back, and now he hates them.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)

but where do you see yourself in five years time?

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:55, archived)

Tip: "nuts deep in your wife" is an instant fail

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:01, archived)

For this job I did say "I don't make concrete plans as I like to adapt to a changing environment
but failing that, fucking your cum guzzling whore wife."
( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)

Candles m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)

how was your birthday d00d?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)

Yeah, pretty good cheers
Got my telly, so all is well.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)

is it many, many inches?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:46, archived)

oh, it's several inches, don't you worry about that
In fact, it's a little bigger than I was expecting.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:51, archived)

you get used to it, after a while

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:57, archived)

Yeah
I asked the kids how long they think it'll be until I say "I wish I'd got the bigger one"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)

disgusting

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)

When I left the UK in 2004 I had a 28" which felt big
Then I bought a 50" two years back and it looked monstrous. Now I understand it's actually on the small side for most people.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)

People just seem to get the biggest they can,
regardless of living room size.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)

Well would you just look at that

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)

finally too old for [board paedo account name]

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)

Grrr, you'll be a woman soon

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)

yeah

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:49, archived)

once more, with feeling

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 7:54, archived)

megryan.jpg

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:02, archived)

billy crystal is looking terrifying these days

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:19, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:22, archived)

and what a morning it is!

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)

that looks like fun
alt: grrrmorning
alt²: have a nice candles-day
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)

I'm sure it'll really piss people off by the end of the day
especially on mobile
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:27, archived)

happy St Piran's Day to all our tin-mining /talkers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)

have we got any welshies left here?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:57, archived)

dunno you all look the same to me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 8:59, archived)

those weirdos still want independence

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)

Welxit.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)

errr

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)

I read the reference to the Welsh, in the above reply.
I'm not looking up whose saint Piran is.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:35, archived)

prolly not going to get that job now with that lack of attention

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:40, archived)

What job?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)

I don't blame them
their local corner shop only sells The Sun and The Guardian
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:14, archived)

even devolved regions hold too much centralised power
it's time to return to an open field system and allow each individual to be fully independent
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)

they should grant Cornwall independence then bomb it and take it back

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:19, archived)

happy st piranhas day!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)

Bon matin mon ami!
Ca va?
( Lord Gnome, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)

ca va bien merci
Que vas-tu faire aujourd'hui?

lol hui
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:12, archived)

haha, I get this because in many languages hui is something like cock. Bulgarian for example, and Polish, obvsly
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:40, archived)

alright candles morning yeah

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)

good innit

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)

I'm starting to think I might be too old for the internet
imgur.com/gallery/WRjEjq4
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:51, archived)

imgur is full of whingy teens making "wish I could kill myself" jokes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)

Isn't that baby eating sand, or something?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:01, archived)

what, quicksand you mean?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)

lol internetz
78.media.tumblr.com/20b5be2ed99f843255ac55ef89121632/tumblr_p532vzCzwR1qz6f9yo2_1280.jpg
( $$ ✅, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:37, archived)

SATIRE

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:41, archived)

alright, well done on 13 years of being a nob

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( manolith hooray for me, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:54, archived)

it's nobs all the way down

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 9:56, archived)

Morning.
I've got my yearly review.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:06, archived)

good luck m8
I've got a new boss poking his nose into the team I created, so I dunno if I'm going to be given more powers or have all the credit stolen.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:08, archived)

Happy candles Grrrrry

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:42, archived)

cheers mVIIIt

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)

Yeah hi
I'm at work in Manchester in some seedy bar
( colmcq2, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 23:58, archived)

Do the punters not mind you pissing about on your phone whilst you're giving them lapdances?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 5 Mar 2018, 1:17, archived)

The government's an corporations are modifying the disease they are infectin us with it deliberately to keep population down. How in just 20yrs can 1in 4 people be affected by cancer now it's 1in 2 people that's a dramatic increase in such a small period of time they promote it on advertising like it's OK to hav cancer etc they know so much about it there's a different type of cancer for every part of the nervous system that's because they create an modify it that's how they know so much they will hav a cure for it also but u will not get to hear of it that's for sure. There's a good film called watchmen marvel film it's about the states government whoever infectin citizens with cancer and I believe it's very true I know it's a film but where do u think they get there ideas for films usually on real life events past or present FACT
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:14, archived)

Fuck Off
this contains elements of truth tho
(Paint! Another one lost, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:24, archived)

If you believe this sort of drivel, kill yourself.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:34, archived)

No it's true
I have seen Watchmen
(Paint! Another one lost, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:36, archived)

Someone forget their pills?
And their punctuation?
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:24, archived)

Dunno,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:34, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7794570
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:49, archived)

I must admit that I didn't believe any of this until the last word, now I know it to be true

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:46, archived)

It is persuasive

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:05, archived)

I don't find it that hard to believe that Zak Snyder is an agent of the nwo,
and that he deliberately picked Alan Moore's classic comic to ruin and taunt us over the increasing cancer rates.

Y'know, if you choose to overlook that this is all a load of rubbish.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:54, archived)

Ruin?
I bet you got all funny about Thor ragnarok being too fun as well. You stupid nerd cunt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:06, archived)

Ragnarok was great, Watchmen was a fucking travesty.
Terry Gilliam had the right idea when he suggested making it into a TV series.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:17, archived)

It was a bit paired down, lost some elements, but it wasn't terrible.
The ending was probably a bit better too.

Some nerds I know got very upset about Thor being too silly. I admit it was basically a bit planet hulk with Thor in, but a good film
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:19, archived)

A straight adaptation of Planet Hulk would have been a bit bleak, for my tastes.
Everything about Watchmen was terrible, except for whoever it was who played The Comedian, he did a really good job.
I think Terry Gilliam was on the right track when he proposed making it into a TV series, rather than a film.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:33, archived)

Watchmen is the only superhero movie I can think of that isn't formulaic toss
the rest is all boil-in-the-bag bollocks.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 19:52, archived)

I'm not going to try to argue that marvel films offer splendid variety,
but "not being Iron Man" doesn't turn Watchmen into a good film.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:39, archived)

Thank Trump for breathing new life into the gun control movement, which most likely will not be successful, but will serve as the pretext to censor social media all the same - a prized consolation prize for the Left. The deep state and liberal media have decided to go ALL IN right now with the gun control push. Hollyweird celebrity degenerates will be pushing it tonight (or whenever it is) at the Oscars like never before. Conservative voices on YT are being censored and banned to set an example of what happens when you oppose this push and don't accept the MSM narrative. Even if this push doesn't get the results they want, they've at least banned voices off social media which will make the next push against guns (the next mass shooting incident) all the easier and more likely to gain traction without the naysayers around to point out the facts and ruin the MSM narrative. The impressionable sheep are on Youtube, the choir is at Infowars and other alternative sites. The establishment must've finally figured out how the Internet works and are playing dirty and for keeps now.
( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:21, archived)

Finally, some sense in this fucking place

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:28, archived)

I'm so bored that I actually read this

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 19:49, archived)

I'm not even going to ask what "MSM narrative" is.
30% of my brain shut down trying to read this.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:37, archived)

WINDY PIG: LONDON CABBIE

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:35, archived)

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:36, archived)

*something about always trying to walk it in*

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 18:38, archived)

walk it thumb a softy
(Paint! Another one lost, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 20:42, archived)

What?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 20:49, archived)

Shoving the teacher's pet about with your thumbs.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:41, archived)

:D

(Paint! Another one lost, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:49, archived)

Since the CIA turned my frog into a bender
I have eschewed flu jabs. No-one's Brazilling me and my fingerprints. Fucking extraterrestrial lizard pricks.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 21:10, archived)

Your frog is happy with his sexuality, don't hit him with your negativity

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 22:14, archived)

He's on the 'toad' to hell.

(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 4 Mar 2018, 23:23, archived)

Government preference reassignment chemicals are they wean him off the toad

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 23:43, archived)

Happy birthday Two Hats

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)

I can't make it, sorry

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:10, archived)

no worries
I'll save you a bit of cake
( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)

I hope you had a good shit on his lawn

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)

done and done
and I mean done
( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)

Two Hats might not have time for us when Anna comes
alt. happy birthday from /talk
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:21, archived)

thank you

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)

Another successful orbit around the sun, I dunno how he does it

( mongychops, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:30, archived)

considering his mass, it's more of a binary system

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:33, archived)

crisps

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)

jelly and icecream or GTFO

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:37, archived)

willy and bumcream more like!

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:10, archived)

RIP Sir Roger Bannister on Two Hats birthday

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)

Another hero who died while pooing :(

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 12:50, archived)

at Paul's house no less

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)

Where would staircases be without him and his invention

( mongychops, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:08, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:11, archived)

gay sex on the stairs
roger bannister
( broadsword w⚓, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)

to the tune of brown girl in the ring

( broadsword w⚓, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:39, archived)

Just seen Dog Day Afternoon, what a brilliant piece of cinema.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:03, archived)

It is, and what an ending

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:06, archived)

fantastic film

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:11, archived)

dog day noirfternoon, more like

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:24, archived)

day day day day
d-day d-day day day day
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)

dunno what ur on about mush

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 17:41, archived)

and now Davide Astori fiorentina defender
RIP
( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:09, archived)

i never got to tell him how i really felt :(

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:25, archived)

Soft and yielding, would be my guess.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 16:47, archived)

That's nice
I'll bake him a cake
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:23, archived)

he would love that, cheers

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 13:37, archived)

I hope my card got there in time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:49, archived)

The snow won't have helped our presents get there

( mongychops, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:52, archived)

did you definitely use the new address?

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:56, archived)

no, unfortunately not
if royal mail can't deliver due to bad weather, they set fire to all the post to help keep the homeless warm
( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:00, archived)

fake news

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 14:57, archived)

fake nudes more like!

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:00, archived)

cake news more like!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:04, archived)

Thanks girls
x
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 15:41, archived)

Big up, Sundayers!
It's a cracking mild and sunny day out there today, perfect for a long country walk.

Breakfast: fokken king fokken prawns, bliksem.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)

Turns out my tablet repair job was a success, after all.
Quick bacon, egg, fried bread to fuel myself before whatever it is I have to do today.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:19, archived)

Result.
Fried bread...I love that shit. Haven't had it in aaaaaaaaaages.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)

Cook it in the bacon runoff, with a little olive oil
Foooooooood...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)

^ winning at breakfast

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)

You know, I haven't got up yet but I was planning to make exactly this for breakfast.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 9:54, archived)

There was steak left in the fridge this morning
Now there isn't and I'm full.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)

You can't go wrong with a bit of steak.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 4 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)