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# I have to walk down a stretch of canal towpath between station and work.
In nesting season the Canada geese get seriously aggressive. A socking great goose flapping across the water hissing furiously at you can be pretty alarming first thing in the morning.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:57, archived)
# Not to mention swans
they can break your arm with a look, or something
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:00, archived)
# a fuckoff big swan chasing you around lake windermere
trying to eat your flake can freak you out a bit, too
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:01, archived)
# Geese are 100% solid gold bastards
Every so often I have to go to meetings at a place that has a selection of goosey types wandering the grounds, one paticular one has a habit of coming out of the undergrowth at you, all hissy and beaky, one of these days it's going to get a hard bound A3 sketch book between the eyes if it catches me a peck like it did last time.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:02, archived)
# I was bitten by a vulture once

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:04, archived)
# ha ha :D
I fondly imagine you souted "At least wait till I'm dead you rotten sod"
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:06, archived)
# wash more
you obviously smell like a corpse
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:08, archived)
# I've dabbed some old spice on me helmet
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, archived)
# this is making me laugh far more than it should
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, archived)
# The other day I encountered a heron on the same stretch of towpath.
First thought - Wow! A heron! Cool!

Second thought - hummm... a pretty sizeable bird, with a foot of very well-designed stabbing equipment on its head. On a very narrow stretch of towpath...

Suddenly remembered an urgent 'phone call I had to make. By the time I'd finished, it had flown off. All honour satisfied.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, archived)
# Herons are cowards
They'll fly off at the slightest provocation
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:49, archived)