There are a number of issues here.first of all, let's remember there's 24 hours in a day, despite protestations to the contrary, apple hardware is not able to distort reality in this manner, true, steve jobs had a magnificient reality distortion field, but look what good it did him.
Also, people don't like their apple hardware referred to as crap(because it's crap), or indeed as 'completely generic items sold over the odds', that might lose a few customers who continue to enjoy things being round and shiny even though the device performs no actual function (much like the machines sold for scientology which cost real money but actually have no real function, and they probably aren't as round and shiny as apple products, scientology: take note).
Also you use scary words, apple users live in a magical world of fantasy, now that fantasy is broken, and their hardware that just works is not working they may be in a confused emotional state and may lash out at windows and linux users who are just 'getting shit done using non shiny objects that clearly don't work'.
Also, you claim to offer bargain prices, this just won't do, you must offer inflated and blatantly unrealistic prices, this will demonstrate your greater level of quality, which is essential for the discerning apple product user.
You only list the email address eight times, this is far from enough, it needs to be listed at least 37 times
Other than that, I'd employ you twice, but not three times, as that would be excessive.
(Also, people don't like their apple hardware referred to as crap(because it's crap), or indeed as 'completely generic items sold over the odds', that might lose a few customers who continue to enjoy things being round and shiny even though the device performs no actual function (much like the machines sold for scientology which cost real money but actually have no real function, and they probably aren't as round and shiny as apple products, scientology: take note).
Also you use scary words, apple users live in a magical world of fantasy, now that fantasy is broken, and their hardware that just works is not working they may be in a confused emotional state and may lash out at windows and linux users who are just 'getting shit done using non shiny objects that clearly don't work'.
Also, you claim to offer bargain prices, this just won't do, you must offer inflated and blatantly unrealistic prices, this will demonstrate your greater level of quality, which is essential for the discerning apple product user.
You only list the email address eight times, this is far from enough, it needs to be listed at least 37 times
Other than that, I'd employ you twice, but not three times, as that would be excessive.
discomeats This canoe,
Sun 25 Mar 2012, 23:36,
archived)
you knowi posted this on that shitty website called reddit a month or two ago. someone actually gave me critique much like that, except they were clearly autistic and didn't take the piss. shame they deleted their account because i can't see it anymore.
they called me a good for nothing troll and they spat at me when i said i don't really know how to fix macs. would you employ me now that you know the truth? i can make tea and coffee for you in your office if you like
(they called me a good for nothing troll and they spat at me when i said i don't really know how to fix macs. would you employ me now that you know the truth? i can make tea and coffee for you in your office if you like
avant-hard thought UHT was a sex noise,
Sun 25 Mar 2012, 23:49,
archived)
hahahainternet: it's full of mongs!
oh.. wait :D
(oh.. wait :D
discomeats This canoe,
Sun 25 Mar 2012, 23:54,
archived)
*hires applicant with the largest breasts*
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 25 Mar 2012, 23:55,
archived)
i'm a man with a C cup at least, and i can make my belly look like a hairy arsehire me to-day!
( avant-hard thought UHT was a sex noise,
Mon 26 Mar 2012, 0:01,
archived)
That's certainly the basis of a linkedIn profile
(
discomeats This canoe,
Mon 26 Mar 2012, 0:03,
archived)
well, just try this wig on first PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Mon 26 Mar 2012, 0:03,
archived)
It's a Tory!/18th century politics joke
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Mon 26 Mar 2012, 0:10,
archived)