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# He has scissors
Nice, nice scissors
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Thu 3 May 2012, 19:56, archived)
# HE DOES HAVE A WIFE!
he bought the HTC phone case for her.

I still want to know about the cheese though. I can't see any evidence of any dairy-based reviews.

HE DOES HAVE A FRED BERO BOWLER HAT THOUGH! WTF IS GOING ON HERE?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 3 May 2012, 20:11, archived)
# His review of The Woman who Went to Bed for a Year is fantastic
0 out of 3 people found it helpful
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 3 May 2012, 20:34, archived)
# Also, he signs one of his reviews "John"
WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT FRED (IF THAT IS INDEED YOUR REAL NAME)?
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 3 May 2012, 20:36, archived)