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# Because I live in Australia now...

And I only have one roll in the house.
(I helped save b3ta! oceanhippie, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 3:28, archived)
# I've been out of arse paper for two days. People are nuts
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 3:36, archived)
# Is there a TP shortage somewhere on the planet besides Venezuela?
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 3:45, archived)
# Australians have got it into their heads that the best way to protect themselves from coming viral apocalypse is to hoard arts degrees
these things have a momentum of their own, as even normal people are thinking "Well if the fucking idiots are buying it all up, I better get in too" None of the supermarkets the missus went to today had any
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 4:21, archived)
# weird
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 4:37, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! WD-39, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 13:50, archived)
# use a quokka, leave the little fella outside to dry then brush off any debris
Alternatively perineum sunning followed by a light brushing

Or maybe just a cut up copy of The Australian
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 5 Mar 2020, 18:01, archived)