'Roadkill expert Arthur Boyt at home with a dead badger', and he really does look right at home A badger will make a meal for two, says Boyt, though his wife Sue is a vegetarian.
'...the brain. You get that by putting a teaspoon in the hole in the back and rooting around.'
('...the brain. You get that by putting a teaspoon in the hole in the back and rooting around.'
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sun 3 Sep 2023, 12:11,
archived)
On a dark and stormy night Mr Boyt is woken by a knock on his front door. Slowly shuffling along, the old man goes to see who could be calling at such a late hour. The wind rattles through his home and the rain beats hard against the windows, who would come out on such a night?
'Who's there?' he asks but only the sounds of the nocturnal storm reply.
Tired and annoyed he makes his way to the bathroom when he hears the knock again, a slow and deliberate rap.
Pacing to the entrance cursing under his breath, he opens the door as fast as he is able.
'HELLO? WHO'S THERE?' but once again the question is unanswered.
Arthur Boyt steps forward into the darkness but something interrupts his stride. Careering into the night void he lands with considerable force on the Cornish granite flagstone. The unforgiving surface cracks his skull leaving him immobile but semi conscious.
Peering down towards his feet Mr Boyt can vaguely make out the familiar black and white fur of a large badger, staunchly crouched next to the threshold.
Sensing fresh meat, other hungry omnivorous brocks from the clan quickly arrive. Mr Boyt realises what grotesque fate awaits, manages a wry smile and mumbles to himself
'You'll need a spoon for the brain though'.
Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ,
Sun 3 Sep 2023, 14:23,
archived)
they're going in through the asshole and eating up, they'll get there. mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sun 3 Sep 2023, 14:40,
archived)