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# Going
straight to the BTopenworld homepage sure is scary, but I don't think that's what you were after?
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:49, archived)
# woops hang about
looks like a double link or something
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:52, archived)
# Yeah
it makes that little clicky sound twice, like a re-direct.
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:54, archived)
# you've got
the file extension in caps

bt defaults to their main page as a 404

try this
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:55, archived)
# Shit
that is scary.
A cat-scan baby
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:57, archived)
# give me a minute and i will
do my "black and white minstrels" baby(s)
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:59, archived)
# I like it
its bloody clever
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:59, archived)
# i am becoming obsessed
with things involving babies (not that kind of thing...watch it!) i am writing a radio sketch show at the moment, and i have just looked back through my notes, and i am shocked at how many kid references, dead kid references, dead animals, or sexual perversions i have come up with. last week i killed pop from the rice krispies box because he was a cunt. am i alright?
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:01, archived)
# course you are
I've hated those buggers on my rice crispies box for years...
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:07, archived)
# alright then, how about this one
in its original script format mind...

Sick Little Puppy
Presenter: On this morning this morning, we meet a man who can be brought to orgasm simply by watching a puppy get beaten about with a big stick. Please welcome Richard Culver to the show.
[crap clapping?]
P: Now, Richard, tell us about how this happened.
Richard: Well, I was about ten when our Labrador Shatner was run over in front of me, and it sent a shudder down my spine, and I got very excited. Of course, at that age, I didn’t know what had happened, but as I got older, well…
P: (Happy) Great, that’s super. Now, we have a puppy here, a little cocker spaniel, aaaww. Now, are you at all aroused?
R: Not really, it is kind of cute though, aaw.
P: What about if you stroke its ears?
R: Well, hmm, that’s kind of nice, mmm.
P: Stroke it harder…
R: mmm…
P: Harder, so it can feel it inside!
R: Like this? Like this? Do you like that?
P: Mmm, yeah, it feels that. Pat it’s nose!
[yelp]
P: Harder!
[yelp!]
Harder!
[high pitched woof]
P: Yeah!…mmm
[whispery groans, lots of mmming and aahing]
P: (over the top of R’s groans) Look, I’ve got a big stick!

end

of course, its radio, so you'll need your imagination.
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:15, archived)
# christ
I should probably lead in with that is fucking sick you bastard and all that, but I find that quite amusing, am I alright as well?
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:19, archived)
# maybe
i've got another one about digging up some kids graves, and a few for september 11th, its all going to be recorded to cd for broadcast, and i am making a whole load of them, so i will probably advertise this nearer the time.
on the other extreme, here is the most surreal sketch i have written

Chicken Squad
[bill theme]
1: Yeah chief, he’s been selling smack to the kids who’s parents he murdered after the unearthed his hardcore pornography studio in a warehouse that he wasn’t declaring on his tax audit. Shall we nick him?
[cluck cluck cluck]
2: Erm, he cant understand you. He’s a chicken.
[music stops, wait 5 seconds]
1: Bastard.


good no?
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:25, archived)
# yup
thats bizarre, good though, what station is this going to be on?
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:27, archived)
# demon fm
de montfort uni student radio station (currently the best station in the country as voted by the staff at radio 1) woo. i am head of music next year. i am going to get SO much free stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:31, archived)
# i applied to de montford!
didn't go in the end, though

woo all the same!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:37, archived)
# not to mention women
throwing themselves at you to get on the shows...

how did you land a job like that?
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:38, archived)
# the usual
hang around, work hard, suck cock that kind of thing. and no, the women throw themselves at the station manager. he can't however, get free cd's and gig tickets every day. "hello, you saucy little fresher. i happen to have spare tickets to tonights big gig, and, oh, look, there is enough for me, and 1, 2, 3...all of your dirty friends!"

fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:40, archived)
# just dont
mention the dog-stick thing.... and I think you'll be onto a winner......
make sure you give em a couple of vip passes to your place afterwards, hehe.
(I helped save b3ta! youknowyouloveit, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:43, archived)
# i'll have to get them into chris morris
or i could just come across as a total bastard. women love bastards dont they?

can we start this thread again at the top?
(I helped save b3ta! rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 0:47, archived)