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# ThReAd JaCk
Possibly the most useless BASIC program ever... run it an' see if you can figure out what it does



DEF SEG = 0
Status% = PEEK(&H417)
POKE &H417, (Status% XOR &H40)



Disclaimer: Ok, so a 'Hello World' is more useless, but this has got to be 2nd most useless

Edit: Don't worry, it's harmless, at least on Windoze. No idea if it'll work on Linux/UN*X/whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:30, archived)
# Opens the CD tray
and congratulates you on your new cup holder?
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:35, archived)
# Nope.
It's not that one. Much more inconspicuous.
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:36, archived)
# Leaves the tray shut
and says nothing?
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:38, archived)
# It
does do something, just nothing to do with the CD tray.
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:38, archived)
# Flashes pink/yellow
and says "YOUR GAY!!"

with a honking noise?
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:40, archived)
# .......
Look down there *points downwards*
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:41, archived)
# Run this
10 print "you silly chicken"
20 goto 10
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:46, archived)
# i'm trying to figure it out without running it
but i don't get it... brain damage
(rotating bread, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:36, archived)
# Unless
you know the memory addresses on your machine, you won't be able to decipher it.
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:37, archived)
# It's been
...oooh... about 6 years since I had QBasic, but I reckon all that does is turn caps-lock on/off.
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:38, archived)
# Congratulations
you win......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a_semicolon_;
(I helped save b3ta! so long and thanks for all the fish, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:39, archived)
# I can't remember to take
a pizza out of the oven having only placed it there 20 minutes before, yet I seem to have no trouble remembering ancient Basic programming tricks. Trés bizaere.
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 19:44, archived)
# The PET Incendiary?
The one that sets your Commodore PET on fire?
(I helped save b3ta! bnt what, me worry?, Fri 20 Jun 2003, 20:07, archived)