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# Do you have any
treatments for eczema?
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:48, archived)
# shave off your skin
...problem solved.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:50, archived)
# Yes.
You must soak bandages in a 50 percent solution of salad creme and onion water. Apply the bandages and put a pair of nylon tights over them. Sleep in them overnight and your eczma should be gone.

It works for cancer too.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:50, archived)
# Marvellous.
Won't I get fat with all that salad cream seeping in through my skin?
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:53, archived)
# Yes. But you must compromise.
Fat and scab-free, or thin and scabby.

The choice is yours.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:54, archived)
# I suppose my leggings
will stretch to fit them. I'm sure I'll look fab with my love handles flopping all over the place.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:57, archived)
# so what happened to poor Fat Paul?
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:57, archived)
# He's OK.
They have put him on a new drug. He dribbles much less now, but spends most of the day in front of the TV.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 13:00, archived)
# yeah!
He is your soul mate, face the facts and marry him.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 13:00, archived)
# I can't marry Fat Paul.
He is a flasher. Well, he used to. Now he's very quiet.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 13:01, archived)
# drinking lots of
alcohol helps
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:51, archived)