I tried to pull a bird with a butternut pumpkinI was single and suffering at the hands of one of my mates who fancied herself as a matchmaker. She took me out to a club to meet one of her single friends. We didn't hit it off, but matchee #2 had a mate who did push my buttons. We got to talking and I boasted about how, being a single bloke, I was a dab hand in the kitchen. Invited her around for dinner the following night as 'proof'.
She was a veggie, and I'm not, and didn't know any suitable recipies so decided to decide to make up something as I went along. Butternut pumpkin was in season, so I bought one with the idea of stuffing it with something or other and serve with roast veges.
With the oven full of roasting veges I decided to cook the pumpkin in the microwave. So, I lopped off the top, scooped out the gooey bit, filled it full of rice, chopped zucchini, carrots and stuff like that. Popped the lid back on stuck it in the microwave for thirty minutes.
Sometime during this cooking period she turned up and oohed and aaahed at my prowess in the kitchen. Thirty minutes of nuking and the pumpkin was still hard, so it went in for another ten minutes, then a further ten in a vain attempt to heat up the 'stuffing'. By that time the roast veges were, umm, overdone a tad, and not even a liberal dosing with instant gravy (chicken - but I didn't tell her) could revive them.
I think she took pity on me coz she threw me a sympathy shag anyway.
(She was a veggie, and I'm not, and didn't know any suitable recipies so decided to decide to make up something as I went along. Butternut pumpkin was in season, so I bought one with the idea of stuffing it with something or other and serve with roast veges.
With the oven full of roasting veges I decided to cook the pumpkin in the microwave. So, I lopped off the top, scooped out the gooey bit, filled it full of rice, chopped zucchini, carrots and stuff like that. Popped the lid back on stuck it in the microwave for thirty minutes.
Sometime during this cooking period she turned up and oohed and aaahed at my prowess in the kitchen. Thirty minutes of nuking and the pumpkin was still hard, so it went in for another ten minutes, then a further ten in a vain attempt to heat up the 'stuffing'. By that time the roast veges were, umm, overdone a tad, and not even a liberal dosing with instant gravy (chicken - but I didn't tell her) could revive them.
I think she took pity on me coz she threw me a sympathy shag anyway.
Udderbelly A tale of four titties,
Thu 9 Oct 2003, 15:48,
archived)
what the fuck is a butternut pumpkin?did you put that because you thought you'd look a twat when you tried and failed to spell 'squatch'
shit
anyway I made me and my then girlfriend (soon to become ex i might add) some fish fingers and some mashed potatoes but she was in the shower. so whilst she did her girly stuff I thought i'd make the mash ultra-mashed and spent the time mashing and mashing and mashing. then i put them in the food processor. by this time (she took fucking ages in the shower) the mash was so mashed it was almost water - 30 minutes of mashing had made it almost textureless btu I still thought it would taste alright. Funnily enough it tasted like alien spunk. can't really explain it in words that don;t actually contained potatoes but try it for yourself and you'll see what i mean you lazy bastards
(,
Sat 11 Oct 2003, 12:04,
archived)
shit
anyway I made me and my then girlfriend (soon to become ex i might add) some fish fingers and some mashed potatoes but she was in the shower. so whilst she did her girly stuff I thought i'd make the mash ultra-mashed and spent the time mashing and mashing and mashing. then i put them in the food processor. by this time (she took fucking ages in the shower) the mash was so mashed it was almost water - 30 minutes of mashing had made it almost textureless btu I still thought it would taste alright. Funnily enough it tasted like alien spunk. can't really explain it in words that don;t actually contained potatoes but try it for yourself and you'll see what i mean you lazy bastards
Thank you for askingA butternut pumpkin is what we call this vegetable here in Australia.
You feel free to call it whatever you like in your locale though.
(
You feel free to call it whatever you like in your locale though.
Udderbelly A tale of four titties,
Sun 12 Oct 2003, 13:09,
archived)