Horror RoommatesSeveral years ago, I shared an apartment which featured bedrooms connected by a door with windowpanes which had been painted over and covered with corkboard for privacy and good measure.
One night, I was suddenly awakened by the sound of shattering glass. My roommate had thrust his leg through the glass in the door separating our bedrooms.
As the shock of this rude awakening wore off, I realized the leg-through-the-door incident was the result of a particularly raucous round of roommate mansex.
More importantly, I realized I had to pee. So, ignoring the slaughtered-yak noises of my roommate's sexual sturm-und-drang, I trudged to the bathroom, turned on the light, and began to step on the cold tile floor...
...until I realized that the ENTIRE FLOOR WAS SMEARED WITH FECES.
After two days of silent mortification and rage, I finally confronted the roommate about the incident. He told me that he 'had a few too many to drink' that night, and a friendly bar customer helped him home and up the stairs. And then, my roommate said he tried 'really hard to hit the toilet', but was too drunk and pooped on the floor. He then tried to clean up, but apparently he was too drunk to do anything but spread his dookie across the entirety of our bathroom floor.
And then he had sloppy drunken muddy butt sex with the person who helped him home, and smashed a big hole through the wall with his leg.
(Oh, and two weeks later I found a crackpipe in the living room.)
(,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 2:04,
archived)
One night, I was suddenly awakened by the sound of shattering glass. My roommate had thrust his leg through the glass in the door separating our bedrooms.
As the shock of this rude awakening wore off, I realized the leg-through-the-door incident was the result of a particularly raucous round of roommate mansex.
More importantly, I realized I had to pee. So, ignoring the slaughtered-yak noises of my roommate's sexual sturm-und-drang, I trudged to the bathroom, turned on the light, and began to step on the cold tile floor...
...until I realized that the ENTIRE FLOOR WAS SMEARED WITH FECES.
After two days of silent mortification and rage, I finally confronted the roommate about the incident. He told me that he 'had a few too many to drink' that night, and a friendly bar customer helped him home and up the stairs. And then, my roommate said he tried 'really hard to hit the toilet', but was too drunk and pooped on the floor. He then tried to clean up, but apparently he was too drunk to do anything but spread his dookie across the entirety of our bathroom floor.
And then he had sloppy drunken muddy butt sex with the person who helped him home, and smashed a big hole through the wall with his leg.
(Oh, and two weeks later I found a crackpipe in the living room.)
i laughed out loud at that.and the disturbing bit is, i really don't know why.
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TheFelineAnarchist,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 4:30,
archived)
That's grim.And the story has given me the wrong idea about crackpipes now.
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Fronkle99,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 15:13,
archived)
When I was at unisomeone threw up in the bathroom.
Although he was too stoned to clean it up, he left a very polite, well worded and funny note apologising & promising to clean it up in the morning.
(never saw him smoke after that)
What a nice chap!
(Although he was too stoned to clean it up, he left a very polite, well worded and funny note apologising & promising to clean it up in the morning.
(never saw him smoke after that)
What a nice chap!
Duncan Disorderly,
Wed 19 Nov 2003, 20:17,
archived)