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Mr Sand

For a gig i recently did sound for, the following guests apeared.
Mr Ash - Fire
Mr Tyson - Crowd Disturbance
Mr England - Major Disturbance
Mr Germany - Stand Down
The Imps Rep - Suspect Package

Ohh how original!

(charlielangridge, Fri 22 Nov 2002, 16:46, archived)

IKEA

be warned if ye hears 'this is an IKEA time check the time is....' run like hell theres a bomb in the building!

(Deiwos - Woo I found my old name!, Fri 22 Nov 2002, 19:47, archived)

Hindu Cows

If you hear the blue danube waltz played in a hotel lobby look around - all the staff are leaving and so should you be. The building is now on fire.

Check Chuck palahniuk novels for more, mostly true, anti-panic measures from the public service industry.

Oh and if you are ever in a dodgy situation (robbery, attacked whatever) yell fire - more people will come to help and your attacker will be confused. Police officers recomend it.

(

NLi10 lurker - 10yrs & counting..., Sat 23 Nov 2002, 0:16, archived)

Bad Elevator Music

If you are in a hotel lift and you hear some bad elevater music like synthesised piano versions of geri's latest hits, this means that there is a major emergency going on, press the red stop button immediately and insist that everyone in the lift sits on the floor of the lift until help arrives.

(drdik, Tue 26 Nov 2002, 12:01, archived)

Yell Fire

I once yelled "Fire!"...when I fell into that vat of chocolate.
La dee doo da la dee do da day.

(Tommy Smothers, Thu 28 Nov 2002, 0:47, archived)

Here's a time check

I worked in John Lewis's Oxford Street store years ago and we were told during our induction meetings that in the event of a timecheck we were to start hunting for unattended packages...strange how many of us tried to look in the staff loos

(alspicer, Mon 25 Nov 2002, 10:10, archived)