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'They' say cheese makes a sandwich.

...and who am I do second guess what 'they' say?

I chopped off a piece of cheddar (extra sharp) earlier today and put it on the counter. It has since become thoroughly room temperature and rendered a tiny bit of cheese sweat. I still don't have a fucking sandwich. Why doesn't my cheese perform as advertised? What is it waiting on? Does cheese only perform at Christmas? Do various cheeses, such as mozzarella or not mozzarella, behave differently?

I'm basically reeling with the choices and I'd not mind a sandwich.

signed: Starving

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:24, archived)

Keep waiting

and the Virgin Mary will appear.

(may or may not look like mould)

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Dave Down Under, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:28, archived)

Itchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da
Itchi Gitchi Ya Ya Here

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:32, archived)

That

is some virgin cheese...

...which b3tan is responsible for it?

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steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:44, archived)

I think you're missing the point

you have cheese!
as I said earlier today, cheese is fucking ace.
Enjoy your cheese, it's better without bread.

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abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:28, archived)

Cheese is not ace

when it sits on your counter all day without being at all productive.

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:32, archived)

Dude!

CHEESE!
I think you may be missing the point. Sure, the cheese is lazy. Would you prefer it run around? Don't you think that would be a little disturbing? Plus, you couldn't eat it if it had legs, it'd have to be collected for testing or something.

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abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:33, archived)

You could tie it's ankles together for a convenient hanging loop.

I'm not a big fan of cheese running around, but if it was hobbled sufficiently, it might still make a fine sandwich - EXCEPT IT FUCKING WON'T!

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:36, archived)

cheese had legs, you'd most likely have to chase it around a yard ... and, if or when you caught your cheese you'd have to break the buggers neck and then pluck it.

Break it's legs first, then feed it... much easier!

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steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:37, archived)

You should put mines in your yard.

Then you'll get the suprising version of already cooked and sliced wild yard cheese.

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:41, archived)

Careless talk costs threads

Use the talkboard please.
There's not many people on it at the moment though.
Ta

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:28, archived)

LOLz it's 04:30 am in the morning!

It's kind of like cordless bungee jumping. Eventually someone will clean up the mess if they're bothered.

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:35, archived)

Sweaty cheese does not a sandwich make.

Fact.

_{_Fiction}

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:30, archived)

Quod Erat Demonstratum

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:52, archived)

I just had to eat Jarlsburg

And grind welding beads. You made me do it.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 5:04, archived)

You should

try one of these instead... clicky linky thingy

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steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:35, archived)

His brain and/or ham pie

doesn't have cheese.

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Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:45, archived)