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# as promised to woodgie, the first in a series of some.
nutters: the cat woman.
not often seen around town, the cat woman is known and feared in communities all over the world. she will have anywhere between 5 and 100 cats, all of which seem completely ignorant of how to use a litterbox. far from cute, cuddly, loving pets, the cat woman's menagerie will be snarling, spitting, yowling maniacs who will attack at will. trying to explain to her that her beloved babies are actually furry nightmares is pointless, she will not believe you. the cat woman can usually be seen wearing a housecoat, slippers and stockings, sometimes accompanied by hair curlers. she wears these as she daily roams the streets in search of her wayward beasts. approaching her will often result in a mouthful of abuse. due to her nutter status and distressing odour of feline incontinence, the cat woman is a prime target for the local kids. they will follow her(at a safe distance), yelling a choice selection of colourful words and phrases, until she chases them. the cat woman is, apart from the disgusting smell, harmless.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:23, archived)
# needs more bag and incontinence
pisspisspiss lady
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:25, archived)
# also
brown teefs. she's not ready to go in the book yet, i'm still only on first draft.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:27, archived)
# Still would tho,,,,
*prolly has
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:28, archived)
# the cat woman
will sleep with anyone who supplies alcohol.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:31, archived)
# Draw one of the cats!
It has to have the most clumpy and horrible fur that is not only unstrokable, but has an appearance that makes you want to stay at least 100 yards away from it for fear of fur monsters spawning from the patchy, clumpy, flea infested fur bag. =]
(I helped save b3ta! MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:28, archived)
# i'll do it tomorrow
when both my eyes aren't fighting for the same socket ;)

in case you hadn't noticed, i'm actually crap at drawing
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:31, archived)
# Hadnt noticed...in fact its better than 99% of pretentious shit that gets posted at times
its fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:33, archived)
# thanks
not true, but thanks ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:35, archived)
# I like a bit of computer drawing sometimes
I can't do it, I'm considering investing in a cheap tablet just so I can do it comfortably, but knowing me it will be another one of my wastes of money that I can't afford =]
(I helped save b3ta! MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:38, archived)
# *wants tablet too
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:42, archived)
# same here
if i had the cash, i'd get a cheap tablet myself. i'm so skint right now, i'm smoking rollies! sooner i get something published, the better, i need the cash!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:43, archived)
# hahha
*is also smokin rollies, tax free Golden Ginnie
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:46, archived)
# ooo, posh!
i'm on the amber leaf!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:49, archived)
# I heard smoking is inversely proportional to yays.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 2:56, archived)
# smoking rollies
gives you manky yellow fingers, but not smoking them causes you to eat the entire contents of the fridge :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 3:01, archived)
# Also smoking causes early death...before you become incontinent, senile etc
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 3:05, archived)
# ALWAYS been my argument
The minutes of my life people keep saying it will take off are the minutes I will be dying in agony.

I've quit anyway, so it totally doesn't matter =]
(I helped save b3ta! MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Tue 9 Oct 2007, 3:07, archived)
# hmm? what did you say?
something about fish, wasn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 3:07, archived)