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# Scotland is just a great place to both visit and live
we recycle nearly 30% of our waste, our NHS works (!!!) and, thanks to the Barnet formula, we all have great hair at the English Tax Payer's expense.

WOO YAY
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 15:13, archived)
# Our children attend univeristy for free (some of them)
there's a hovercraft which goes across the Forth to Fife... we're thinking of putting a bridge in to Nrn Irlnd, the people are firnedly or drunk, we have the largest and best performing arts festival in the world, stunning scenery, nice towns, happy animals, smoking is allowed outside, pets are welcome.

www.visitscotland.com
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 15:17, archived)
# Glasgow will be hosting the commonwealth games (which will be a lot better than the wolly limpics)
Whisky is from Scotland and so is haggis. If you are here early in the new year you can attend a Burn's Night Supper (which is served with chips) where you will receive haggis and songs and whisky and stories and drinking and poems and dancing...!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 15:24, archived)
# ... founded in 1947 by drunken Irish settlers who came up on the train from London (which was called Space London 2015 at the time)
Scotland has a rich cultural heritage which was made up on the spot almost 120 years ago to sell rugs and T shirts to Victorian time travellers. Although the entire population is on incapacity benefit, the economy is vibrant and includes such domestic mainstays as textiles ship building brewing the civil service.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 15:29, archived)
# Previously a political off shoot of Sedgefield, Scotland is now run by a fat mad bloke
who turns up and spouts stuff about oil and then slopes off with a wild look in his eye. This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the truth. Also - he was wrong about how many police he wants to employ which means he's going to get in trouble.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 15:32, archived)
# inventions and discoveries which are from Scotland include
Penicilin, dialysis, modern roads and driving on the left, drink driving, the pedal bicycle, the distribution of labour, electro magnitism, passive smoking, the postage stamp, the television, the telephone, international disco language, anaesthesia for both medical and recreational purposes... and so on.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 15:51, archived)
# Yoda, the Jedi Master, is probably the most famous Scot and owes his diminutive stature
to his diet of Irn Bru and Crystal Meth... before he fully embraced his habit he was tall and handsom like me, but without as much aftershave and a better job. I'm probably the 16th best person in Scotland, and I'm English. Scotland has a population less than 4 million ... but 4 million what? People, obviously, I'm talking about people.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 16:06, archived)
# Mystery Bob is Scottish and lives in Falkirk or somewhere
which is near Grangemouth which is the best petrochemical refinery in the world. If it blew up, most of teh central belt would go with it!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 16:18, archived)
# the central belt was invented by Travis who
were a group of people who regularly got togehter and pretended to be a band.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 16:24, archived)