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My favourite has to be:

'Making love to him was like having a wardrobe fall on top of you, when someone has left the key in the lock.'

(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:08, archived)

"baldrick your brain is like that of newt, shrunken to one eighth of its original size by a revolutionary new shrinking process.

then cut in half"

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:12, archived)

"This drive allowed ships to grow to the size of planets

and galaxies to shrink down to the size of peas which were shrunk down to the size of ants."

I was quite pleased by the pointlessness of the peas shrunk to the size of ants part.

(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 15:16, archived)