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# She looks like the epitome of a farmer's wife.
I can just imagine her brandishing a rolling pin in a threatening manner.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:17, archived)
# "Get of my land you fucking pikey scum or I'll fucking cut you open with this!"
ahhh, the countryside :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:20, archived)
# The countryside is now full of poshos only
"I say! I say! Now listen here! This is my patch and I'd thank you kindly to remove yourselves, at the risk of getting my blood up!"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:25, archived)
# "now I've just bought this house in the country! and you'll jolly well stop making that racket! I'm important! I want silence"
Blacksmith "O_o?"

"WAAA!!! I'M SPECIAL!!! I'm going to SUE!"

Judge: "O_o?"

based on a true story :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:27, archived)
# I've experienced the opposite
"I'm posh - I'll have a HILARIOUS party every week until three on Sunday morning! It will be fab!"

"Sorry sunshine, but could you do the rest of us a favour and shut the fuck up?"

"I'm posh."

"Shut up."

"I'm posh. I have more lawyers. Bite me."

The end.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:32, archived)
# Call the police?
Keep calling the police?
Set them on fire?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:33, archived)
# I did that to the guy across the hall a couple of years back.
Called the police, that is.
he was breaking the place up, and his missus (at the time) came round to ask if we could help. He'd destroyed his entire living room, off his tits on low-quality drugs; She was bruised to shit, and I wasn't keen on getting the tar beaten out of me, so I rang the coppers.

Next time we saw him was after a 6 month stretch, and a further 6 months rehab.
he's a lot quieter now.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:41, archived)
# Jesus, poor woman.
I'll bet he is. Hooray for JPG!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:42, archived)
# Poor lass, she was in a dreadful state.
I got her a drink to calm her down, and she sat there keening, holding the glass.
She moved out pretty pronto after that.

Let's just say, when I move, I won't miss the place *all that* much.

*Edit*: After thinking about this, I can't think why the landlord had him back - just asking for trouble really.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:45, archived)
# can't sue if they can't find the body..
not that I'm making any kind of suggestion or anything

*cough*

:)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:33, archived)
# Cut someone open with a rolling pin?
You're not supposed to sharpen them!
(I helped save b3ta! SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 15:21, archived)