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# C'm on!
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:09, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:10, archived)
# Arf!
She's a jolly chap, and no mistake
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:12, archived)
# Hiya Barbie!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:13, archived)
# ninj...
alright?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:17, archived)
# Alreet sir!
Your good selluf?
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:17, archived)
# Not bad, not bad
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:19, archived)
# I think she's a lovely
and she's got nice crinkly smile-eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:14, archived)
# She has a face like a lovely soft cushion,
That one would sit on in front of the TV watching a film.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:16, archived)
# This is a lully description
As is Vagabond's below.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:18, archived)
# She looks like the epitome of a farmer's wife.
I can just imagine her brandishing a rolling pin in a threatening manner.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:17, archived)
# "Get of my land you fucking pikey scum or I'll fucking cut you open with this!"
ahhh, the countryside :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:20, archived)
# The countryside is now full of poshos only
"I say! I say! Now listen here! This is my patch and I'd thank you kindly to remove yourselves, at the risk of getting my blood up!"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:25, archived)
# "now I've just bought this house in the country! and you'll jolly well stop making that racket! I'm important! I want silence"
Blacksmith "O_o?"

"WAAA!!! I'M SPECIAL!!! I'm going to SUE!"

Judge: "O_o?"

based on a true story :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:27, archived)
# I've experienced the opposite
"I'm posh - I'll have a HILARIOUS party every week until three on Sunday morning! It will be fab!"

"Sorry sunshine, but could you do the rest of us a favour and shut the fuck up?"

"I'm posh."

"Shut up."

"I'm posh. I have more lawyers. Bite me."

The end.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:32, archived)
# Call the police?
Keep calling the police?
Set them on fire?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:33, archived)
# I did that to the guy across the hall a couple of years back.
Called the police, that is.
he was breaking the place up, and his missus (at the time) came round to ask if we could help. He'd destroyed his entire living room, off his tits on low-quality drugs; She was bruised to shit, and I wasn't keen on getting the tar beaten out of me, so I rang the coppers.

Next time we saw him was after a 6 month stretch, and a further 6 months rehab.
he's a lot quieter now.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:41, archived)
# Jesus, poor woman.
I'll bet he is. Hooray for JPG!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:42, archived)
# Poor lass, she was in a dreadful state.
I got her a drink to calm her down, and she sat there keening, holding the glass.
She moved out pretty pronto after that.

Let's just say, when I move, I won't miss the place *all that* much.

*Edit*: After thinking about this, I can't think why the landlord had him back - just asking for trouble really.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:45, archived)
# can't sue if they can't find the body..
not that I'm making any kind of suggestion or anything

*cough*

:)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:33, archived)
# Cut someone open with a rolling pin?
You're not supposed to sharpen them!
(I helped save b3ta! SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 15:21, archived)
# And a nice, average voice.
Not that I'm a particularly good singer, but... y'know... she's not the messiah or anything...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:17, archived)
# its like that fat scouse bloke who won a few years back,
a decent set of pipes, granted, but nothing incredible. I think the entire phenomenon is down to the fact that people seem genuinely surprised that, despite hollywood, normal, plain looking people can actually be good at anything
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:19, archived)
# I'm not surprised, I've been singing jazz* and blues for years
I look quite normal compared to some of the people I've performed with.


*no, not the 'kitten and a trumpet in a dyson' type.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:20, archived)
# this is why I avoid the bear baiting that is ITV.
in other news i'm currently only wearing socks. this is possibly the least sexy way a man can be dressed
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:23, archived)
# Depends on the socks. Are they covered in money and precious jewels?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:23, archived)
# or additional layers of socks?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:25, archived)
# What, like ten?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:26, archived)
# maybe
maybe one snug fitting all over bodysock
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:27, archived)
# fraid not. just regular black 'uns
i've found more clothes. i feel more human
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:27, archived)
# I've got loads of clothes on.
Well, five. Six? Do socks count as two or one?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:28, archived)
# not sure, do bras count as clothes to?
more importantly do they count as layers? as in "i've got three layers on and I'm still cold"
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:30, archived)
# Maybe you should put another bra on then.
You strange person.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:31, archived)
# I'd count them, both ways.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:32, archived)
# No, one sock is the least sexy.
One grey woolen knee high sock.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:24, archived)
# *shudders*
you win
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:26, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:27, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9381069
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:22, archived)
# good point, smugly made
(Tom_O'Bedlam http://www.zazzle.com/tomobedlam, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:25, archived)
# Are you talking about yourself...
...in the 'Third person'? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:18, archived)
# The Cap has dreamy eyes...
*swoons*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:21, archived)
# I don't, they're lopsided and one wanders off when I'm tired.
:D Aw, though. Have some brownie points.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:22, archived)
# What pish.
Lopsided indeed.

*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:23, archived)
# No they ARE
I've had them for 24 years, I know.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:24, archived)
# *resolutely refuses to budge from his opinion*
:P

*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:25, archived)
# Awww :D
*hug* you're a lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:26, archived)
# Who's eyes did you have before that?
Or did a lady just say her age publicly? Is this, is this the precursor to the end of civilisation as we know it?

*panics and feels shame*
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:31, archived)
# I don't get the whole 'not telling people your age' thing
Of all the things to be worried about, the passage of time's the silliest.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:34, archived)
# I think all these bloggers have got it wrong about everyone being amazed
an 'ugly' woman can sing. I think it's what she said and did before singing that prompted the disbelief post singing.
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:18, archived)
# racist swears and a striptease?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:42, archived)
# Hahaha!
You had to, didn't you?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:17, archived)
# Soz JP!
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:18, archived)
# :D
Not in the slightest, my fine fellow.
It's a belter.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:19, archived)
# *Glees*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:21, archived)
# Not wanting to sound daft
but....

Who the hell is this woman?
(I helped save b3ta! Ril3y is a brit abroad.. bring on the Stella / Asahi, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:22, archived)
# Thank the lord someone asked that question before I was forced to.
Edit: Sadly, no answer seems to be forthcoming, though...
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:24, archived)
# she's bubbly and on the boil
..nice voice though:)
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:28, archived)
# Nigel Lawson?

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 14:31, archived)