
And I have a bad neck, which makes me walk around like a 1980's Cyberman.
I want to be home in bed with hot drinks and blankies.
( ,
Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:24,
archived)
I want to be home in bed with hot drinks and blankies.

So here's the plan.
You distract the guards by vomiting in the corner and pretending to be ill - when they come in, I will hit them over the head with my big shoe (which I have filled with dirt). Once they are unconcious, we fashion French peasant outfits out of the bed sheets and smear the shoe dirt on our faces as a dirt disguise. We smuggle ourselves aboard the daily french peasant whore truck and once we are clear of the perimeter walls, I will overpower the driver with a ninja neck pinch. Once the truck slows down enough for us to leap safely from it, we head towards the border, muttering under our breath something about fleas and diarrhea - which will keep curious people from approaching us. Once at the border, we hide behind a bush and wait till nightfall - then crawl on our bellies to the coast, where Paul in his waiting boat will pick us up and boat us over to a cornish tea house where we will eat lovely scones with clotted cream and jam and sip lots and lots of tea.
( ,
Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:36,
archived)
You distract the guards by vomiting in the corner and pretending to be ill - when they come in, I will hit them over the head with my big shoe (which I have filled with dirt). Once they are unconcious, we fashion French peasant outfits out of the bed sheets and smear the shoe dirt on our faces as a dirt disguise. We smuggle ourselves aboard the daily french peasant whore truck and once we are clear of the perimeter walls, I will overpower the driver with a ninja neck pinch. Once the truck slows down enough for us to leap safely from it, we head towards the border, muttering under our breath something about fleas and diarrhea - which will keep curious people from approaching us. Once at the border, we hide behind a bush and wait till nightfall - then crawl on our bellies to the coast, where Paul in his waiting boat will pick us up and boat us over to a cornish tea house where we will eat lovely scones with clotted cream and jam and sip lots and lots of tea.