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# LOLWUT
String walks into a bar, orders a drink and the bartender says 'we don't serve pieces of string here' so he goes out.
Next day the string is determined to be served, so he wears shades doesn't shave, messes his hair up and sidles up to the bar again.
'Aren't you that string I refused yesterday?'
'Nope, frayed knot'
(, Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:24, archived)
#
All right, a midget walks into a bar. A nun gets close to the midget and says "Give me fifty bucks and I'll recite the Carmina Burana from memory." The midget quickly downs six gin and tonics, one after the other. The bartender says "Hey. Why don't you hold this pencil between your ass cheeks?"

The midget takes a deep breath and yells "Moo."
(, Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:33, archived)
# A nun, a flamingo, an Englishman, an Irishman, Jesus and a 9 inch pianist go into a bar
the comedian in the corner has a nervous breakdown.
(, Sun 6 Sep 2009, 15:41, archived)