Mouthful of salts of sulfuric acid plus water to make sulfurous acid.
Hold in your mouth under pressure for 4 hours @ 160 degF and it will dissolve the wood fiber into cellulose*
*may be bad for your teeths. Among other things...
(
HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman,
Tue 12 Jan 2010, 22:31,
archived)