b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 9994245 (Thread)

# cunt!
instead of watching cash in the attic, i was treated to a bird's eye view of this utter twat being driven through london to catch a fucking train!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 6 Apr 2010, 23:54, archived)
# Ha I was a bit surprised with that too.
Still, we got Bargain Hunt, albeit not the advertised episode.
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:00, archived)
# i console myself
with the fact that it would probably have been hosted by lorne "fake laugh" spicer
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:03, archived)
# Oh God. I will pretty much watch any shit.
But Lorne Spicer? No thank-you. I'll get a life before I watch her shows.
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:10, archived)
# she has the worst dress sense, too
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:13, archived)
# And
She shouts instead of talks.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 1:15, archived)
# I've formally applied to go on Bargain Hunt.
I did it a fortnight ago, and I still haven't heard back. I hope they don't think I'm just taking the piss. Cos I'm never just taking the piss.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:09, archived)
# It'd be great to see you on there!
We'll know it's you. We'll just know!
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:11, archived)
# I'll be bald, bespectacled and smirking.
God save strawberry jam and all the other varieties...
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:14, archived)
# Hurrah!
The strawberry jam line doesn't quite fit into the b3ta sig. :(
(I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:20, archived)
# Ah, b3ta sig letter number frustration blues...
yep. We've all suffered that. And found workarounds.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:24, archived)
# if you get on the show
i challenge you, here and now, to work my name into the conversation somehow
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:13, archived)
# Easy peasy.
EXPERT: "This is a delightful example of early Edwardian silversmithing, characterised by the almost rococo Stoke-on-Trent style of curlicue you can see here, and here."

ME: "Smash Monkey."
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:18, archived)
# YES! DO IT!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:25, archived)
# You demonstrate a touching faith in my long-term memory.
Christ, my short-term memory is crap enough.

Anyway, what were we talking about?
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:28, archived)
# something about cheese, wasn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:34, archived)
# Krautrock.
Or Cuba.

Or vacuum cleaners.

One of those, maybe.

*gazes into the mirror with horror*
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:41, archived)
# Look on the bright side, it just means more b3ta-time!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:03, archived)
# it would
but i went shopping instead
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 7 Apr 2010, 0:07, archived)