Those of us going to the Exeter bash on 26 July are welcome to join us on the 15:20 train from Exeter St. Davids to London Waterloo on the afternoon on Sunday the 27th (the following day). Arrival in Waterloo is at 18:58

To maximise the time spent with fellow b3tans, I've deliberately chosen the slower train. So come chat with your fellow b3tans as we trundle along the West of England Main Line.

Train tickets can be booked online at www.thetrainline.com/

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars

or going to Hogwarts, we could have booked a little compartment.

thealternativefact

you can still get compartments.

Perhaps we should sail south to France, get a train accross Northern France, and then get another boat when we're as East as London is.

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars

let's. I fancy being all continental. I'm going to prepare for the trip by purchasing a cigarette holder and practicing a variety of accents.

thealternativefact

I could also hack into the computer that controls the points and hijack the train sending it hurtling through the Channel Tunnel.

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars

we may as well try to commit some sort of international crime along the way and pretend we're in some 1940s thriller.

thealternativefact

We'd end up in Wartime France. Our conversations would be so bizarre that we'd be captured and interrogated because the Nazis thought we were talking using a secret code?

"So, ist Vednesday 4pm zer time of zer allied invasion, ja?"

"You keep talking about length. Ist zis part of zer secret plans for building somethink, ja?"

Fearing we have nothing to lose, we tell them the whole sordid truth about flashwanking, goats, haunted suits of armour, confectionary-based public transport etc. All this will be too much for them. The strangeness of it all overwhelms the Nazi guards and their heads all explode with confusion. We then make our escape into the nearby countryside. We'd go on to form our own resistance-cell consisting entirely of b3tans.

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars

I think that whatever happens, we're headed for a cell of some sort.

resistance
gaol
padded

With the first comes reward, the second, bum-fun and the third, drugs.

I'll work my way through them.


Reading through this, I'm not entirely surprised no one else has signed up...

thealternativefact