I think a shop of "Saville and Glitter, proprietors" along with photos would be appropriate.
It was a lot funnier in my head
(
gunmetal drove slowly in the passing lane on, Mon 2 Mar 2015, 18:02,
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No Cliff?
[allegedly]
(
admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 9:57,
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