NEWSLETTER: "FREE NFT INSIDE (*NO FUCKING THING)"
This Week:
* ODDLY APPROPRIATE ADDRESSES - from 3word wankers
* INTERVIEW - Sir "Uncle" Clive's nephew
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - TV Crossovers
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | so that we can afford an
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| information superhighway"
B3ta electro email 792 - 22 Oct 2021
Read this issue to your poor confused mother:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue792
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making farty smells as usual
* ODDLY APPROPRIATE @WHAT3WORDS ADDRESSES -
Merkinhead writes, "I've collected a few of
these now." ///safely.registers.starlight
points to Lovell Telescope at Jodrell Bank.
https://twitter.com/What3Wordplay/status/145116521...
* MORE IMAGINARY FRIENDS - Matt Round writes,
"People kept sending me their weird imaginary
friend stories so I've added more to the site.
Around 90 new friends had been submitted & I
went through first half & picked out 28"
https://vole.wtf/imaginary-friends/
* SINCLAIR CHAT - your editor writes, "I had a
chat with Sir Clive's nephew on the basis that
he was everyone's Uncle Clive, but for this
guy, he had the reality. So if you want to
know what it sounds like to hear me have a
slightly rambling chat with an interesting
stranger then go ahead - give it a listen.
Plus I made a feem tune because I'm Dennis
Waterman at heart." (MP3)
https://robmanuelfuckyeah.substack.com/p/interview...
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: HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
Buy the men your life nice clothes for Xmas
Men are hard to buy presents for, but
speaking as men, we always like clothes. Sort
us out at Hebtro this Xmas, birthday or
whatever weird pagan shit you celebrate. All
made in the UK and made to last.
https://hebtro.co
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions sicked up as wicked content
Each week we ask you masturbate into the
Pope's mouth and he swishes it around like
catholic mouthwash and spits up the best bits
like a newborn baby taking their mother's
milk:
* PHONE SHAME - "I woke up from a nap the
other night to find my bf trying to hide what
he was looking at on his phone. After much
discussion, he finally showed me; it was a
PDF, detailing the new font they're using on
Ukrainian road signs. I wish it had been porn
tbh."
* SEX TIPS - "To stop myself from blowing my
load too early during sex, I often think about
ex-Southampton defender Ken Monkou going up
for a header."
* OMG NO - 'Saw my brother looking in a shop
window, went up and slapped him on the back
"who's been eating all the pies then?!" It
wasn't my brother.'
Join the 187,000 people who need their 5 1/4
inch floppies inspected by Juliette Bravo.
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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** KUNT & THE GANG 'SHANNON MATTHEWS MUSICAL'
CASTING CALL **
The world's most notorious musical is going
to Edinburgh and they're casting now, so get
involved, this is your ticket to the top and
being in Chess with ABBA.
https://twitter.com/HaTuppence/status/145130255957...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff made by people who refuse to post on B3ta
* CHESS (BUT NOT WITH ABBA) - Play along with
a classic 1858 chess game, which has been
turned into this interactive short story.
Feels like a format that could be made to work
with a live game, with the story being
generated as you play.
https://gregkarber.com/opera/
* 'AM I HOT OR NOT' FOR AI ART - Generative
art seems pretty fashionable at the moment,
presumably partly because it is an easy way
for self facilitating media nodes to rack up
loads of crypto-pennies with minimum effort.
This site allows users to vote on which
generative art looks the nicest. Genuinely
interesting to look at the results and see
which aesthetics have mass appeal.
https://artvote.net
* AI MORALS - Ask an AI about ethical
quandaries & get predictably terrible answers.
"It's even against putting crisps in
sandwiches" writes crisp sandwich enthusiast
Matt Round. Pretty sure we'd get similar
results by bunging questions into a sentiment
analysis library and scoring anything above
60% as "it is good."
https://delphi.allenai.org
* READ ABOUT A LEGENDARY DEV - we blow hot and
cold with code. We love what it enables, but
we're often alienated by code bros who want to
show off how awesome they are. But this guy
sounds pretty great.
https://github.com/readme/featured/why-the-lucky-s...
* APPLE ANNOUNCES YOUR DEATH - this will
probably get picked up by the Q lot as
evidence that THEY PLANNING SOMETHING.
https://twitter.com/drewhamlin/status/145027803816...
* YOUR SUPER NINTENDO IS NOW MIDI - well it is
if you buy this cart. Shame we lost our SNES
in a house move years ago, so we'll have to
wait for a midi adapter for our Cambridge
Computer Z88 instead.
https://www.supermidipak.com/
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: FRIDAY GAME
Can you think like a bot?
A game in which you must guess all the words
the AI has used to label a photo. We'd have
called it Talk A-Bot, although Talk About
hasn't been on telly for 30 years, which may
limit the audience for the pun.
https://thinklikeabot.com
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Whose famous last words were "Kiss me hard-on"?
Fellatio Nelson
Thank you to Iawn Cont, who has apologised for
writing this joke on "I'm sorry I've written a
joke".
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
Follow ups on previous stuff from B3ta world
* MONKEON CELEBRATED IN FESTIVAL - Monkeon
writes "My Koyaanisqatsi generator is being
shown at this, as part of the Cologne Film
Festival. I think the parkour just involves
stepping inside a building rather than it
being on a roof."
https://filmfestival.cologne/en/urban-gif-parcour
And if you missed Gifaanisqatsi:
https://www.monkeon.co.uk/gifaanisqatsi/
* THE RETURN OF GOATSE CORNER - thanks to the
at least two people who've sent us this.
https://twitter.com/TheTorontoSun/status/145117451...
* FRAMLEY EXAMINER BOOK OUT - and what's that
in the credits? Only the sole paid bit of
advertising that B3ta has EVER run. If you can
really call it that.
https://twitter.com/Ron_Vaux/status/14505169789684...
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Pop Group Animals
Here's the best images from last week:
* Aliswodeck celebrates The Osmonds and we
think we love it:
https://b3ta.com/board/11353093
* Chumps channels Bob Dylan with the GIF from
the North Country:
https://b3ta.com/board/11353070
* And Wanxox channels... well if we say the
name of the band we'll ruin the punchline but
we will say the drummer is 'armless.
https://b3ta.com/board/11353087
* See all the other images from the 'Pop Group
Animals' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/popanimals/popular
>> This week: TV Crossovers <<
All the soap operas are swapping characters
for a thing, so let's do that with all the
programs, put Dad's Army in Band of Brothers,
Red Dwarf in Star Trek and Mrs Brown's Boys in
Squid Game.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/tvcrossover/popular
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Free ideas to wank your brain off into content
* IT'S FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE BOT - seeing as
Daniel Craig saying "Ladies & Gentlemen, it's
the weekend" as about a billion followers, how
about a Robert Smith version?
* SECOND CURE BOT - Also another bot posts on
10:15 on a Saturday night, for all you people
sitting in the kitchen sink, which is surely
one of the great evocative lyrics of being
stuck at home with nothing to do, whilst you
feel the world is passing you by.
* READER SUGGESTION - SockCooker asks for
"Tiny windscreen wipers for mobile phones.
Make it happen pls. Kick start or whatever the
kids do these days. Junior kickstarter."
Honestly more reader suggestions please, it
makes this filler bit easier to fill.
Send us litres of dog piss virtually with a
dog piss NFT - wait, we mean email us using
the form:
https://b3ta.com/mailus
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image
challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to
Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul
Blanchard - you sexy people. And Mike Powell
and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and PJ. Love
you.
And a special thank you to the super generous
Paul Topping.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: TOP TIP
Save money on expensive, hallucinogenic drugs
by stepping beyond your front door once in a
while (GeordieJay)
https://b3ta.com/questions/toptips
