NEWSLETTER: "UNPOPULAR OPINION: NO ONE STANDS UP FOR THE DOGS WHO *LIKE* FIREWORKS"
This Week:
* SIMULATE A WETHERSPOONS PUB WITHOUT VISITING
* HOW TO GET PAST PAYWALLS (THIS WEEK)
* GAME - CHILL OUT STACKING ROCKS
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | NFTs by right clicking
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ... together"
B3ta e-e-e-email 794 - 8th Nov 2021
Invent time travel and read this issue to Hitler:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue794
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making love to Wogan fleshlights
* MOVING POSTCARDS - Drivelsieve writes, "I
made these postcards move", and "I live on the
Isle of Wight" he continues. So that's more
Gilliamesque mini lols.
https://b3ta.com/links/I_made_these_postcards_move...
* GARTH MARENGHI FAN ART - Mrmenfolk writes,
"My friend made a concrete Darkplace hospital
and asked me to do a promo. I made a reboot
set in the 00s." This has some charm.
https://b3ta.com/links/Garth_Marenghi_reboot
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: HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
B3ta sponsors ask you to buy stuff for Xmas
We contacted Hebtro to ask what they wanted in
their promo this week and they mentioned that
they've got some new jumpers out, "Made in
Nottingham, from wool from Yorkshire." Then
they asked us to point out that they make
stuff here but aren’t flag shaggers.
We then went on to have a conversation about
discount codes and we suggested they do one
called IAMATORY that doubles the price and
they instead told us about their actual
discount code page and offered up this:
https://hebtro.co/2021/10/29/discount-codes/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up for internet likes
Each week we ask you to vomit into a Google
form and we pick out a few we like to see if
anyone will share them on Twitter:
* ROBOT DANCING - "As a small child in the 80s
I received praise for my ability to move like
a robot, I displayed my skills at every
opportunity and I remembered how proud I felt
many years after. It wasn't until I had kids
that I realised adults were just humouring me,
wankers."
* CHARMING - "My wife is a terrible dancer.
She gallops around and does a weird rock the
baby thing. I love her endlessly and would
never tell her or anyone else I feel this way,
but I just had to say it once not in my head."
* ROOKIE ERROR - "I made the mistake, five
years ago, of telling my wife I found ironing
relaxing when I was stressed. Now it's 'my
thing' and she leaves it for me to do no
matter how much I complain. I got a fucking
iron for my birthday last year."
So join the 196k people who say stuff like
"Listen right it goes into the oven at 180C,
don't give a fuck what your instructions say."
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content made by people who don't talk to us
* TAKING THE PISS OUT OF NFTS - Love them or
hate them, everyone must admit that there's a
shedload of crap being peddled as NFTs. This
Tumblr blog saves you time searching for jpg
masterpieces by collecting only those which
are *very good*.
https://verygoodnfts.com
* WETHERSPOONS PUB SIMULATOR - Long
location-based ambient soundtracks have been a
thing for a while now on YouTube, and Foxdog
Studios have joined in by recording 1 hour of
a Manchester Wetherspoons at 11am on a
weekday, should you find a background hum of
Mancunians dropping the f-bomb comforting.
https://youtube.com/watch
* GET PAST PAYWALLS - neat site to help you
hop over newspaper paywalls which works by
digging out the Google cached version that
publications show to robot crawlers to try and
get stuff ranked higher.
https://12ft.io/
* IT'S FULL OF LIES - Incredible thread
exploring how a musical toy works, and it
works in the shittiest way possible. Do read
to the end.
https://twitter.com/Foone/status/14542305859336314...
* REMEMBER THIS? With Owen Paterson in the
news, this old UsVsth3m game is sort of
topical again, as is Super Tory Boy which you
can find on Matt Round's website seeing as the
Mirror binned the lot.
https://tomscott.com/usvsth3m/owen-patersons-badge...
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: FRIDAY GAME(S)
Let's stack rocks
Nice relaxing coastal game of stacking rocks.
Seaside games could make for a nice series,
also featuring rock-skimming, drawing in the
sand with a stick, and changing out of your
trunks under a towel without having a
traumatic accident.
https://neal.fun/rocks/
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What's really thick and lives on a globe? A flat
Earther.
Thank you "Graham Coxon out of Blur" but
probably not that one.
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/
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: BEST IMAGES THIS WEEK
From the place that we call /board
* Ian Corrigible brings us a horror take on
Horace Goes Skiing.
https://b3ta.com/board/11354638
* Electricgoose manages to connect up Linda
McCartney to Zuckerbeg:
https://b3ta.com/board/11354690
* And it's goodnight from him and goodnight
from memes with Octo:
https://b3ta.com/board/11354871
Slightly confusingly we've got two challenges
on as it's always a good idea to split the
photoshopping public in two. First there's the
Metaverse challenge:
https://b3ta.com/challenge/meta/popular
And also there's the Halloween challenge:
https://b3ta.com/challenge/horrorgames/popular
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image
challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to
Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul
Blanchard - you sexy people. And Mike Powell
and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and PJ. Love
you.
And a special thank you to the super generous
Paul Topping.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: TOP TIP
Make work meetings more fun for yourself by
taking notes on an etch-a-sketch (Monkey the
Chicken)
https://b3ta.com/questions/toptips
