Fire alarm
What kind of bloody idiot puts a fire alarm button INSIDE the boys' toilet at a secondary school, anyway?

There I was, washing my hands are a pretty satisfying mid-morning shit, when a couple of the school hardcases strode in, smashed the glass on the alarm button and ran off laughing at the success of their prank.

Naturally, I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and the words "Got you, you dreadful scrote", and I was frogmarched out in front of the school as the boy who set off the fire alarm.

Having never been in trouble ever before, I squealed like a little pig, so not only did I get the rap for the false alarm, but also for trying to pin it on a couple of poor, sweet innocent hardcases who would rip your bollocks off given half the chance, such as if you had accused them of setting off a fire alarm.

I don't mind admitting that I actually soiled myself when they cornered me later that day, only to have them thank me for doing their weeks' worth of after school detention for them. A bit of an escape, I thought, as the school caretaker set me to mucking out the toilets.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 14:46, 1 reply)

It wasn't a fire alarm. It was a paedophile alarm. You were 27 and the children pressed the button to escape you.
Could have been worse. Rob could have been there trying to finger the kids as well.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 18 Oct 2012, 22:51, closed)