Up up and awaaaaay...
I've been on your miserable planet for long enough now to have long passed the point where your higgerance amazes me. Politics, religion, Razorlight, cycle helmets, social media - basically your whole society is founded on ignorance so monumentally staggering that it's a miracle you haven't blown yourself into kingdom come by now.

However, and you may thank me for my brevity, or you may wish me to die in a fire, I will limit myself to a single example.

Many years ago I happened to be at a fete in a small English town in Somerset. (It might have been Chard. Or Crewkerne.) At this event, along with the usual stalls and games, hot air balloon rides were being offered. I was drinking a cup of tea and watching a balloon prepare for take-off when I overheard the following conversation between a yokel and an oik:

YOKEL: You wunt get Oi up in one o they buggerz.

OIK: Whyzzhatthen?

YOKEL: They'm too dangerous! Wot if zummat goes wraaang? Wot if the balloon burzztz? Thee'd plummet to thy death!

OIK: No you wun't.

YOKEL: Yes, you wuld!

OIK: No, cuz if the balloon burstz and you falls, aall you godda do is, when the basket is, like, one foot from the ground, jump out, and thee'd be okay.

YOKEL: Oh ah.

OIK: Ah.

I almost choked on my tea, but then I remembered I was in Somerset, and they couldn't help it.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Sat 6 Feb 2016, 11:46, 5 replies)

Die in a ballooning accident

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 7 Feb 2016, 21:23, closed)

who's stolen your login?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Sun 7 Feb 2016, 21:33, closed)

I thought he was supposed to be Who

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 7 Feb 2016, 21:41, closed)

I think it's unlikley that the former president of China spends his time on here.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sun 7 Feb 2016, 21:48, closed)