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This is a question Parents

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad" said Philip Larkin. Did he have a point? Perhaps yours are merely horrendously embarrassing? Or are you yourself that embarrassing or terrible parent? No tedious McCannery or nonce strikethroughs please, ffs.

(, Mon 6 Jun 2016, 15:43)
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More about my dad
Stories about my dad seem to frequently revolve around booze and his diabetes combining to create a shambling idiot and this is no exception.

One festive period a rather large man took offence at me trying to eject him from my pub and gave me a sound battering; cuts on my face & shattered wrist.

The lovely paramedics bandage me up and take me for the long wait in A&E.

My dad hears about my predicament and decides to come and see how I am (as he's only a few minutes away from the hospital).

In rolls father. Having been plied with booze by contractors at their staff party he almost literally rolls in.

Shock spreads across his face as he sees his middle child bloodied and bruised, covered in bandages slowly leaking red. Then he realises he's the parent here and must comfort me in the time honoured way dad's do with a pat and tussle of my head which as I've pointed out is in a pretty bad way.

"Fuck off dad!" I utter in a whispered shout at the pain of this drunk 6 footer bashing my bruised bonce in what he thinks is a sign of paternal care.

His face falls a little as his first attempt at comfort has failed so goes to his next arsenal in familial love and starts what can only be called a poor mans attempt at a death grip. Massaging my shoulders and shaking me back and forth rattles the 13 little bits my wrist has been broken into and elicits a squeak of pain and a command for him to piss off and stop touching me.

Now in a bit of a huff he sits opposite and pointedly gets his paper out to create a barrier between us. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to notice that his paper is upside down (a look that is compounded my the paper being Le Monde)

This is a man who got a scholarship to Oxford, speaks about 5 languages and is generally a very intelligent.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2016, 11:04, 3 replies)

a very intelligent...?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2016, 11:35, closed)
Always leave them wanting more

(, Wed 8 Jun 2016, 12:09, closed)
Commanding and a worldly.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2016, 13:20, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 2, 1