Phone Sex
Taking the 'inappropriately erotic' option from the question reminded me of a little joke my mate's girlfriend decided to try and play on me. Using her boyfriends phone she attempted to text me with a message along the lines of 'I secretly love you, when are you going to come over here and give me a right good seeing to?' kinda thing. She figured that me, being a hom, would read this message, supposedly from my mate, and of course come running right over, eager to take him up on his offer of naughty bum fun. Natch. However, her little scheme went ever so disasterously wrong when she realised, a split second too late, that in my mate's phone, my number was listed right next to his dad's number. Guess which one she sent it to?

By far the funniest part of this story was the fact that she was so embarrassed that the only person she told about this was, inexplicably, me! My mate has no idea and his dad has never mentioned it to him, such must be the shock of your own son confessing his love for you and wanting you to do him up the wrong 'un. Whenever I hear he's going to family gatherings I always imagine his dad either avoiding him completely or, much better, sitting in a chair, hands clamped on armrests in a death grip, sweating like a naughty horse and desperately trying not to take him up on the offer.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 3 Feb 2006, 16:24, Reply)