infomercials
every morning, i love it, just can't help myself. my favourites are the ones for proactiv and sheer cover. jessica simpson was just an ordinary girl then suddenly the whole world was watching. a fan came up to her and said "hang on a minute there, love, you've got a bit of toffee crisp stuck to your... HOLY CRAP WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR DAMN FACE?" then she discovered proactive. by removing the top layer of her skin with a combination of acid and sandpaper she discovered that, beneath a complexion like brighton beach after fatboy slim has puked all over it, there lurked a hollywood babe!

even if you don't have a face like a quiche, don't suffer the embarrassment of walking out of the house without a uniform skin tone by using sheer cover. that chick from charmed uses it and without it she looks like gollom. what, you don't believe it? then what about jennifer, a perfectly ordinary, slightly dumpy and boring looking woman who you'll find much easier to relate to. she looks completely normal, doesn't she? but wait, take a wet wipe and lets remove the sheer cover she already has on and we reveal... JESUS, DID SHE GO PAINTBALLING AND GET SHOT IN THE FACE? what, still not convinced? time to bring out the twins. one of them is going to get the sheer cover treatment. let's bring her out and compare her to her sister.... WOW! SHE'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT COLOUR! THAT'S AMAZING! QUICK, PAINT THE OTHER ONE YELLOW TOO BEFORE SHE SELF-HARMS. but, before you get your credit card out, no one has made us cry yet. time to bring out the housewife from arkansas who used to kiss her husband goodbye in the morning from behind a sheet, lest he noticed that he'd married fester addams. but now, thanks to sheer cover, she insists on sleeping with the light on.

and all for the price of £29.95, a lifetime subscription and more products than you can dispose of responsibly. i can hardly wait for tomorrow morning.
(threadkiller, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)