Airport StoriesBack when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.
Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.
Tell us your best airport stories.
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chthonic, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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ScaryA bunch of stories... I'm not a keen flyer any more.......
I'm 18 and in Mauritius airport. My uncle works there so he's made all my arrangements and my luggage is safely sorted so I'm taken to the 1st class lounge and he proceeds to get me hammered - hooray - ordinarily at any rate. Some time later, I regain consciousness on a plane. That I don't remember getting on. It's flying. Somewhere.... Cue an amount of panic before I realised all I had to do was ask the odd couple next to me who look surprised that the dead body that was next to them just woke up - Cue another 10 hours with a screaming hangover, not enough water, no painkillers and too much noise. Not fun. Fortunately I'm on my way home - if it had been reversed I'd've put me on a different flight.. ***Evil Cackle***
Another time, same airport, I'm scanned several times and still setting off the ol' detector. "Excuse me sir, come with us" - mucho panico (I like my arse just the way it is) and they realise that it's my belt that I'd not taken off.... Phew
Another time, Menorca - I'd picked up an ear infection from the pool (didn't realise it at the time though) so on take off with the ol' air pressure building (like it does) my head feels like it's going to explode, then it abates, then it's back, etc etc all the way home. Not much fun... I actually now have permanent tinitus..... (Sorry, what did you say?)
The most recent at JFK - for some reason they're a bit sensitive about security there (!). I don't look like your average terrorist (I look a bit like Tiger Woods really), but setting off the detector repeatedly isn't considered good. Cue Mr Airport security suggesting that I need to stand there (they have markers where your feet have to go) - I'm not arguing with the humourless tw*t, but my missus tries to pass me my passport (for when they haul me off to Guantanmo) and Rent-a-Thug says that she has to leave NOW and not pass me anything (That's all said in an angry, NY, humourless I-Have-A-Gun type voice)... I'm a bit worried as I'd like my passport and to be some where else just now but he decides that he's not going to violate me today and lets me go. On the up side we got upgraded to business class on that flight :-)
Apologies for length, actually - No I don't !!
(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 13:17, Reply)
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