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This is a question Airport Stories

Back when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.

Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.

Tell us your best airport stories.

(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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Jolly cheerful immigration official
I feel a little cheated, as I've never had a bad airport experience.

At JFK starting a weeks honeymoon we'd timed the flights to arrive late local time and get some kip to reset the body clock. Similarly, we were leaving early local time to have a long day on the flight back and do the same. Having done it a few times it seems to work.

Anyhoo, the emmigration chappy was one of the biggest guys I've ever seen. At least 6' 8" and built like a brick outhouse. Not in stereotypically american lardarse sense, but just 20 stone of bulging muscle.

"Purpose of Visit?"

"Holiday, well, honeymoon actually"

"Congratulations sir, but why New York?"

"I like shoe shops"

"OK, works for me. How long will you be staying?"

"Seven days, but eight nights" (I was worried that I might be thrown out on the stroke of midnight on the last day, I get very nervous around authority)


The rest of the lounge is then treated to the impressive sight of this collosus standing up and miming shagging someone bent over his desk, while also spanking her ass and whooping and hollering as if his life depended on it.

Needless to say I laughed so hard stuff came out of my nose. It took at least half a dozen attempts to take my picture with the little digicam thingy because I couldn't keep a straight face.
(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 16:07, Reply)

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