Airport StoriesBack when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.
Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.
Tell us your best airport stories.
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chthonic, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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Hernias, Han Solo and hurlingMy very first trip to the states was nearly a disaster before I'd even left my hometown. The chav dumbfuck of a taxi driver dropped me off at the wrong bus terminal at 4 in the morning. Shit, shit and more shit, I soon realised I was totally stranded with under half an hour before my bus was due to leave. So with three full suitcases I ran top speed along the empty duel carriageway, with no idea where I was going, giving myself a hernia in the process. Luckily before bursting into tears I spotted a Macdonalds I'd been to once before and made the bus just as the driver was closing the baggage hatch. It doesn't end there.
At the airport I was told by the vacant check-in lady that the ticket I'd just paid 500 quid for wasn't a "real ticket" (her words) and I'd have to wait until a seat could be found. I wasn't alone though, soon made friends with a guy in a similar situation. We loudly moaned about the shitness of Gatwick for 45 minutes until he was offered a seat in business class. By now I was shitting it as my plane was due to leave in about... oooh, a minute? I was resigned to my ugly fate when they finally gave me a seat. In business class too, score! As I boarded the plane I passed my new friend and laughed about how cool it was that I'm in a top seat as well. He just smiled like a smug bastard and said "yeah, you've got my seat mate, I've just been bumped to first class" utter, utter cunt. More?
My connecting flight in Carolina was possibly the scariest experience of my life. The pilot reminded me so much of Han Solo I was chuffed and couldn't wait to get in the air, until I saw the plane. One of those 10 seater prop planes. Very old model. In the air I had nothing to do but shut my eyes as tight as I could for 20 of the longest minutes in history while this rickety bastard literally fell through the sky. I only opened my eyes once, when the cockpit alarms went off. Looking out the window on my right I saw the horizon tilted at a horrid 45 degree angle and quite spectacularly threw up everywhere.
On the ground, the guy who took my passport was from my hometown. Fuckin' chances of that?
(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 22:41, Reply)
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