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Back when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.

Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.

Tell us your best airport stories.

(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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The African Connection
When I was 12, my family went to Zimbabwe on a foreign-aid contract to help educate the unwashed masses. Stopovers in Amsterdam and Kenya before arrival in Harare; total trip time 31 hours.

I was already fairly exhausted by the time we had our stop in Nairobi. I had a fruit salad when we got there, which let me know that it had been left out in the sun a little too long by resurfacing onto the departure lounge floor.

I was feeling very, very ill by the time we got on our Air Kenya flight. The fact that the aeroplane interior smelled of stale gym shoes did not help one bit. But the worst was still to come.

I have done a lot of flying, and experienced various sudden drops and heavy turbulence, but nothing has ever come close to that flight. The whole aeroplane was rattling like an ancient bicycle the whole time we were in the air. I already felt like absolute death, but when I looked out of my window over the wing, I genuinely thought I was going to die.

The rivets in the wing, I kid you not, were rattling loose in their sockets. The whole fucking aeroplane was about to fall apart! And I wasn't the only one who thought that this was the end -- there were screams every time we hit an air pocket.

When we eventually landed in Zimbabwe, people were crying and hugging each other when they got off the plane. I was too sick to feel any joy at all, I could only just drag myself to my hotel bed where I stayed for several days.

Definitely not one of my most fun travel experiences, but it gives me a warm glow looking back to know that I survived!

P.S. Air Kenya? Not recommended.
(, Sat 4 Mar 2006, 8:12, Reply)

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