Frank was fired for killing the fish...
And I took over from him...

My first job was to humanely dispose of all the fish Frank had killed.

“Fuck this for a lark” I thought…I just threw the buggers into Leo the lion’s cage. The next day I checked, and lo and behold, they were all gone. Result.

For my next task, I was sent to work cleaning out the chimpanzees.

Well that looked like a bit of a mucky job, and I couldn’t really be arsed, so I just sprayed the floor with water. Covered the place.

Wouldn’t you know it? 2 of the bloody chimps climbed down from their frame, slipped on the water and brokes their backs. Stone.fucking.dead. Shit.

Well, as you can imagine I was a bit worried about getting into trouble, so remembering Frankspencer’s advice, I threw the bodies into the lions’ cage.

Next day I checked…and they were gone. Get in there.

For my next job, I was also sent to the insects exhibit. Particularly the bee hives. Well, in my full protective gear I started to approach the bees but something must’ve spooked ‘em pretty bad, because they all came flying out and attacked me! The bastards!

So I grabbed the nearest thing that came to hand…a shovel actually…and started swatting the buzzing fuckers for all I was worth. Before I knew what was happening, I was standing in a pile of bees…all squashed to buggery. Oh crap.

Well, I did the only honourable thing…I scraped them all into a wheelbarrow and chucked the bodies into Leo’s cage. Checked next day…Bees gone…Job done.

The day after that, I had to take a delivery of a new Lion. As it was being led into the cage I saw it approach Leo and I’m sure I heard something like:

New Lion: “Hello, What’s your name?”
Leo: “Leo”
New Lion: “Well Leo, nice to meet you. Do they treat you alright here? What’s the diet like?”
Leo: “Ah, it’s not too bad, for the last three days I’ve had fish, chimps and mushy bees!”

*baddum tish*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 7 Dec 2007, 10:23, Reply)