A swan.
On holiday in Blackpool with me mates when we were 16 years old staying in a caravan park on a wildlife reserve called Marton Mere. Usually the odd rabbit could be heard smacking it's head off the bottom of the caravan, but we woke up one moring to a strange tapping and scratching on the door.

One of the lads, Steve, decided to check this out and without knowing, he flung open the top door of the caravan, smacking the swan in the head, knocking seven shades of shite out of it.

Before Steve could check the damage to the animal (and the caravan door), it shook it's head, got to it's feet and went straight for us. We managed to get back into the caravan, where this rather narked swan held us hostage for over 30 minutes, opening its wings and spitting and hitting the door, until a park keeper came to take the bloody thing away.

A massive crowd of people had gathered to watch (from a safe distance, obviously), and we were busting for the loo. Then we had to answer the park keeper why the swan was pished off in the first place!
(Charlie Baked Potato, Thu 2 Jun 2005, 12:23, Reply)